[Westheim]

Raccoons (89-60) vs. Aces (59-90) – September 21-23, 2038

To start a 9-day, 10-game homestand, the Raccoons would host the Aces well knowing that more losses were not an option. They had to be winners now. The Aces, down 5-1 in the season series, were very much not. 11th in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed didn’t make for a pretty record, not even in the 2038 Continental League with only three good teams, and none of them in the Aces’ division.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (17-6, 3.20 ERA) vs. Jesus Rodarte (6-7, 2.85 ERA)
Steve Fidler (9-4, 2.72 ERA) vs. Chris Crowell (12-8, 3.35 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-11, 4.45 ERA) vs. Willie Gallardo (0-4, 5.40 ERA)

In contrast to recent weeks, we’d see the southpaw in the opener rather than the last game of the set.

Since losing was no longer an option, Jared Ottinger was pushed to the end of the longest line thanks to the off day on Monday. The Raccoons were also still without Jesus Maldonado, who had still ruined toilets through Monday, including the one on the plane home from Tijuana. Rich Vickers still had the tight knee, and with Cosmo Trevino on the DL anyway, all hope could be rightfully abandoned.

Game 1
LVA: 1B Wiersma – SS O‘Keefe – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – RF Platero – C Kuehn – CF Velazquez – 3B Armfield – P Rodarte
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Brito – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – SS Myers – CF Castro – 1B Maruyama – P Sparkes

Jeff Kilmer corked a 2-piece to left-center in the bottom 1st, plating Greenway and his 2-out walk, giving the Raccoons some sort of hope. Sparkes scattered three singles the first time through, but was not scored upon in the early innings, and by going three innings in this game he also reached 200 for the season. Bottom 3rd, the Critters loaded the bases with a Jose Brito walk and two singles by the 3-4 batters that had already worked out the earlier lead, bringing up Brad Ledford with one out. He flew out to Steve Jorgensen in shallow left, Chris O’Keefe snatched Dave Myers’ liner, and the only run the Critters got in the inning scored on a balk… Some are good, some are lucky? The Raccoons surely weren’t in the first category, also stranding Alex Castro and Alberto Ramos on the corners with Brito’s groundout to end the bottom 4th…

The entire park gasped when Troy Greenway dove and tumbled for a Jorgensen bloop in the fifth inning. He made the catch for the third out, stranding O’Keefe and Mario Briones, and also avoided breaking any arms, legs, and necks. Alex Castro stole the first base of his but brief major league career in the sixth inning, but was also stranded by Maruyama and Sparkes, and at least the latter was excused for still carving on a shutout. More offense finally came about in the bottom 7th, with Jose Brito reaching base ahead of Troy Greenway, who reached the cheap seats with a gargantuan homer off John Landrum, his 37th of the year, and only one short of the franchise high-water mark. Sparkes held steady through eight, but arrived in the ninth on 94 pitches. Corey Caldwell legged out an infield single to begin the inning, and Ed Stedham slashed a 2-out single through the left side from the #9 hole. First, who were those people, and second, why did they insist on being annoying? Occasional pest Ken Wiersma would be the last guy for Sparkes, with Jermaine Campbell readying. Sparkes lost him on balls, then had to go. Unfortunately, a full count to O’Keefe also ended with four balls for Campbell, walking in a run. Briones struck out to finally end the pesky game. 5-1 Coons. Greenway 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Castro 1-2, 2 BB; Sparkes 8.2 IP, 9 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (18-6);

Among the top 3 in the CL North, only the Critters had been off on Monday. The Loggers had by now lost twice to the Falcons, while the Elks had split a pair with Tijuana. The Raccoons were four games out, and 1 1/2 behind Milwaukee.

Game 2
LVA: 1B Wiersma – SS O‘Keefe – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – RF Platero – C Kuehn – CF Caldwell – 3B Armfield – P Crowell
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Ken Wiersma, the occasional but regular pest, opened the game with a double up the line in left and scored on Briones’ single to give the Aces a quick lead. I moaned deeply and Maud was briefly concerned I’d expire on the spot. The Raccoons didn’t do anything in the first, but in the second loaded the bases with Greenway walking, Morales singling, and Brito reaching on an error. Stedham batted with one out and three aboard, but his fly to left was caught by Jorgensen. It was deep enough to get Greenway home to tie the game, but Fidler struck out to end the inning. Maldonado tripled in the bottom 3rd, but was teeth-gnashingly stranded. A runner was back at third base in the fourth inning, with Ed Hooge hitting a leadoff double to right and advancing on a wild pitch. Tony Morales obliged my deepest wishes and hit a single to left, putting Portland ahead 2-1.

Both teams kept wasting the odd single here and there through the next innings. Fidler ended up scattering seven hits through as many innings, then was batted for when his spot was up leading off the bottom 7th. Dave Myers walked in his spot, but the Raccoons didn’t get him much further up the road until Manny Fernandez also walked with two outs. Greenway slapped an RBI single for an extra run, 3-1, and got his 120th RBI of the year. Hoogey added another single, but Morales grounded out. That gave a 4-1 lead to the pen, with Antonio Prieto single-handedly blowing the lead with a walk to O’Keefe, a Briones single, and Jose Platero’s intestine-tearing homer to left. That was nothing compared to the ninth, with Garavito’s leadoff walk issued to Chad Armfield, and then the homer Ken Wiersma, the ******* **** ****, hit off Ben Feist. Generally, as a rule of thumb, if you’re unsigned when the season starts, there’s a reason for that, right? RIGHT, BEN?? Portland had removed Berto for defense when they were still up 4-1, so now Alex Castro pinch-hit for Feist, the dismal huffer and puffer, in the #1 hole to begin the bottom 9th against southpaw Casey McQueen, who walked Castro, and then also Manny with one out. Greenway thus came up as the winning run. And he indeed ended the game! …with a grounder to second base. 4-6-3. Ballgame. 6-4 Aces. Hooge 2-4, 2B, RBI; Moales 2-4, RBI; Fidler 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K;

The Loggers lost their last CL South game, and the damn Elks won theirs, putting the Raccoons five games out and without much in terms of actual chances. And they had nobody to ******* blame but their own ****** performances since the summer.

Game 3
LVA: CF Rossi – SS O’Keefe – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – RF Platero – C Kuehn – 1B Byrd – 3B Armfield – P O. Valdes
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Chavez

Oscar Valdes (4-3, 4.13 ERA) was a 27-year-old right-handed sophomore with spotty track record and as far as we knew not related by blood or blood money to Nick Valdes, most beloved and dearest leader around these parts. The Aces spotted him a 2-0 lead when Bernie Chavez clumsily walked Nate Rossi and gave up a blast to O’Keefe, and made us wonder out loud why we hadn’t sent Ottinger to begin with. The Coons had the bags full in the bottom 2nd, with Greenway doubling and two walks right after that, meaning there was nobody out for Rich Vickers, who hit a hard comebacker to Valdes that was good for a 1-2-3 double play, and Stedham grounded out for the last out.

No substantial threat arose from the Raccoons until the fifth, when Stedham reached first base under his own power to begin the inning, and Bernie Chavez reached second base for a capital throwing error by Armfield. The tying runs were thus in scoring position with nobody out. Berto laid off the garbage and drew a walk, but that only meant the Aces had us right where they wanted us – three on, no outs, and too ******* stupid to pull a booger from our own noses. Maldonado poked at the first pitch, grounded to short, 6-4-3, and while a run scored, everything was very sad indeed. Manny whiffed, the inning ended, and I wished the season would too…

Bernie Chavez was yanked after frustratingly soft singles by Platero and Paul Kuehn to open the seventh. David Fernandez got through the bottom of the order to keep the score at 2-1, and Pena pitched a 1-2-3 eighth against that part of the order and even with two strikeouts. None of which meant a comeback on the scoreboard until Troy Greenway faced a tiring Oscar Valdes with two outs in the bottom 8th and hit a franchise mark-matching bomb to right. Since nobody was on base, he only tied the game. Yeom Soung kept it tied in the ninth, and the Raccoons had a chance to walk off against Matt May, a righty with an average ERA, in the bottom 9th. Morales struck out, but Vickers and Stedham singled. Brad Ledford hit for Soung but popped out on a defensive swing at 3-2, and that brought up Berto, who slapped a ball up the middle. No chance for O’Keefe, and Vickers got the early start with two outs and easily scored from second base, ending the game with a walkoff …! 3-2 Raccoons! Ramos 2-4, RBI; Greenway 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Maruyama (PH) 1-1; Chavez 6.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K;

We made up half a game this way, and thus were 4 1/2 out with 10 to play – which were bad odds, really, but since we had the damn Elks in the season finale, we only had to make up 1 1/2 games in our next seven to have fate in our own paws compared to them, and the Loggers were only one game ahead of us anyway. It looked *bad* … but it was still doable.

Enter the Crusaders.

Raccoons (91-61) vs. Crusaders (64-88) – September 24-26, 2038

Almost certainly locked into sixth place in the North, the Crusaders were just playing out the string. We already had the season series in the bag at 10-5, but needed three more wins anyway. They were sixth in runs scored, but were allowing the very most runs in the CL with a -143 run differential. And did I mention we need the three wins?

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (9-11, 3.60 ERA) vs. Bill Quintero (8-16, 4.11 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-8, 5.39 ERA) vs. Julian Ponce (7-12, 3.85 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (18-6, 3.11 ERA) vs. Dave Hils (4-5, 2.63 ERA)

Right, left, right. And remember boys, we need the wins.

Game 1
NYC: LF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 1B Salto – SS Duenez – CF Salek – 2B Lira – CF Besaw – P Quintero
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Sabre

Ramon Sifuentes hit a homer to left in the first inning, and the Raccoons would have to play another one from behind, then were doomed by getting three on with nobody out in the bottom of the first. Greenway came up, but struck out in a full count, which was apparently a thing that could happen, but left my jaw dropped to my knees. Ed Hooge made it all whole again with a 2-run single, but that would be all for now. Mario Duenez, Rich Salek, and Tony Lira reached in order to tie the game against Sabre in the fourth, but Sabre countered with an unexpected 2-out, 2-strike single over Tony Lira in the bottom of the inning, sending Jesse Stedham first-to-third, and then across home plate a minute later when Berto singled to right, 3-2. Maldonado grounded out to strand a pair. Quintero would get revenge with a 2-out single of his own in the sixth inning, but with nobody out, and was also stranded.

So while Sabre was in no way dominant or even convincing, with seven hits against him in six frames, he remained 3-2 ahead at that point. Ledford hit for him with no more of a chance than Morales on first and two outs in the bottom 6th, and grounded out. Between Dennis Citriniti, David Fernandez, a Berto error, and two Crusaders base runners, the Raccoons made a real mess out of the top 7th, which nevertheless ended with a pop to Vickers by PH George Hawthorne. That stranded the runners, but the leadoff jack the .172 monster Lira hit off Fernandez in the eighth tied the game anyway. Pena then got three outs. Bottom 8th, righty Manny Vasquez had the inning covered after Hooge’s 1-out single when Morales grounded to short, except that Mario Duenez flipped the ball away and the Raccoons had runners on first and second with one out. Vickers struck out, Stedham flew out. Oh, you teases!!

The game went to extras, the Raccoons went to Travis Sims, and soon regretted it when he nailed Duenez, but then recovered to retire the next three with two strikeouts included. No left-handed batter ever came up, which was the only reason why he wasn’t yanked. Ed Hooge singled and stole second in the bottom 10th, but was left on. He was then removed from the game in a double switch, with Prieto getting into the #5 hole and striking out the side in the top 11th, then hit a guy, Devin Phillips, and walked two more (Hawthorne, Lira) to get stuck with two outs in the 12th. Yeom Soung struck out Tony Coca, the old foe, to end the inning, plus two more in a 1-2-3 13th, while the offense did zero. The bottom 13th began with Greenway up against new pitcher, lefty Casey Pinter. Greenway was 0-5 with 3 K, the sort of rotten day that would magically turn into greatness with a leadoff jack – if I had my will. I didn’t get it, but he got the sombrero. Trying just … that *tad* too hard…!

By the 14th, the Raccoons wound up with Chris Womble and had resign themselves to their fate. Graciano Salto singled in the inning, but that was all, but the Raccoons still couldn’t even get on ******* base, and the 15th then had Ryan Carr double in Tony Lira to break the persistent tie. The Raccoons brought the top of the order to the plate against Jamal Barrow and his 4.32 ERA in the bottom 15th. Berto singled to center. Maldo dove out of the way of an errant 0-2 that sent Berto to second base, but eventually struck out. Fernandez grounded out. Greenway grounded out. 4-3 Crusaders. Ramos 3-7, RBI; Hooge 3-5, 2 RBI; Stedham 2-6;

The damn Elks swept a double header from the useless Titans, and that put the Raccoons six games out. There was hardly a person left that considered them a playoff candidate, not with that ****** hitting, and not with Ottinger the Devastator on deck.

Devastating to our own record, that is.

Game 2
NYC: LF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – SS Duenez – CF Salek – 2B Lira – 1B K. Henderson – CF Besaw – P Ponce
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Brito – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – SS Williams – LF Castro – 1B Maruyama – P Ottinger

Alex Castro hit his first major league homer for a 2-0 lead in a second inning in which Ottinger struck out the side, so wonders would indeed never cease, even though the Raccoons were beyond the saving capabilities of most major miracles now. They had the bags full in the fourth, though, with Kilmer, Williams, and Castro all aboard, but both Maruyama and Ottinger popped out to strand all of them. Then Ottinger also blew the lead in a completely off-the-rails fifth. Lira walked, and Joe Besaw dropped a single. They were bunted into scoring position with two outs, which was not a shock move with the pitcher up. Then Ottinger scored Lira with a wild pitch, and the tying run came home on Lorenzo Herrera’s howling double to left. Ottinger threw another wild pitch before Sifuentes flew out to right. And while that was the only major mistake he had in 6.2 *fine* innings before Ponce (…) chased him with a single in the seventh (Garavito got out of the inning), I wished nothing more than to strangle him with my own paws. Nothing compared to the eighth, where Ben Feist was dismembered in front of thousands of screaming kids. Salto reached on a Kilmer throwing error, and Duenez singled him home to break the tie. Rich Salek singled, and Tony Lira hit an RBI single. Feist was kicked down the stairs to the clubhouse, and Tony Pena gave up a sac fly before getting out of the inning.

Down 5-2, the Raccoons did … well, Myers walked. Brito singled. Maldonado hit an RBI double. The tying runs were in scoring position for Greenway with nobody out, and he was haphazardly walked to fill the bags. Three on, no outs, doom – new pitcher Manny Vasquez would surely clean up. Or walk in a run against Kilmer, 5-4. Berto batted for Williams, but whiffed against southpaw Todd Lish, who immediately yielded for right-hander Jeff Turi. Ledford batted for Castro and hit a sac fly, tying the game, and Stedham batted for Maruyama and walked. Rich Vickers batted for Pena and clipped an RBI single to center, 6-5. Myers struck out. Jermaine Campbell inherited the lead, and had the game closed out with Ben Putz at first and two outs when Devin Phillips grounded to short… and Dave Myers ****** up the play. Error. Another guy aboard. Duenez walked, bases loaded. Salek dropped a game-tying single. Greg Ortiz finally flew out to center. But the game was tied, and the Raccoons had thrown out almost all their bench already. They also made three quick outs in the bottom 9th against Pinter.

Citriniti had a clean inning, then loaded the bases in the 11th with a Ricardo Salmeron double, a nicked Devin Phillips, and a walk to Duenez, and one out. The Raccoons called for a left-hander, but Gene Tennis was the only rested option. The Crusaders responded with a righty pinch-hitter in Tony Coca. On Coca’s RBI single, a wild pitch, an RBI groundout by Dan Ferry, Kumanosuke Henderson’s RBI double, singles by Joe Besaw and Tim Stalker (et tu??), five runs scored before Salmeron grounded out to end the inning. The Raccoons fell kinda short of rallying that out in the bottom 11th. 11-7 Crusaders. Kilmer 3-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Castro 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Vickers (PH) 1-1, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

(sits there, frozen solid, with a very thin line of blood running from one corner of the mouth)

Game 3
NYC: LF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 1B Salto – RF Salek – 2B Lira – SS J. Adams – CF Besaw – P Hils
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

After leaving Berto on second base in the first, the Raccoons started the second inning with a Manny single. Tony Morales also was going to single to right, but the batted ball struck Fernandez’ ankle, he was called out, and Brito hit into a double play, which was the perfect summary for the season. The team would take a lead on singles by Ledford, Fernandez, and Morales in the fourth, but looking around the half-empty stands, nobody cared anymore. There was nothing to care about anymore. 20 wins for Sparkes, maybe. 40 homers for Greenway, who was 0-for-his-last-13.

Sparkes had the Crusaders on the ground through seven innings, allowing just two soft hits. Jim Adams hit an infield single to begin the eighth, but there was no reason to think that – no, PH Ricardo Salmeron just doubled. A pop on the infield bought time, but Henderson hit a sac fly from the #1 hole, tying the game against useless Raccoons. Berto was on base in the bottom 8th, and was also caught stealing. The ninth began with Phillips and Salto doubles off Sparkes to break the tie, and a pinch-hit double off Garavito by George Hawthorne. Manny Fernandez drew a walk off Mike Simcoe to begin the bottom 9th. Tony Morales hit into a double play. 3-1 Crusaders. Ramos 2-4; Ledford 2-4; M. Fernandez 2-3, BB; Morales 2-4, RBI; Stedham 2-3; Sparkes 8.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER; 0 BB, 4 K, L (18-7);

In other news

September 20 – Tijuana’s Donovan Bunyon (.266, 8 HR, 56 RBI) goes yard for the only run in a 1-0 win over the Canadiens as both teams vie for a spot in the CLCS.
September 21 – It takes 11 innings for OCT 2B/SS Jose Agosto (.222, 1 HR, 24 RBI) to decide their game with the Crusaders by a sac fly, giving the Thunder a 1-0 win.
September 22 – Guilty of a walkoff balk is Knights reliever Roland Warner (3-3, 1.98 ERA, 11 SV), twitching with Boston’s John Hitch on third base to wave the winning run across for the Titans, 2-1 in nine innings.
September 23 – SFW C Ethan McCullar (.279, 27 HR, 114 RBI) brings in five runs on nothing more than a double and a single in a 12-2 rush of the Buffaloes.
September 25 – The Indians hold the Loggers to a Danny Valenzuela (.325, 10 HR, 69 RBI) single for 11 innings before finally scoring themselves for a 2-0 win.
September 26 – The Canadiens lose their game with the Titans in the 14th inning when C Derek James (.366, 0 HR, 5 RBI) is called out for catcher’s interference with the bases loaded, giving the Titans a 2-1 walkoff win.
September 26 – CIN SP Trevor Corrigan (11-9, 3.80 ERA) 2-hits the Capitals in a 5-0 Cincy win.

FL Player of the Week: SAL OF Justin Kristoff (.265, 2 HR, 23 RBI), batting .529 (9-17) with 2 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA LF Ruben Esperanza (.287, 19 HR, 89 RBI), hitting .478 (11-23) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I made it through Johan Dolder being from Luxembourg and playing like it, and survived.

I made it through drafting Orlando Lantán who broke his knee and never recovered, and survived.

I made it through Glenn Johnston dropping Ed Parrell’s fly ball, and survived.

I made it through Raúl Castillo lasting three games for Dennis Fried’s Hall of Fame career, and survived.

I made it through Ben O’Morrissey’s treachery and a 40-win drop, and survived.

I made it through Kisho Saito voiding his last year of contract and fleeing to Japan, and survived.

I made it through Juan Diaz’ three wild pitches in one at-bat, and survived.

I made it through Keith Ayers being out at home, and survived.

I made it through Jimmy Oatmeal breaking out in Tijuana, and survived.

I made it through R.J. DeWeese waging war against his own team, and survived.

I made it through Nick Brown getting old and terrible, and survived.

I made it through Jonny Toner’s arm coming off, and survived.

I made it through Rich Hereford being snubbed for Player of the Year, and survived.

I made it through Ralph Nixon, and survived.

I made it through Raúl Herrera, and survived.

I made it through Chris Roberson, and survived.

I made it through Daniel Dickerson, and survived.

I made it through Christian Greenman, and survived.

I made it through Hugo Mendoza, and survived.

I made it through Omar Alfaro, and survived.

I made it through Travis Garrett, and survived.

I made it through Jarod Howden, and survived.

I made it through dismal 1977, and survived.

I made it through wretched 1979, and survived.

I made it through disappointing 1984, and survived.

I made it through fiery 1988, and survived.

I made it through clusterbombed 1997, and survived.

I made it through desolate 2000, and survived.

I made it through starved 2002, and survived.

I made it through pacifist 2005, and survived.

I made it through collapsing 2007, and survived.

I made it through devastating 2012, and survived.

I made it through perpetually short 2017 through 2020, and survived.

I made it through forsaken 2022, and survived.

I made it through withering 2030, and survived.

I made it through mortifying 2031, and survived.

I made it through clownish 2032, and survived.

I will make it through this, too, and will survive.

Fun Fact: The Canadiens’ high-water mark for wins in a season is 102, achieved in 1986.

(stares blankly into space)