[Westheim]

Raccoons (83-52) @ Canadiens (82-52) – September 6-9, 2038

This series was not good on so many levels. It wasn’t the right time for it, it wasn’t the right place for it, and besides, playing the damn Elks was never a good idea in the first place. Even if the Raccoons were up 7-4 in the season series, you’d better bet on those filthy hoof bearers to have some vile-smelling trick up their antlers. Or… they’d just gore you with antlers. They were leading the CL in runs scored, which surely was going to mend well with our wobbly rotation, and as the newest development they had also allowed the fewest runs, making them a hot poker iron that was surely going to wind up in somebody’s eye… Their run differential was +158, while the Raccoons were stuck at +98.

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (8-4, 3.00 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (17-6, 3.29 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-6, 5.05 ERA) vs. Raymond Pearce (9-3, 3.85 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-10, 4.12 ERA) vs. David Arias (12-5, 3.15 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-10, 3.69 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (7-10, 3.95 ERA)

Three right-handed opponents, and then, if we even dared and/or bothered to show up by Thursday, a southpaw at the end.

(looks to his left on his old, tear-soaked couch at home, finding Nick Valdes sitting there with a bowl of popcorn and a soda) How the **** did YOU get in??

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Fidler
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – LF LeJeune – SS Sibley – 3B Schneider – P Sealock

While I was embroiled in a custody battle for Honeypaws with Nick Valdes, Maldonado became the first Raccoon with a base hit, a first-inning single, in the game and would remain the only one for a long time. Manny Fernandez also hit into a double play immediately. At least Steve Fidler didn’t explode at first sight, which was already a plus. The main threat in that dismal Elks lineup was Jerry Outram, who had slipped to a .369 clip at this point and was no longer a threat to hit .400 – what a relief!

The game remained scoreless through five, with neither side managing more than two base hits. Tony Morales singled in the fifth. Rich Vickers reliably hit into a double play. Bizarrely it would be Fidler to make the first advance into scoring position for Portland in the sixth inning, hitting a double to right with one out. Berto flew out easily, but Maldonado singled him to third base. There he remained when Fernandez grounded out. Fidler then loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, granting a single to center to Johnny Lopez and walks to Outram and Timóteo Clemente. With two outs, persistent coonslayer Jesse LeJeune was up and the Raccoons pulled the plug on Fidler. Yeom Soung got a grounder to Vickers to end the inning, then got in line for the W in the top 7th, which Troy Greenway led off with a double to right before Brad Ledford smacked a longball for a 2-0 lead. For a brief moment, Valdes and me stopped playing tug-of-war with Honeypaws, one pulling on the snout and the other at the tail. Vickers, Stedham, and Berto would also find their way on base in the inning, all being stranded when LeJeune chased down a Maldonado fly in the left-center gap.

And then it all came apart. Soung and Pena held up in the seventh, but the eighth saw David Fernandez blow the lead with a walk to Outram and a Ryan Phillips homer. He then also walked Clemente before being excused from further playtime. Ben Feist came in, PH Derek James singled, PH Jacob Kolbe walked, and with two outs and a full count to PH Ramon Cabral, Feist threw a ball in the dirt to give the damn Elks the lead, 3-2. Glenn Sprague singled home two before Feist was taken out to be shot behind the nearest barn. Prieto got a grounder from Lopez to end the inning, but the game was in the bin, just like the entire ******* season. For extra bitterness, Jeff Kilmer hit a pinch-hit 2-run homer off Tim Zimmerman in the ninth. But the Raccoons had to make up three and those two were all they got. 5-4 Canadiens. Maldonado 2-4; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, HR, 2 RBI;

The situation was far from ideal, but thankfully Maud drove by before the Tuesday game and delivered Fairydust, Valdes’ own stuffed toy raccoon that had been sitting in some place in the ballpark since the last time we each needed a stuffed toy for comfort. We invited Maud to stay for the game with us and the truckload of Chinese food we had ordered, but she made something up about a hairdresser appointment she couldn’t miss. I sniffed a lie, but then again – more spring rolls for me!

(hisses at Valdes reaching for a spring roll)

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – C Morales – CF Hooge – 2B Caskey – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – LF Sibley – 3B Ashley – P Pearce

Single, walk, single, single – Ottinger didn’t retire any of the first four Elks, all of which came around to score in the first inning, putting that game into the L column. Phillips drove in Sprague with the single, Cabral hit a 2-run double, and Ross Sibley chipped in a sac fly. So that game was in the bin. Ottinger perversely singled home Jon Caskey with two outs in the second inning after Pearce had walked a pair, but all that Tonerian offense was useless if he kept pitching like Bob Joly. The damn Elks grabbed their run back in the bottom of the inning anyway, with Ottinger walking Lopez, who made for third base on Outram’s single, then scored when Ed Hooge threw the ball away. Greenway ripped a solo homer to right in the top 3rd, but at that point even eating was no fun anymore. Clemente homered off Ottinger in the bottom 3rd, and the useless tosser also put Sibley on base before facing Pearce with two outs. He gave up an RBI double in the gap, 7-2, then was yanked. Cheeks stuffed, Valdes pointed at the TV as Ottinger slumped off towards an early shower and made some noises, but I thought I understood him well enough – being grinded to bone dust between two millstones was still too good a fate for Ottinger…

There was still one or two guys not lying down. After Francisco Pena survived loading the bases in the bottom 4th, the Raccoons got Berto on with one down in the top 5th. Berto stole second, then scored on a Ledford single. Greenway ripped another jack, shortening the gap to 7-5, close enough to have manic illusions of a comeback again. And while the Raccoons got runners on, they didn’t them in. Berto and Greenway were on in the seventh and stranded. Jon Caskey walked in the eighth, which led nowhere. When Maldonado hit a 1-out homer off left-hander Juan Melendrez in the ninth, the team was still a run shy. Dave Myers hit for Ledford and struck out. Greenway walked, keeping the game going at least. Kilmer batted for Morales, who was 0-for-4. He grounded out to short. 7-6 Canadiens. Ramos 3-5; Greenway 2-3, 2 BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Garavito 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Troy Greenway’s pair of bombs tied him for third place on the Critters’ single-season leaderboard. And yet all I wanted was to roll into a ball with Honeypaws locked into a cage of my four limbs and cry myself to sleep.

But YOU try going to sleep with Nick Valdes rolled up around your hindpaws and babbling through the entire night about all the things wrong with the team …!

Maud gave me the pep talk on the phone on Wednesday before the game, there was still time to secure a split and so on and so on. I bought none of it; and she also still refused to come over to lessen the Valdes-sized burden on me. So I resorted to calling Matt Nunley, who immediately volunteered to also supply food on his newest BBQ grill station, the supersized “Monolith”. He also brought over half an oxen (dead, fortunately!) before we found out there was no way to get either oxen or Monolith into the fourth floor. So he grilled the damn thing on the street. Neighbors called the cops, but Nunley bought them off with oxen sandwiches.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Chavez
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Sprague – 3B Ashley – P D. Arias

The Raccoons turned the spit around in the first inning, getting Berto on with a soft single before both Maldonado and Greenway ripped RBI doubles. Brad Ledford did them one better, bashing a homer to right-center, 4-0. At that point, all I wanted was seven innings of 1-run ball from Bernie, y’know, modest wishes. Outram rammed out his 27th bomb of the year right in the bottom 1st, but it was a solo job, which meant Bernie would pitch six scoreless after that, for sure. Before those bubbles could be burst, the Raccoons had a bases-loaded situation in the top 2nd with Stedham and Berto drawing walks before Maldonado got plunked. Manny struck out, but with two gone Troy Greenway continued his very best efforts to drag the damn team into the playoffs all by himself, singling up the middle for two runs. Ledford added an RBI single, 7-1, before Morales struck out.

And that wasn’t enough. Chavez walked Cabral on four pitches to begin the bottom 2nd, then gave up a single to Sprague. Ray Ashley hit a 3-run homer, which meant the damn Elks scored three runs on eight pitches. PH Jacob Kolbe singled. Alex Perez grounded out, after which Lopez and Outram hit back-to-back RBI doubles. That was the end for Chavez – 6 runs on 1.1 innings with a seventh pending – and David Fernandez went on to walk the ******* bags full before Sprague flew out to Manny Fernandez to end the inning. It was a 7-6 game through two innings, and Nunley hadn’t brought nearly enough oxen to stuff the whole in my soul.

Needing somebody to pitch a few innings, the Raccoons turned to Gene Tennis for long relief, when the ballboy would have been a better choice, and that guy was actually Canadian. Tennis blew the lead on Ashley’s leadoff jack, allowed a double to reliever Nick Lutz (what the …), and that runner scored on an Outram single, of course. Tennis pitched only two innings and escaped the loss when Myers batted for him with two outs in the fifth, found Morales and Stedham on the corners, and slapped an 0-2 pitch up the middle to tie the game against lefty Jordan Calderon. Berto popped out to right to end the inning, and the Critters abused Dennis Citriniti for another two innings on his tethered right arm just to keep the line moving – when I looked out the window after six innings, a whole street fest had developed around Nunley and the half oxen, and I didn’t know how, but somehow Nunley had even managed to make Bob Snitker from across the street eat an oxen sandwich – and Snitker was our quarter’s most fervent vegan street preacher!

Top 7th, Morales and Vickers opened with singles against Natanael Abrao. Stedham grounded out, sending them into scoring position, but when Ed Hooge pinch-hit for Citriniti, he struck out. All eyes on Berto, who fell to 1-2, then flicked a ball into left-center for a hit. Morales in, Vickers in, 10-8! Maldonado struck out. Next thing you know, Antonio Prieto is on the mound and surrounded by Elks with one out, but gets a 6-4-3 double play from Clemente to escape the damn mess…! Should we ACTUALLY win a game!? Nah. Me and my hysteria. Bottom 8th, Feist pitching. Cabral singled. Sprague singled. Ashley hit a comebacker, but Feist threw it away for two bases, putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position in a 10-9 game, and with nobody out. Eric Morrow hit in the #9 hole and struck out. Perez struck out. Vickers handled Lopez’ grounder to end the inning. I could barely breathe, but wasn’t sure whether it was the game or too much oxen, and the same was true for Valdes, who was snapping for air and the parts of his face normally white were very much red.

Top 9th, 1-out singles for Vickers and Stedham against Tim Zimmerman. Chiyosaku Maruyama hit for Feist, but grounded out. Berto flew out to Pat Pohl in right. That left Jermaine Campbell with no cushion against the mean part of the lineup in the bottom 9th, but after Outram flew out to Manny in deep, deep center, Pohl and Clemente struck out. 10-9 Critters…! Ramos 3-5, BB, 2 RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Ledford 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Vickers 2-5; Stedham 2-4, BB; Myers (PH) 1-1, RBI; Citriniti 2.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, W (6-1);

Thursday was tough. My paws didn’t reach the ground anymore – too much oxen in the tum.

(breathes heavily)

Maybe another nap or two.

The Raccoons flew in Chris Womble, a right-hander with a mixed record and 9.00 ERA in the majors so far, because any arm could do as well as what we already had…

Game 4
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Vickers – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Maruyama – LF Castro – SS Williams – 3B Myers – P Sabre
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Sprague – 3B Schneider – P A. Lewis

Alberto Ramos needed a day off and the left-hander presented a welcome opening. Alex Castro would get his first major league lineup assignment after only pinch-hitting once so far (without success). A leadoff jack by Maldonado was sure something the Raccoons didn’t get to see with Ramos in the #1 hole (he had not homered since ’34), and while Sabre scattered a few hits, he maintained the lead the first time through, but just when we started to get comfy with him (not with our circumference, though), Ryan Phillips tied the game with a bomb in the fourth.

The real problem came in the fifth inning, when Sabre nailed not only Johnny Lopez with one out… but also Lewis to start the game. This gross stupidity was punished by Phillips’ 2-out, 2-run double up the rightfield line, and I wanted to bicker about it, but even being mad was too exhausting. The Raccoons couldn’t mount any offense against Lewis, sprinkling five hits in highly inefficient manner through seven innings, not including the Maldonado homer. Lewis kept going in the eighth, entering on 90 pitches. Myers grounded out. Stedham singled to right after already having entered the game in a double switch. Maldonado singled to center, presenting Rich Vickers with the tying runs. Vickers rolled into a 5-4-3 double play. I moaned. Valdes moaned. Nobody quite knew whether it was the ****** dissolution of the inning or still too much oxen. Top 9th, down by two, Zimmerman. Berto hit for Kilmer and grounded out. Greenway grounded out. Manny Fernandez hit for the pitcher… and singled. Brad Ledford hit for Castro… and grounded out to Lopez. 3-1 Canadiens. Maldonado 2-4, HR, RBI; M. Fernandez (PH) 1-1; Stedham 1-1;

Raccoons (84-55) vs. Indians (65-75) – September 10-12, 2038

If there was such a thing as an easy opponent for the Raccoons, I’d say here was an easy opponent, with the Indians second from the bottom in runs allowed in the CL. Our offense could turn them into minced meat, in theory. But every lineup no matter how mediocre (and the Indians’ was quite mediocre) could turn any Raccoons starter inside-out in no time. There were no easy opponents, because our staff was a complete mess at this point. We were up 10-5 in the season series.

The last hope was Cosmo Trevino. He was activated on Friday, and that was unfortunately already four days too late.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (17-6, 3.17 ERA) vs. Joe Dishon (2-15, 5.49 ERA)
Steve Fidler (8-4, 2.84 ERA) vs. Jake Jackson (4-1, 2.36 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-7, 5.36 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (13-9, 2.61 ERA)

Well, alright-alright-alright-alright! Nobody wants to see more of Jared Ottinger! Not me, not you… okay, yes, Maud, the stupid brats in the cheap seats want. I would prefer him working on his dull arsenal rather than his Gobble career, though! But the alternatives were Bernie on three days’ rest (ostensibly not an issue after getting blown up on a mere 34 pitches on Wednesday) and Gene Tennis (barf). Like I said – it was ALL a mess.

The Indians would sent two right-handers and a left-hander.

(falls face-down into the couch cushions) No, thanks, Maud, I don’t want apple pie. If I eat another thing in this life, I’m gonna burst open.

Game 1
IND: C E. Thompson – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Levis – CF Baron – 2B McKenzie – LF Garbinski – SS D. Serrato – P Dishon
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

Trevino’s comeback lasted all of two innings and a bit, at which point he hurt himself on a defensive play and was out of the game again. Since I was having my face buried in the cushions, at least I didn’t have to see it. The Raccoons were down 1-0 thanks to Elliott Thompson’s leadoff double at the top of the game; Dan Hutson had driven him in.

The Coons got Greenway and Hooge to draw walks with one out in the bottom 4th. Tony Morales hit a gapper in left-center for a game-tying double. Dave Myers’ sac fly gave them the lead, but the Indians bowed out on an intentional walk to Stedham and a casual groundout from Bryce Sparkes, batting all of .033 on the year. He then added insult to injury, hitting Josh Garbinski to begin the fifth inning. Dave Serrato hit into a fielder’s choice, then was safe on Sparkes’ throw to second base on Dishon’s bunt. Thompson singled, loading the sacks. Mario Ochoa struck out, while Hutson slapped a 2-out grounder up the middle, with Myers making a lunging grab for the ball and flicking it to Vickers just in time to force out Thompson and end the inning. The Arrowheads tied the game at the next chance, which didn’t take long to materialize thanks to Doug Levis’ leadoff double in the sixth. He’d score on Garbinski’s sac fly, and everybody was even at two in the middle of the sixth.

A John Baron error put Greenway on first to begin the bottom 6th. He only gained one base for two outs before Myers rammed a ball off the fence in left-center for a 2-out RBI double, giving the Raccoons another lead. Stedham again didn’t get to bat, and Sparkes struck out. Why exactly didn’t the Raccoons pinch-hit for him? Who knows. Maybe we thought he’d have another good inning. he walked Thompson in the top 7th, then gave up a loud bouncer that homed in for Berto’s glove, and the confused veteran managed to turn a 5-4-3; that one just as easily could have been in the corner, giving Ochoa a game-tying RBI. Instead, the inning ended. Berto singled and stole second in the bottom 7th, but was left on base – Greenway was walked with intent and two outs. Dusty Kulp then retired Hooge on a cozy fly. Prieto and Soung combined for a scoreless eighth before Tony Morales hit another double to left-center, this time leading off in the Coons’ half of the eighth. Manny hit for Myers, but was ordered to first base. Stedham flew out. COME ON, INSURANCE RUN, I groaned into my pillows. Maldonado hit for Soung, flew out, Berto got nailed, and Vickers grounded out to Hutson, stranding three. With two outs in the ninth, Campbell was taken deep by Alberto Torres, the first home run in the majors for the 25-year-old September callup, and tying the game as well. I howled. Slappy even made a noise behind me.

Ledford reached in the bottom 9th, but was left on, and the game went to extra innings. Ben Feist held off the Arrowheads in the 10th, but Garavito gave up a run on Abel Madsen’s pinch-hit double and Sean Ebner’s pinch-hit single in the 11th. And since the Raccoons had geared for defense after the eighth inning, leading off in the #1 hole against Tim Thweatt in the bottom 11th was … Jon Caskey, batting .130; in other words, ballgame. Unless Thweatt walked him, which he did. Vickers flew out to right, but Ledford got nailed for the second time, putting the winning run on base. Come on, Greenway – they’re begging for it! But Troy Greenway wasn’t going to safe the Raccoons – he struck out. Hooge batted with two outs. He singled to center, with Caskey being waved around third base, stumbling, falling down halfway down the line, and the game ended when Elliott Thompson with the baseball threw himself into the scrambling rookie. 4-3 Indians. Ramos 2-3, BB; Morales 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K;

No word from Dr. Chung on Cosmo Trevino.

But I heard plenty of words from the baseball gods that there’s no point in worrying anymore.

It is what it is.

Game 2
IND: C E. Thompson – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Levis – CF Baron – 2B McKenzie – LF Cassell – SS D. Serrato – P J. Jackson
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Jake Jackson was lost to injury in the second inning without allowing a hit or run, with Cesar Castillo being the first replacement. The left-hander was one of five strikeouts for Fidler the first time through the order. He chalked up eight by the end of the fourth inning… and also a Levis single and Baron homer to fall 2-0 behind. Fidler added two more strikeouts in the fifth inning, then another run in the sixth, with Elliott Thompson legging out a triple for the next unmistakable sign of the apocalypse and that the Raccoons were not going to win this game or the division, ever again.

The Raccoons still had no hits against the combo of Jackson and Castillo, at least until Berto opened the bottom 6th with a double to left-center. He scored on Ledford’s single off Jimmy Lohrey, bringing up Greenway as the tying run, but his fly to right was caught and Manny Fernandez struck out. The tying runs were on in the seventh, with Morales singling and Stedham walking against Manuel Herrera, a righty. Ed Hooge hit for Citriniti in the #9 hole and walloped a home run over the fence in left-center, one of those surprises he was capable of – and that gave Portland a 4-3 lead. Neither me nor Honeypaws had any doubt they’d blow it somehow. The bases loaded facing Mike Hurley, with Berto, Maldo, and Greenway all reaching base, two of them with intentional walks after Berto stole second base. Manny Fernandez cracked a blast to center – GRAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!

Yeah, like they couldn’t blow that one, too… The Raccoons sent Francisco Pena into the eighth inning because they were up by FIVE and could reasonably expect to – well, no. Hutson doubled, Levis with the RBI single, for ****’s sake. Ryan Cassell’s 2-out single off Yeom Soung plated Levis, 8-5, before the inning ended. Somehow Jermaine Campbell could get through the ninth inning without blowing the remaining 3-run lead, but nothing was pretty anymore around here… 8-5 Raccoons. M. Fernandez 1-4, HR, 4 RBI; Hooge (PH) 2-2, HR, 3 RBI; Fidler 6.2 IP, 4 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 10 K;

By Sunday morning, Cosmo Trevino was lost for the season with a mighty sore shoulder. He went back on the DL.

No, Maud, I still don’t want apple pie.

I just want to sleep.

Forever.

Game 3
IND: C E. Thompson – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF A. Torres – CF Baron – 2B McKenzie – 1B Cassell – SS D. Serrato – P J. Robinson
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Hooge – 1B Maruyama – SS Williams – 2B Myers – P Ottinger

Everything was hard off Ottinger on Sunday, with Dan Hutson going yard to put the Indians up 1-0 in the first. It became 2-0 in the third on a Myers throwing error, sailing a ball over Maruyama’s head with Mario Ochoa and Dan Hutson on base and two outs. Baron then chugged a 2-run double, 4-0. Robinson retired ten straight to begin the game, and when Maldonado singled in the bottom 4th he was stranded as well… It took the Raccoons a Chiyosaku Maruyama homer in the bottom 5th to reach the scoreboard, and that was also a solo shot… Further signs of the apocalypse included Ottinger leaving with Cassell and Serrato in scoring position and two outs in the sixth inning, and when David Fernandez came in he gave up – on a 1-2 pitch – a 2-run triple to *Elliott Thompson*. There was no fighting against it anymore. There was just signing up for defeat. And shame. 6-1 Indians.

In other news

September 11 – In a pointless transaction, the Thunder send CL Marcus Goode (8-11, 4.15 ERA, 28 SV) to the Bayhawks for two prospects.
September 12 – LVA OF Mike Hall (.285, 5 HR, 38 RBI) is out for the season with a sprained ankle.

FL Player of the Week: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.278, 22 HR, 94 RBI), hitting .462 (12-26) with 3 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 1B Danny Cruz (.248, 23 HR, 60 RBI), batting .450 (9-20) with 3 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(pushes plate with piece of apple pie and spoon away) No Maud. – No, I won’t eat anymore. – No, Maud.

There is no point in prolonging my suffering anymore.

MIL (90-52) – NYC (4), POR (4), BOS (3), CHA (3), IND (3), SFB (3) – .487 – 86.2% (+9.2%)
VAN (86-55) – BOS (4), IND (4), NYC (4), LVA (3), POR (3), TIJ (3) – .474 – 10.9% (-1.7%)
POR (85-57) – BOS (4), MIL (4), LVA (3), NYC (3), TIJ (3), VAN (3) – .511 – 2.9% (-7.6%)

Fun Fact: Last time the Loggers made the playoffs, the Raccoons disappeared into the rabbit hole for three years.

That was from 2022 through 2024, losing 88 on average.

The good news is that this time around, the Nick Derkses, David Kipples, and “Tragic” Travis Garretts are already here.