[Westheim]

With that, the lean part of the baseball-less time approached, the pre-season in which nothing good ever happened. There was one type A free agent still left over (Joe West), but apart from that the free agent market was largely picked thin. No, it was the time for stupid stories, like who had broken his vertebrae skiing on black slopes, who had lost all their salary investing into some creative hairdresser’s Ponzi scheme, and who was going to quit baseball to preach the evangelion on the Moluccas going forward? The less you heard about your favorite baseball team in February, the better!

We actually poked around for another right-handed relief option in March, but the pitcher in question, an FL veteran, didn’t sign until the end of pre-season.

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February 2 – The Crusaders ink SP Matt Brost (105-74, 3.45 ERA) for 2-yr, $5.84M. The 36-year-old righty was most recently with Boston.
February 3 – Indianapolis adds ex-OCT SP Joe Robinson (72-58, 4.11 ERA) on a 4-yr, $13.68M contract.
February 6 – Done: Blue Sox outfielder Cesar Talabera (.323, 3 HR, 119 RBI) has to retire from baseball at age 26 after re-smashing the same ankle he already broke in the FLCS. We hear he was skiing. In three years in the Bigs, he was an All Star once and won a ring in 2037.
February 12 – Not. Done. Yet. – Due to turn 44 in May, RF Pablo Sanchez (.340, 162 HR, 1,651 RBI) signs a $1.55M contract with the Knights. Sanchez batted for an .888 OPS in ’37, missing a qualifying amount of plate appearance just narrowly.
April 1 – No joke; veteran right-hander SP Pat Okrasinski (128-129, 3.80 ERA, 1 SV) gets a 2-yr, $3.96M contract from the Miners. The 38-year-old was most recently with Salem.

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We don’t feel too bad about Talabera’s misfortunes. One, his team beat us. And two, Cristiano tells me the newest generation of prosthetic limbs has integrated wi-fi, smart speakers and Bluetooth, and you can call a Driver, order from Nom!, livestream games from your FunBox at home, or upload stories to Gobble wherever you go with them. I understood not a single word in that last sentence, and I will now call my psychiatrist, Dr. Zwiebelkopf, for an evaluation on whether I am insane or everybody else in here! (sits down and starts to dial on his antique rotary phone)

And former Raccoons? Rin Nomura joined the Wolves for $402k; Bob Zeltser went back to the Blue Sox for $1.46M; the Bayhawks got Juan Camps for $452k;

(still dialing)