[Westheim]

2037 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (93-69) @ San Francisco Bayhawks (90-72)

A kingdom for a pitcher that can get anybody out! We’d try Ottie in Game 3. Sabre was lined up for Game 4. Bernie had not pitched in a way that made us think starting him three times in the series was going to bring much success our way…

Game 3 – Jared Ottinger (11-11, 3.62 ERA) vs. Ben Lipsky (13-10, 3.11 ERA)

The Raccoons stuck to the same lineup, which made sense given that outside of Ed Hooge our bench was mostly warm bodies to make sure nobody would abduct the snacks from the dugout when nobody was in there…

Oh well, at least I was far away from Nick Valdes for a few days.

All relievers were available after the off day, even Travis Sims, the dismal tosser.

POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Ottinger
SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P Lipsky

Lipsky walked Garcia and Manny in the top of the first, but neither of our 4-5 hitters could shove a ball through the infield and the runners were stranded. Ottie retired the first five in a row before Da singled through Maldonado and Coca hit a terrible blooper to shallow right that Greenway caught while taking a tumble on the field, but he held on to the ball and the inning ended.

The Raccoons had only one hit the first time through, a Vickers single, while Lipsky would rip a double off Ottie in the third inning, but couldn’t get a helping claw from the rest of the lineup. While the Raccoons’ offense remained morose, with a Fowler single in the fourth being another early highlight, even though it led nowhere, the Bayhawks put Hurtado and McGrath on base with soft singles leading off the bottom 4th. Sanchez grounded out, advancing the runners, and Fowler caught a soft Da fly, but couldn’t throw out Hurtado at home plate, and thus the Raccoons trailed again. Coca popped out to strand McGrath in scoring position.

Berto hit a single in the fifth and was picked off to end the inning, which was also not quite how we wrote it up in the playbook. Also not accounted for – Ottinger coming apart ENTIRELY in the bottom 5th. He walked Lipsky (…), threw a wild pitch, allowed an RBI double to Balderrama, and then walked the bases full before being yanked. Citriniti came in, struck out McGrath, then yielded for David Fernandez, who walked Sanchez in a full count, giving the Baybirds a third run before Da hacked himself out.

Nothing good EVER happened to the Raccoons at the ****ing Bay.

Top 6th, leadoff walk to Garcia. Fernandez singled to left, putting the tying run in the box, in this case Greenway, who was 0-for-9 with 2 RBI in the series. Well, ain’t gonna get a ribbie without a hit here, sunshine! – … except that a wild pitch advanced the runners, and Lipsky ultimately walked the batter to load the bases with nobody out (uh-oh) for Fowler, who fell to 0-2, then did meet a ball, but lined out to Hurtado, and the Bayhawks almost doubled off a scrambling Fernandez, who BARELY got the paw back into second base. One run scored on Stedham’s grounder, but when Vickers also grounded out, the inning ended.

San Francisco appeared to put the game away in the bottom of the inning, which saw David Fernandez face right-handed batters, walk Tony Coca, and getting obliterated with an Umanzor homer, 5-1. Balderrama tripled off Barker and scored on a groundout, adding another run the Baybirds didn’t need. Or so you’d think. Lipsky allowed Maldonado and Brito on base to begin the seventh, and while Berto flew out to left, Garcia flew out OF left, hitting a 3-piece that brought the Coons back to within a pair. While the Birds scrambled for a replacement, Fernandez hit a ground-rule double before Jose Lerma, a southpaw and former starter, could be brought in. He grounded out Greenway, then balked in Manny to narrow the gap to 6-5. Fowler struck out, ending the inning.

Come the eighth, Ed Hooge hit for Barker and singled, putting the tying run on base with one out against Jose Moreno. Maldonado was next and hit an 0-1 pitch into the gap, and neither Balderrama nor Coca were going to get there. Extra-bases, Hooge was sent around drawing a throw – SAFE! Tied ballgame! Six-each, and the go-ahead run at second base with one out! Unfortunately both Brito and Berto flew out, failing to score that run…

After Prieto dismissed the bottom of the order without issues in the eighth, the Raccoons faced Kinner in the ninth. Garcia drew the leadoff walk, and Jeff Kilmer ran for him, having non-trivial speed. A hit-and-run saw Manny grounding to Mike Moran at first base, who looked up to see whether Kilmer was gonna make it, then lost track in the ball until it hit him in the guts. He was given a painful error, and the Coons had first and second and nobody out for Greenway, STILL hitless. Kinner, showing nerves, walked the slugger in a full count, and now the bags were full, nobody out, and Fowler at the plate. He HAD to get a run in, that’s what he was being paid millions for!! And he … kinda did and didn’t. He didn’t get an RBI. But Kinner, in a full count, sweating like a pig, twitched with his leg while on the rubber, and immediately was called out for it; “BALK!!” the home plate ump yelled while stepping out from behind Umanzor, sparking a major murmur in the ballpark. Kilmer jogged home, 7-6, and Kinner snapped a few remarks at the ump before being counseled by the pitching coach and manager. He got a comebacker from Fowler on the next pitch, keeping the runners pinned, but Stedham hit away at the very first pitch, shot it into centerfield, and two runs scored!!

(jumps up and down screaming like a moron GGNNGG-HHHNN-PORTLAAAAAAAAND!!!

Nickas and Maldonado made outs to end the top 9th, with Soung getting the 1-2-3 batters for the bottom 9th with a 3-run lead. Balderrama singled. Greer singled, runner to third. NOOOO. Then came the array of switch-hitters, which had replaced defensively wonky and/or retirement-age players. Castillo popped out. Moran hit an RBI single. Jaden Pridgeon hit a 1-2 looper to shallow left with Manny racing in and making a ****ing shoestring catch …! Two outs, Sonny Deming, a right-hander, at the plate. Technically, the Raccoons had seen enough of Soung now, but the only righty arm in the pen was Sims, and … no. Deming shot a single up the middle, plating another run. What the actual heck, SOUNG!!!! Tony Coca was surely gonna kill them, wasn’t he? He was in the box with two outs, tying run on second, winning run on first. The Raccoons COULD NOT bring any other pitcher except maybe Garavito. No, it was Soung against Coca. First pitch, slapped up the middle, Berto rushing over, picking the ball on his side of second base, beating Deming by two strides, and this ballgame ended with me sweat-soaked and stinking, but screaming and bliss.

Raccoons 9, Bayhawks 8 – Raccoons lead series 2-1

Garcia 1-2, 3 BB, HR, 3 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2B; Hooge 1-1;

OH BOY.

Can we get ANY starter to log an out in the sixth, though? Weeks can’t replace all o’ them!

Game 4 – Raffaello Sabre (11-8, 4.08 ERA) vs. Lorenzo Viamontes (16-9, 3.21 ERA)

Not a pitching matchup in our favor… at least the Raccoons had once bonked Viamontes for six runs this year, so maybe we could actually take an early lead and somehow hold it…?

POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Sabre
SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P Viamontes

That would be a firm NO. Sabre retired the Bayhawks in order in the first, and in the second put McGrath on with a single and gave up bombs to both Pablo Sanchez and Eduardo Umanzor, plummeting into a 3-0 hole, and I wished I could just plummet into the goddamn Bay next to the ballpark and be done with it all…

Fernando Garcia continued his single-pawed quest to keep the Raccoons in the games with a solo homer in the third, narrowing the gap to 3-1, but Sabre kept getting waffled with two outs in the bottom 3rd. Hurtado hit an infield single, he walked McGrath, and then gave up an RBI single to the sport’s most annoying pensioner. Da would pop out to Fowler in shallow center to strand two in the 4-1 game.

96 pitches carried Sabre through precisely five innings, tying Bernie Chavez’ team-best result from Game 1, which was just not a sustainable quality of starting pitching. They were going to get an extremely productive offense ****ing killed by being collectively horse ****. Top 6th, Greenway finally broke into the H column with a leadoff double to right-center. Fowler singled, and the tying run came to the plate with Critters on the corners. Stedham was batting a steady .143 in the CLCS, but drew a walk, loading the bags for Vickers, who could pick this moment for one of his more marvelous upset grand slams, but settled for an RBI single past Hurtado in a 2-0 count, which was FINE… at least he kept the line moving, and got the Bayhawks’ pen stirring. Maldonado though hit into a double play, run-scoring as it was, that was more horse ****. Sit over there by the pitchers, you fool!!

Bizarrely, the tying run scored on a passed ball as a very sloppily played CLCS sought new climaxes. Preston Pinkerton, batting for Sabre, singled anyway, but Berto grounded out.

The Raccoons were about to run out of right-handed relief pitching; with the 6-7-8 batters up, they HAD to get a clean inning from Sims. If not the 6-7-8, who then?? A K and two groundouts indeed got him through those three batters, and the score remained tied at four at the end of six.

Portland got 2-out singles from Greenway and Fowler in the seventh, but Stedham grounded out, while at the same time we got a bit carried away. Sims struck out Viamontes to begin the bottom 7th, and then we just left him in now that he had found his groove. A strikeout to Balderrama, and then Greer hit a 2-2 fly to deep center and scared the living crap out of me, but Fowler got back there and made the catch.

The offense remained unproductive after tying the score, while the Raccoons tried to cheat their way through the bullpen, which sooner or later ended with a big knell. That knell was Tony Coca, the ****ing ex-Elk, finding McGrath (Garavito’s runner) and Da on the corners with two outs, and blasting Dennis Citriniti all the way back to Sioux Falls with a 3-run homer. All the Raccoons could muster in response was a Manny Fernandez homer with two outs off Kinner, but nobody else reached base and they lost, excoriatingly, despite out-hitting the Baybirds 12-8.

Bayhawks 7, Raccoons 5 – series tied at two

Greenway 2-5, 2B; Fowler 2-4; Vickers 2-4, RBI; Maldonado 2-4; Pinkerton (PH) 1-1; Sims 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

At this point, the Raccoons had NINE pitchers with an ERA of six or well above. The only exceptions were Weeks (1 IP, 0 R), Barker (3.2 IP, 1 R), and Prieto (1.2 IP, 0 R). Everybody else was getting hammered.

I called Maud at night, discussing a thing or two for Game 6 and (maybe) 7 arrangements in Portland, and when she asked me whether I wanted anything else, I glumly replied that I really wished I had some weights to chain to my ankles…

Game 5 – Bernie Chavez (13-10, 3.38 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (14-14, 3.53 ERA)

Bernie. Please.

POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 3B Maldonado – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Chavez
SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P G. Rendon

Leadoff hits on either side went unused in the early innings, with Balderrama in the first, Greenway in the second, and Stedham in the third getting on base to start an inning, and being left on, yes, ignored entirely by their teams. Greenway even hit a leadoff double – to no avail. He also walked with one out in the fourth his next time up, but Fowler struck out and Maldonado grounded out.

Bernie’s leadoff walk issued to Hurtado in the bottom 4th made me feel queasy. While McGrath struck out, ancient curse Pablo Sanchez singled to left, and the Baybirds starting to close in and look for a place to drive their claws into, but Greenway showed hustle to catch a Da fly that was right over the rightfield line and could have dropped either way, and Coca went down on strikes for a change.

Stedham drew a walk in the fifth and was caught stealing, which also did not further our ambitions to go back to Portland up 3-2. However – Bernie shut out the Birds on three hits through five innings, so at least we’d get our starter into the sixth inning, FINALLY. Unfortunately, both offenses had died at the same time, and the Raccoons just couldn’t get anything off Rendon. And then the bottom 6th began with a Hurtado double up the rightfield line, and I feared the absolute worst, which of course happened – Kevin McGrath homered to left, and the Raccoons were in a hole. Again.

Ed Hooge batted for Bernie in the seventh in a must-hit situation, with Maldonado (single) and Stedham (2-out single) on base, and they were the tying runs. And the 1-1 pitch was hit to right, over Sanchez’ head, and HE ****ING DID IT!! Maldonado in to score, Stedham in to score, tied ballgame on Hooge’s double!! Jose Lerma replaced Rendon at once, but gave up another double to right to Ramos, that one scoring Hooge for a 3-2 lead …!

Garcia grounded out, and then Derek Barker came in to pitch in the #5 hole, with Fowler replaced for D. Balderrama’s solo homer tied the game, making the point moot.

Against Lerma, Fernandez and Greenway set up camp on the corners with a ball to the thigh that saw Manny hobble to first, but he was good enough to sprint to third base on his fellow outfielder’s single. Now having Fowler batting next would have been great, but alas, we had to send Preston Pinkerton to bat for Barker, who had just given us the 3-3 tie in the eighth. Pinks walked, setting a dreaded three on, no outs situation with Maldonado at the plate. His clip was up to .333/.368/.389 in the series, and he sniffed a chance to get a spot on next year’s roster and pushed a ball through the middle for an RBI single! Vickers hit a sac fly (on a 3-1 pitch…), while Stedham hit into a fielder’s choice, and Hooge whiffed.

The Raccoons sent Prieto into the bottom 8th, maybe, if he could be so kind, protecting the 5-3 lead. Pablo Sanchez and Alex Castillo reached the corners with a pair of 1-out singles, and the agony wasn’t going to end any time soon, was it? Coca struck out, bringing up San Fran’s own unexpected .333 hitter, Umanzor. Prieto assured everybody he had this, then walked him. Deming was in the #9 hole, but what now? Who to send?? The Raccoons rolled the worst die. With three on, two outs, Game 5 on the line, they brought David Fernandez against a right-handed batter. It worked as well as anticipated – he walked Deming, then gave up an RBI single to Balderrama, batting a ****ing .429; that tied the game. Greer popped out, stranding three, and while Berto reached base in the ninth, he was also caught stealing.

Out of idea, entirely, the Raccoons sent Bryce Sparkes into the bottom 9th – Weeks would be assigned the Game 6 start, unless the Bayhawks could find a way to walk off that would count for two, but for now they were retired in order. Coca singled off Sparkes in the 10th, but was doubled up.

While the Raccoons’ lineup refused to make an effort for another lead that would then invariably be blown, Sparkes worked his way around Balderrama’s 96th single in the series to keep the Raccoons in the game through 11 innings. Jeff Kilmer batted for him in the 12th with Fernandez on first base and two outs, facing the lefty Rodarte. Barely a chance, but the best the team could do right now. Kilmer flew out to right. Mauricio Garavito’s quick 12th ensured more agony in Game 5.

Jose Moreno pitched for San Fran in the 13th. Maldonado flew out easily, but Vickers dinked in a ball for a single. Stedham was next and ripped a ball up the rightfield line, and that was the perfect place to hit one, because Sanchez was still out there, still 43, and while he had decent range and a strong arm still, his movement was based on momentum – he didn’t easily reverse course. When Stedham’s ball passed between McGrath and the bag, its next bounce was right on the seam between grass and dirt, and the ball changed course slightly into foul territory, then caromed sharply off the edge of the stands that were jutting out towards the line. That one did Sanchez in – the ball shot by him, into the depths of right-center, the old man fell, and Tony Coca (a comparatively young and juicy 37) had to collect the ball. Stedham rushed all the way to third base with an RBI triple, and the tie was broken!! Hooge added an RBI single, and Berto also singled, but easy flies by Garcia and Fernandez kept anybody from scoring.

Bottom 13th, well past midnight on the East Coast. Yeom Soung against the 7-8-9. Coca grounded out to Nickas, having replaced Berto for D. Umanzor… grounded out to Nickas as well. Deming … singled to left. Oh for ****’s sake, Balderrama was back with his 1.207 OPS. And Yeom Soung sawed him apart in a 9-pitch battle with a full count, clinching this insane (and sometimes inane) game.

Raccoons 7, Bayhawks 5 (13) – Raccoons lead series 3-2

Ramos 2-6, BB, 2B, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-6; Greenway 2-5, BB, 2B; Maldonado 2-6, RBI; Stedham 3-5, BB, 3B, RBI; Hooge (PH) 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; Chavez 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K; Sparkes 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K and 1-1;

Anybody else finding it hard to breath?

No, you all have your paws alternating between your food bowls and your stuffed cheeks pretty well…