[Westheim]

Raccoons (8-10) @ Bayhawks (14-5) – April 28-30, 2037

First in runs allowed with 2.7 per game, the Bayhawks presented a plus-sized problem for the Raccoons as the latter tried to even reach .500 again. On top of that, San Francisco was also second in runs scored, which was another one of those problems for Portland… The Raccoons had won the season series, 5-4, two years in a row, but no such thing was on the horizon right now…

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (0-1, 3.38 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (2-2, 4.44 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (1-2, 4.30 ERA) vs. Josh Long (2-1, 3.70 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (3-1, 1.82 ERA) vs. Jose Lerma (3-0, 1.61 ERA)

Right, right, left, and probably another round of no runs for Portland…

“Cosmo” Trevino was still day-to-day and not available for the starting lineup, while Raffaello Sabre had suffered a setback and would take until next week at least to return to the team.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Myers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – C Morales – LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – P Ottinger
SFB: LF Balderrama – 2B M. Hurtado – RF P. Sanchez – 1B McGrath – 3B Greer – SS A. Castillo – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P G. Rendon

Two walks (Mario Hurtado, Pablo Sanchez), two stolen bases (the same), and one sac fly (Kevin McGrath) put the Bayhawks 1-0 ahead in the first inning, and that was probably as usual going to be IT. Indeed, it came as a surprise when the Raccoons not only tied the game on a Stedham home run in the second inning, but took the lead in the third, an inning opened with singles by Ottinger and Berto, with Dave Myers hitting the sac fly to go up 2-1… and then of course Berto was left stranded on second base… Bayhawks traffic on base was consistent and heavy, but they stranded a pair in the bottom 2nd, then twice hit into inning-ending 5-4-3 double plays with nifty grips by Dave Myers in the third and fourth innings. Berto hit a bloop single in the fifth, stole second base, and was duly stranded, but tack-on runs came in the sixth, where Stedham drew a 1-out walk, then made second base on Tony Morales’ grounder. Ed Hooge reached the .200 mark (huzzah!) with a double to center, scoring Stedham, 3-1. Rich Vickers was walked intentionally to get to Ottinger, who dropped a looper behind Alex Castillo for a 2-out single. Edgado Balderrama overran the ball to give Hooge that little extra something to score from second base, and the other runners also gained an extra base, but Berto flew out to Pablo Sanchez, who, fun fact, had married his wife six weeks before Tony Morales had been born in 2014, and at age 42 was still batting over .300 …!

Ottinger grinded his way through six innings, and it was quite the chewy experience, but he held on to the 4-1 lead. Myers then opened the seventh with a double to left, maybe tacking on a run down the road, but definitely knocking out ex-Coon Rendon, with left-hander Jesus Rodarte taking over. Manny Fernandez slapped a single up the middle against Rodarte, Myers came around to score, 5-1, and that was 10 RBI for Manny, the first Raccoon to reach that lofty mark in ’37… That was also the only run for Portland in the inning despite loading the bases with walks. Maldonado, hitting for Hooge, flew out to too-shallow left, and Vickers lined out to Marshall Greer to strand a full set. Berto tripled in the top 8th, however, and was plated by a Fernandez sac fly (11!) to scratch out another run. The back end of the Bayhawks pen then issued free walks in the ninth inning, with Steve Nickas hitting a sac fly from the #9 spot for a run that made up for PH Edwin Rendon’s homer off David Fernandez in the bottom 8th. 7-2 Raccoons. Ramos 3-5, 3B; Stedham 1-2, BB, HR, RBI;

The Raccoons drew ten walks in the game, which was uncharacteristic, but we scanned all their ear chips and they indeed were our players…!

Trevino reported back healthy on Wednesday, so that might give additional life to the lineup!

Game 2
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – SS Ramos – C Morales – RF Cronk – P Chavez
SFB: LF Balderrama – 2B M. Hurtado – RF P. Sanchez – 1B McGrath – 3B Greer – SS A. Castillo – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P Long

Superficially, the middle game saw a pitchers’ duel, but underneath the surface the defense did quite some heavy lifting. Both hurlers were unscored upon through four innings, both had scattered three base hits, and only Bernie Chavez had whiffed a batter; two actually, including Long, and he had bunted foul on 1-2. Josh Long hadn’t struck out anybody, although that changed when Bernie came back to bat in the top 5th and was rung up. Bottom 5th, Bernie came apart with a leadoff single by lifelong pest Tony Coca, then issued a walk to Eduardo Umanzor. Long got the bunt down this time, and Balderrama singled to center to plate the first run of the game. Mario Hurtado, carved from the same wood as Coca, hit another RBI single to left, and then Pablo Sanchez hit a 3-run bomb to right, burying the Raccoons five deep.

Only now did the brown-dressed team wake up from five innings’ worth of slumber. Myers opened the sixth with a double to left before Fowler hit a 2-run homer. Stedham and Ramos slapped singles off Long, bringing up the tying run in Tony Morales, who dutifully hit into an inning-curtailing double play. The Raccoons instead got blown out for good the next inning, in which the Baybirds put up another 5-spot on ****ty pitching by Seth Green and Antonio Prieto, a very untimely Stedham error, and a 2-run homer by Tony Coca. The two runs on Prieto and one run on Green were unearned, which didn’t exactly make the experience any nicer. Top 8th, Fowler legged out a 1-out grounder for an infield single. The Raccoons started to accumulate on base against Long, who was yanked after also putting Maldonado and Ramos on, Berto singling in Fowler, 10-3, with replacement Eric Fox retiring PH Jeff Kilmer, but walking the next pinch-hitter, Preston Pinkerton. Vickers batted for Prieto with three on and two outs, but flew out to Sanchez on the first pitch. Instead Mauricio Garavito cocked up another two runs in the bottom of the eighth, basically not retiring anybody. Unfortunately, Pablo Sanchez sprained his knee on a double in that inning, and would be heading to the DL to heal up. Manny Fernandez hit a worthless 2-run homer off Matt Diduch in the ninth. Taking two runs off the deficit didn’t make the game any less of a rout. 12-5 Bayhawks. Myers 2-5, 2B; M. Fernandez 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Fowler 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Ramos 3-4, RBI;

Having an DL to go on is still better than being stuck with this team. There’s no cure for THIS TEAM.

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Maldonado – SS Ramos – C Kilmer – RF Pinkerton – P Sparkes
SFB: LF Balderrama – C Umanzor – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – 3B Greer – SS A. Castillo – CF Coca – RF Roybal – P Lerma

This game also started with no runs in the early innings, but the pitchers were a bit livelier, with four strikeouts for Sparkes and three for Lerma in the early going. This time the Coons broke the ice with a Justin Fowler homer to leftfield, taking a 1-0 lead in the fourth. Marshall Greer almost reversed that move in the bottom of the inning, but was caught by Manny on the warning track.

Sparkes struck out seven through five innings, but then still hung a ball to Balderrama that was hit over the fence in leftfield to tie the game after all. When Sparkes was done after seven innings, having held the Baybirds to four hits against nine strikeouts on exactly a hundred pitches, the Raccoons were still looking for their first hit since the Fowler homer in the fourth… Sparkes would not get offensive relief in the top 8th, either, with Pinkerton whiffing, Stedham flying out to center, and Trevino flying out rather easily to right. The game would go on this dreadfully into extra innings – always good with a cross-country flight waiting impatiently at the airport – with the Bayhawks stranding the winning run on third base against Chris Wise, who gave up a leadoff double to Greer in the bottom 9th, and David Fernandez. The tie wasn’t broken until the 10th inning, where the Raccoons got their first base knock since the Fowler homer – a Jeff Kilmer homer to left-center with two outs and absolutely nobody on base! Tragically, Yeom Soung failed to hold on in the bottom 10th, conceding the tying run on a disputed full-count walk to Balderrama where he was almost tossed for staring down the home plate umpire for three-and-a-half minutes, with he runner scoring from second base on a ****ty float single by Hurtado that Pinkerton trapped, but couldn’t catch. The Raccoons’ offense remained absent (partially because Fowler and Ramos had been removed for defense in form of Hooge and Nickas), and Dusty Kulp retired nobody in his second inning of work in the 12th. Tony Salinas doubled, Balderrama singled, and Umanzor also singled to end the game. 3-2 Bayhawks. Kilmer 2-4, HR, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1;

One walk, a dozen strikeouts. Yeah, those are ours after all……

Raccoons (9-12) @ Titans (11-11) – May 1-3, 2037

This series would probably end our season before it had ever begun. ****ty batting, ****ty pitching, ****ty defense, ****ty luck – and NOW the Titans on top of it all. Goodness gracious. Not that all was well in Boston – but their den of horrors was well known as a Raccoons graveyard, much like our own ballpark whenever the stinkin’ Elks came to town. Boston was ninth in runs scored, fourth in runs allowed, with a -2 run differential, and had a strong rotation routinely unhorsed by a porous bullpen. Not that the Raccoons would ever see that bullpen… Boston had a 2-1 lead in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Josh Weeks (2-1, 1.55 ERA) vs. Tony Chavez (1-1, 2.87 ERA)
Gene Tennis (0-0) vs. Mario Gonzalez (1-1, 1.74 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (1-1, 2.92 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (1-2, 2.91 ERA)

Another two left-handed starters before we’d get a righty on Sunday.

Portland sent Cory Cronk back to AAA. He had drawn four walks, but had never landed a base hit, and now we needed the additional starting pitcher on the roster. This would be the return of Gene Tennis, who had been torn several new ones in AAA so far, going 0-3 with a 12.41 ERA and more walks than strikeouts, so he surely had a paw in that record. He was however the only pitcher available that we’d even dare to call up… Last year he had been 3-2 with a 2.73 ERA in Portland before heading to the DL.

Game 1
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – 1B Maldonado – CF Fowler – C Morales – RF Pinkerton – LF Hooge – SS Nickas – P Weeks
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – C J. Herrera – 1B B. Moore – LF Hawthorne – 2B Hansen – CF Olszewski – P T. Chavez

Trevino opened with a single, scored on a Fowler double over the head of Drew Olszewski, and then we sat down and nervously twiddled our thumbs to wait for the big counter-knell. Antonio Gil hit a double to right to begin the bottom 1st, but was stranded with three unhelpful outs after that. Bill Moore led off the bottom 2nd with a single, but also never advanced another base as Josh Weeks was digging in his heels but still gave up a home run to Moore the next time round, tying the score at one with two outs in the bottom 4th…

The game remained tied for a bit, with Weeks holding the Titans to four hits in six innings. Tony Chavez however did not allow a base hit at all to the ramshackle Raccoons lineup after the Fowler RBI double in the first inning, all the way up until Tony Morales singled up the middle with one out in the top 7th. (SIGH) … Pinkerton struck out, Hooge struck out, nothing happened. Again. In turn, John Hansen hit a 1-out double in the bottom of the inning, and while Ivan Vega was no help and grounded out in Olszewski’s place, Tony Chavez flicked a bloop single over Trevino’s glove to un-tie the game and put the Titans ahead, 2-1. Antonio Gil grounded out after that, sending the game to the eighth, in which Ramos, Vickers, and Trevino went down in order with three ****ing lazy grounders. The Titans instead hit three singles off Prieto for an insurance run in their half of the eighth, George Hawthorne plating Moises Avila with two outs. Dave Myers legged out an infield single to begin the ninth against left-hander Wyatt Hamill, which invited Manny Fernandez to pinch-hit for Maldonado, but he hit into a fielder’s choice. At least he put the ball in play. Fowler struck out. Morales struck out. 3-1 Titans. Weeks 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, L (2-2);

Four hits, no walks, 10 strikeouts. ****ing embarrassing.

Game 2
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – RF Maldonado – SS Ramos – C Kilmer – P Tennis
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – C J. Herrera – 1B B. Moore – LF Hawthorne – 2B Hansen – CF Olszewski – P M. Gonzalez

Much like on Thursday, the game was scoreless through three innings of witless flailing before Justin Fowler shut out the cork with a homer to right, tying him with Manny Fernandez for the team lead in both homers (5, which was decent enough) and RBI (13, which was not). And applause to Gene Tennis, who allowed two hits and struck out four through the first four innings, but then was invariably and unavoidably chopped up in the bottom 5th. John Hansen and Drew Olszewski hit singles, were bunted into scoring position, and of course Antonio Gil would hit a double up the leftfield line to flip the score, 2-1. Tennis walked Adam Corder, Moises Avila hit an RBI single, and the game was about over despite Juan Herrera grounding out to Myers.

Token resistance was offered in the top 6th, where the tying runs were on base with one out after singles by Myers and Fowler. Stedham grounded past the first base side of the mound, a ball which the left-handed Gonzalez couldn’t reach, falling the other way, and John Hansen was too slow hustling in – Stedham reached with a scratch infield single, and now the bases were even loaded for all .224 of Jesus Maldonado, who popped out in foul ground before Berto popped out in fair ground. There would be another chance in the top 8th, with Myers opening with another single, knocking out Gonzalez in the process. Mike Hugh replaced him, but gave up a single to Fernandez, bringing up the lukewarm Fowler with the tying runs aboard. He struck out, of course, before Stedham walked. The misery seemed to repeat itself with Maldonado back at the plate, but the difference was in the pitcher, who was now a right-hander, and the Raccoons sent Tony Morales to bat instead. He of course struck out, Ramos grounded out to second, and another full set of runners was stranded. When Seth Green shoved the bases full in the bottom 8th, the Titans of course had no trouble to get a run with a Hansen sac fly… 4-1 Titans. Myers 2-4, BB; Fowler 2-4, HR, RBI; Kilmer 2-4;

There are no words.

None.

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – SS Ramos – C Morales – LF Hooge – P Ottinger
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 2B Hansen – 1B Olszewski – LF I. Vega – P Willett

Willett came out stumbling, retiring Trevino before putting a string of Coons on base, and those Coons even scored a few ****ing runs. Myers singled, Manny doubled, and Fowler cashed two with a single to right-center. Stedham singled, Berto walked, putting three on for the frightening .208 appearance of Tony Morales, who had but one RBI to his name in ’37, and almost hit into a double play on 3-1, but the Titans’ plans were foiled when John Hansen had a slight bobble and then decided he wouldn’t get Berto at second base anymore. Only Morales was out, while Fowler scored. Hooge then lined out to Hansen to strand two in a 3-0 game. Not that it was 3-0 for long – the Titans didn’t even make an out before scoring off Ottinger, who stupidly walked Gil on four pitches and melted from there with Corder and Avila singles before the defense made a few plays behind him…

“Ottie” hit a leadoff single in the top 2nd, which as usual led nowhere, but Stedham and Berto hit leadoff singles in the third and got to the corners. Morales was in a 2-2 count when he hit a foul pop to left, with Ivan Vega coming along, overrunning the ball, and then having it hit off his glove while trying to reverse without getting hit in the nose. Morales used that lucky break to hit into a double play on the next pitch, but Stedham scored, so huzzah, we were lucky winners, and up 4-1. Before long, rain became an issue, but that was with the fifth inning in the books and the Raccoons still ahead by that score. We’d take the rain-shortened W in a heartbeat, but we got only a half hour delay in the middle of the sixth, and that didn’t help us a lick. While Ottinger resumed pitching after the delay, his locations were now well off and we only got two outs out of him before moving to David Fernandez, who rung up Olszewski with a guy on base. Boston removed Willett right away, with Mike Hugh dazzling the Critters again, while the bottom 7th saw Fernandez and Prieto each issue a walk before Myers got paws on a sharp bouncer by Avila to end the inning. Portland got more breathing space with Justin Fowler’s solo homer in the eighth, going up 5-1, and Yeom Soung walked Juan Camps and Antonio Gil with two outs in the ninth in a non-save situation, creating one in the process, but stayed in and got a fly from Corder to end the game after all. 5-1 Raccoons. M. Fernandez 2-4, 2B; Fowler 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Stedham 2-4; Ottinger 5.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, W (2-1) and 1-2;

In other news

April 29 – WAS SP Greg Fischer (3-0, 1.35 ERA) spins a 2-hitter in a 4-0 win over the Warriors. Fischer, 30, is playing in only his second full season in the major leagues, and only got his seventh career start.
April 29 – Las Vegas’ John Marz (.349, 4 HR, 28 RBI) has three hits, a home run, and 5 RBI in a 15-3 slapdown of the Loggers.
May 1 – The Miners are shut out on three hits by NAS SP Doug Clifford (3-2, 4.38 ERA), who strikes out seven in his complete-game effort. Pittsburgh on top of all loses Omar Lastrade (.297, 1 HR, 9 RBI) to a broken finger, which will cost the 31-year-old a month on the DL.
May 2 – The hitting streak of WAS 1B Adam Avakian (.322, 3 HR, 13 RBI) ends at 24 games with an 0-for-3 day in the Caps’ 4-1 loss to the Buffaloes.
May 2 – IND 2B Dan Schneller (.311, 3 HR, 11 RBI) drives in five runs on three hits in an 11-2 whooping for the Crusaders.
May 3 – LVA CL Steve Bass (0-1, 2.77 ERA, 6 SV) is out for the season with a torn rotator cuff.

FL Player of the Week: SAL C Morgan Kuhlmann (.350, 8 HR, 25 RBI), hitting .474 (9-19), 2 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: LVA RF/1B/LF John Marz (.376, 6 HR, 35 RBI), swatting .542 (13-24), 3 HR, 12 RBI

FL Batter of the Month: SAL C Morgan Kuhlmann (.333, 7 HR, 20 RBI)
CL Batter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.357, 5 HR, 22 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP David Elliott (4-0, 1.93 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL CL Robbie Peel (3-0, 0.00 ERA, 5 SV)
FL Rookie of the Month: LAP C Robbie Sailas (.286, 3 HR, 7 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: NYC SP/MR Jeff Turi (2-0, 2.57 ERA)

Complaints and stuff

Still waiting for a winning week. Or basic decency out of the miserable lineup. The Raccoons a) suck, and b) have scored 31 of their league-worst 72 runs on home runs. That is literally all they’re doing. Besides the sucking part. If you remove home runs, it takes them more than five innings to manufacture a single measly run…

I am still wondering where we erred in roster construction. I was wondering the three leadoff batters would get into each other’s fur, but only two of them are reaching base to begin with. Berto’s BABIP is .216, though, and that sort of thing sorted itself out for a batting title once before…

…and speaking of leadoff batters; Cosmo was hitting .397 when he got hurt, then even went 2-for-2 as pinch-hitter while day-to-day. Since returning to the lineup he’s hitting .087/.125/.130 … Might be hard to trade that one with his contract and all once we’re 25 games behind the silly Indians in July.

Is there a worse fate than being named Opening Day starter for the Raccoons? Seems like whoever the poor sod is that gets thrown out there on Day One, he’ll have the most horrendous season.

Fun Fact: May 3 is the anniversary of two happy events in Raccoons lore, Juan Berrios’ no-hitter against the Loggers in 1977, and Adrian Quebell’s cycle in Vancouver in 2009.

The Raccoons scored 12 runs in both those games.

I mean, in each of them.

Individually.

Just so you understand. They scored 12 in the no-hitter, and another 12 wholly different runs in the cycle game.

So it’s 24 in all.

12 and 12.

In two games.