Miami United (14-17, .452, 5th NL East) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (17-14, .548, 2nd NL East)
If I was given a pen and a piece of graph-lined notebook paper, told to put together a list of all the things I was looking forward to doing in town during my upcoming visit to Steel City, I’d be hard-pressed to come up with enough responses to get the ink to roll off the tungsten carbide ball smoothly. This is not to say that Pittsburgh isn’t a cool town – it certainly can be that – but, as a baseball man, coming to play against
Tom Franzone (.286/10/25) and
Remildo Puente (.341/10/26), is hardly something to celebrate. Scary dudes – a couple of toughs, LaRocca enforcers who grew up on the other side of the tracks from Mr. Rogers's neighborhood… there will be no beautiful days at the park when these two ruffians are in attendance. On the whole, in aggregate, or whatever – their form is, currently, as poor as ours… actually worse as they’ve gone 4-6 to our 5-5 over their last 10. That’s a problematic statistic though – our operating principle so far in 2080 is like that of a character actor. We exist to fill in the gaps, to add necessary color to the scene, and, ultimately, to make you look good. Pittsburgh will show up crisp – with pressed slacks and impeccably parted hair, primed for posterity at the opportunity of a professionally shot family photo we represent… these pink tops, man, they make everybody look good.
Oh, almost forgot, OH HONG is back, he’s primed, and ready to wreck things.
32 of 162: Harvey Allen (1-1, 3.79) @ Beau Skrivan (2-1, 5.60)
Loss, 10-4.
Harvey fell for the oldest trick in the book – a protection racket that resulted in Pittsburgh extorting him for 10 early runs…
OH HONG looked rusty, 0 for 4 & 2 Ks,
Hamza managed to drive two runners in on a HR but also committed two costly errors. In fact – 5 of
Harvey’s 6 runs were unearned. They belong to
Hamza whose affiliation with the
La Cosa Nostra will be the subject of our next internal review.
Elsewhere: Don’t look now, but the San Francisco Seals, fresh off a 10-game winning streak, now have the best record in the Majors. I’m not sure what kind of witchcraft mathematics their front office used to construct this lineup – some hybrid of archaic algebraic expressions coupled designed to cast out demons in the hopes of discovering light. This won’t last – it can’t – teams are actively working through the problem, step-by-step, to identify their mistakes, exploit them, and profit. It is interesting though – when a club manages to rise this far above their station it forces the rest of us to take stock in what we know and to question whether we know anything at all. In other news,
SP Nick Espinal (HAV), our top pitching prospect, pitched a complete-game, 1-hitter in a 1-0 loss against the Gwinnett Stripers – it seems that committing the most heinous of fielding flubs at the most inopportune of moments is in our DNA. And, to be filed under ‘unusual’: Washington’s
SP Hipolito Berry pitched a 13-INNING, 2-hitter with 12 Ks in a 1-0 win over the Duke Blue Devils. That’s how you destroy someone’s future – not cool U-DUB pitching coach,
not cool.
33 of 162: Cullen Craig (1-1, 5.09) @ PJ Edmonds (3-3, 4.08)
Loss, 11-3. Pittsburgh scored
TEN RUNS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE 4TH.
Anaconda hit 2 dingers. That is all.
34 of 162: Radoslav Borovsky (3-2, 2.90) @ Kurt Miller (1-3, 7.71)
Loss, 11-5. Listen, here’s the thing – I’m at a complete loss for words. This entire set was built on complete annihilation, like we showed up to the demolition derby riding a Huffy. This time Pittsburgh put up 7 runs in the bottom of the 8th. It was demoralizing, the kind of thing a man has a hard time coming back from – this is every nightmare neatly combined into a package of such frightening clarity that the abyss you find yourself in at its conclusion permeates your entire being. We a mired in a perpetual state of self-doubt – a frailty of spirit with no clear path back to righteousness immediately evident.
Elsewhere: Hey!
Jo Jo Jackson (DAL) hit a
GRAND SLAM in the top of the 7th during the Cowboys’ 10-7 win over the Timbers in Portland. That’s neat. Hard to really enjoy it given the state of my club… so fair play to the young, bat-abusing muscleman and defending HR champion.
Notes: After being swept out of Pittsburgh like yesterday’s dandruff, we’ve reclaimed our rightful spot at the very bottom of the NL East table – looking up at, well, everyone. 3-7 in our last 10, heading back home where we are 5-10 so far, and playing some of the worst baseball I’ve ever had the misfortune to be associated with. Toronto is next on the docket – great news for people who love bad news… they’re 22-10, 1st in the AL East, amazing everywhere, and looking to secure their second road sweep in a row after dispatching the Chicago Fire by a combined score of 24 to 8.
The good times are killing me...