As I await our date with the Montreal Wanderers and faced with the unenviable reality of a day off staring me in the face, I’ve made the terrible mistake of taking stock in my club to idle my time. This, of course, was an analog exercise where my assistant, Megan, painstakingly printed out hard copies of everything I would need to conduct a thorough and proper analysis. That she left a small cup and large bottle of whiskey next to the stack of printed materials should have clued me into the foreboding I was about to subject myself to. But, it didn’t. Because I’m dense, too prone to abject positivity to go into this effort with eyes wide open. What followed then was a journey into the heart of darkness, one where you know exactly what you will find but are too stubborn to realize it. I’ll keep my discoveries brief - we are, since the all-star game, the worst team in all of baseball (10-13 record). Our hitters can’t hit, especially against lefties where, based on the numbers (sub-.200 average), it would seem that many of our guys enter the box without a bat. Our pitchers, once the best in the league as a unit, are struggling - they’ve mastered the art of treating throwing strikes like an impressionist painting where they simply can’t be bothered to do it for real. It’s this last bit that concerns me most - we’ve become the embodiment of an Italian deli where meatballs are sold individually and served to order. There really is very little to like contained in the stacks of paper Megan has provided - and I’ve tried everything... reading the papers from the last page to the first, turning them upside down and pretending like they are some alien hieroglyphs that contain the secrets to time travel. All for naught. In the end, it’s difficult to discern the meaning of it all - maybe there is no meaning in baseball - and even an entire bottle of whiskey coupled with Megan’s two sizes too tight, tight pants, are not enough to stir my imagination to the point of feeling optimistic about the contents of her report. We’re in a bad way, folks, in a free-fall where our main parachute is faulty, and the backup is suspect.
So, it is with reservation that we travel to Montreal to face the Wanderers - a club whose post-all-star free fall seems to have been solved by a jury-rigged chute and some wide-eyed optimism. There will be none of that here, folks, we’ll save our positivity until we have a reason to display it.
Los Angeles Lakers (61-40, .604, 1st NL West) @ Montreal Wanderers (54-47, .535, 4th NL East)
So, Montreal has been worse than us in July (10-14) and their post-All-Star doldrums has been equally severe… until very recently when they swept the San Diego Chargers on the road and took a set off of the San Francisco Seals at home – they, unlike us, seem to have found a way to right the ship. Their recipe has been simple – solid, but not otherworldly hitting, paired with solid, but not otherworldly starting pitching, served with an out-of-sight Bullpen that ranks 2nd in the NL for ERA. In fact, 5 of their 7 relievers have a sub-2.50 ERA and all three of their lefties are in the midst of superb seasons. This is a good club – and one that would be a surefire playoff club in any other division… they also have 3 regulars who have hit 20+ homers (their 108 as a team ranks 2nd in the AL). So, yeah, a solid power alley with a lockdown bullpen – the exact kind of club that gives the La La’s fits…
102 of 162: Michael Brisk (8-7, 3.98) @ Ashton Hughes (6-6, 3.94)
Loss, 2-0. Name another Lamborghini owner with an 8-8 record. You can’t, can you? No bother – it’s not your fault – it’s just that, Brisky, Mr. Cool Breeze, is the only one… He is neatly illustrating my failure as a GM and working hard to secure my head for Mr. Murray at the end of the season. Harlem Peterson was the biggest difference here – 1 for 3 with a HR and 2 RBIs. Well, him and the bullpen – who locked us down for three innings to close this one out.
Elsewhere: Xavier Pace of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Gavin Nalley of the Chicago Fire both hit GRAND SLAMS today… Xavier did it in a 10-5 win over the Chargers, while Gavin put his out of the park in a 15-6 win over the Dallas Cowboys… Also – trade deadline is tomorrow… I plan on standing firm and riding this ****-show into the abyss.
103 of 162: Newton Weiser (11-5, 2.95) @ Max Harrington (5-10, 4.33)
Win, 6-4. A special note – Barbaccia has earned a save in 28 straight attempts, tonight would have been his 29th had he not blown it in the bottom of the 9th. Newton gave us 8 strong innings where he allowed 8 hits and only 2 earned runs and Dom Cooke played the hero at the top of the 12th when he put out a 2-run blast that put us up for good… PEPPER, Dontrell, Hamza, and Voorhis drive in our first four – and HAMZA pulled off this sweet feat – 1 run, 1 RBI, 1 walk, 1 sac bunt, 1 sac fly, and 1 stolen base. I feel like I should buy the guy a hotdog or something.
Elsewhere: Harlem Peterson was named the top hitter in the NL for July… good for him, he deserves it. LF Arthur McCready of the Green Bay Packers took the AL’s version of that trophy home - .336 with 10 jacks in July… CF Easton Thorn of the Nolanville ‘Nauts went 4 for 5 with a double, THREE HOMERS, 7 RBI, and 3 runs in their 17-6 win over the Hagerstown Hummers – Easton spent 8 years in the Houston Dynamo’s organization before spending time in Oakland (GOLDEN STATE), Pittsburgh, Montreal, New York, and Portland. This is his second stint in the Bush League and he’s currently batting .252 with 22 homers and 33 RBI.
104 of 162: Aiden Jensen (6-10, 5.32) @ Jaxson Mottola (6-10, 4.88)
Win, 6-5. More heroics from DOM – 4 for 4 with a double, TWO HOMERS, 3 RBI, and a couple of runs for our suddenly red-hot catcher (don’t get too excited – he had another passed ball in this contest). Aiden looked wonderful – 9 K’s and only 3 earned in 7.1 innings of work, Ethan scored twice and drove two in, Barbaccia picked up his 27th save, another SAC FLY for Ethan, and three stolen bags as a unit (Otto, HAMZA, and O-MACK)… it’s nice to get a series win here and to start August off on the good fit – let’s hope that this is the start of something nasty.
Notes: Well… alright, alright, alright – we’ve moved back into the top three of the weekly power rankings and have maintained our 4-game lead over the Suns… We’ll head west to meet Orlando in our park for a 3-game set followed by 4 more at home against the SF Seals – in all we have ten straight home games coming up. We’ll need to put something nice together…