[Westheim]

By early January, the Raccoons’ 2033 roster had largely but not fully taken shape. The rotation was in place and the only competition in the pen would be between Bryan Rabbitt and rule 5er Jesse Erickson over that final, long man spot. The decision was not trivial given that Rabbitt was out of options and it wasn’t sure that he’d clear waivers.

We’d try our luck with the catching tandem of Fernando Garcia and Elliott Thompson, but the rest of the batting personnel still had *some* wiggle room. While it was unlikely that any of the infield starters (Zitzner, Stalker, Ramos, Perkins) were going to be displaced, there was competition between Tom Hawkins, Justin Marsingill, and Sam Cass for the last two spots. Well, it was really between the latter two for the last spot. Neither were doing any roster they were on much good, and maybe a last-minute addition would fall from the sky there. In the outfield we were rather sure of our starting three with Billy Jennings in the middle and Wallace and Ferrero on either flank. Pinkerton remained as Swiss Army knife. There were no intentions for Ed Hooge to start the season in Portland, nor for Ivan Vega to be retained at all, so adding a pinch-hitter was entirely possible. Handedness didn’t really matter for the tack-on outfielder; between the four guys who were sure of their roster spots we had two right-handed and two left-handed batters.

Throughout the month I nibbled on other teams for their players because there wasn’t anything really exciting on the free agent market anymore. The Crusaders wouldn’t give up either Danny Tessmann (a detoxed former Elk) nor Chris Reardon for whatever scraps we were willing to send, which would surely include Ivan Vega.

I came across the broken Titans, too. Why are the Titans broken? They have ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD. Yes, but they were also weighed down by numerous multi-million dollar contracts to players 35 and up that were no longer productive, including pitchers Eric Williams, Alex Contreras, Jordan Caldwell and a few others. They had a $47M payroll on a $45M budget, which doesn’t quite ****ing tally out.

You probably also noticed that Adrian Reichardt – scourge of the Critters for more than a decade – had lost his starting spot in ’32 to a up-and-coming Moises Avila – scourge of the Critters for the next decade or so. Reichardt also had a sizable contract, but we sniffed an opening here. Our scout was sure that he was still productive if given a chance. Unfortunately, the 35-year-old former #1 pick (2018) Reichardt had gotten only about 200 at-bats in ’32 while succumbing to the Youth of a Nation. He had hit .273 with two homers, but he had never been about the power. Reichardt was a high-OBP guy with gap power and a splendid defender. His fielding stats (just over 200 innings in center and under 100 in left in ’32) looked *alright*, especially for a 35-year-old. Surely this wouldn’t be another Adam Braun-sized disaster, right?

Right?

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January 8 – The Blue Sox snatch ex-OCT SP Mark Morrison (94-92, 4.06 ERA) for 3-yr, $7.08M.
January 11 – Denver announces the addition of ex-TOP/IND MR Adam Rosenwald (35-32, 2.81 ERA, 68 SV) in a 3-yr, $4.8M scoop.
January 15 – The Dallas Stars sign 32-year-old ex-RIC C Elias Tovias (.252, 116 HR, 531 RBI) to a 4-yr, $4.9M contract.
January 17 – SFW SP Mike Ibarra (21-16, 4.09 ERA), who went 14-8 with a 4.23 ERA in 2033, is expected to miss most of the 2033 season after injuring his shoulder when he throws his controller in anger over losing in a baseball video game.
January 22 – The Raccoons pick up 35-year-old CF/LF Adrian Reichardt (.276, 112 HR, 810 RBI) from the overbudget Titans for 30-yr old LF/RF Ivan Vega (.286, 34 HR, 279 RBI), 26-yr old MR Bryan Rabbitt (0-2, 4.63 ERA, 1 SV), and 27-yr old AAA SP/MR Trevor Draper (5-7, 5.58 ERA).

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No, I will never learn.

Reichardt brings five rings, five Gold Gloves, a ROTY belt, a World Series MVP title, and somehow only three All Star nominations with him. Also a contract over $2.56M for this and next year (per year, in case you weren’t sure), with a $2.24M vesting option (135 games played) for ’35.

But hey, at least Maud is happy. The Reichardt bobblehead is already ordered. And fan interest was poked in the middle of winter, and the season ticket sale picked up some pace.

Elsewhere, former Raccoons made their way through chimneys into warm places, too: Rafael Gomez signed with the Aces for $336k; Jonathan Fleischer got 2-yr, $888k from the Gold Sox; Jared Stone inked in Oklahoma City for $660k; Matt Jamieson would hit a fourth CL North team after joining the Crusaders for $740k;

And that’s January done! I can already smell the new season drawing up! Can you smell it too?

Oh sorry, that’s actually somebody burning their steak on a Matt Nunley-supplied BBQ grill while they got their head stuck licking out the tub of Queen Creamy mayonnaise. – Raffaello! Your tongue isn’t gonna reach so far down! – Goddamnit, Maud, the fire extinguisher…!!