Los Angeles Lakers (45-24, .652, 1st NL West) @ Vancouver Whitecaps (22-47, .319, 6th NL West)
7-21 at home, a double-digit ranking in every major statistical category, and trending to lose 110 games in 2077 – It’s safe to say that the Vancouver Whitecaps are in a bad way. They are trending to their worst season of all-time… their previous worst came way back in 2042 when they finished with a 63-99 record. In fact, they’ve only finished last in the NL West four times (1992, 1998, 2017, and 2042). It’s safe to say that this has not been their year – not due to injuries or any other outside factors either. Nope. They’re just terrible – not built for winning… just a collection of stiffs with suspect athletic ability and little to no baseball acumen. Their top pitcher is ranked 23rd in the league, their third baseman wouldn’t make the big club on any other organization, and LF Eloy Delando – the Dutch Antillean Nightmare – has soured their clubhouse to the point of mutiny. Their GM, Bat Hampton, is serviceable, but he’s not brilliant by any stretch of the imagination – vanilla, milquetoast, and unimaginative. You have to wonder how long he will last before the owner, TJ Torres puts him out on the street. Long story short – it’s tough to be a Whitecap supporter right now, so, props to any fans that bother to make it out to the park for this 3-game road set.
70 of 162: Newton Weiser (8-3, 2076) @ Julian Brooks (1-8, 7.14)
Win, 10-7. Newton gave up 4 runs (including a homer) in 6.2 innings of work, but Vancouver’s starter, Julian Brooks, gave up 7, including 3 homers in, wait for it…. TWO INNINGS OF WORK. We crushed this poor kid – took a 7.14 ERA and puffed it up to a nice, round 8.00 for him. Voorhis, Otto, and Rajkumar all hit dingers, OH HONG, PEPPER, and Tony add a double each to the mix, and we get 2 ribbies from Otto despite the fact that he fanned out 3 times tonight. Basically, we were mixing up a stew in this one – fresh seafood, some all-spice, and that Laker brand of alchemy all mixed up in a cauldron of awesomeness… and, we invited each of the 22,816 in attendance to come on down and enjoy a sample. Unfortunately, our witchcraft magic could not protect us from injury as, your boy, PEPPER GRANT, was hobbled while running the bases in this one… DIAGNOSIS PENDING.
Note: The diagnosis is no longer pending – your boy has back spasms, is DtD for the next 5-7 days… all good.
Elsewhere: Josiah Kawka, of the Houston Dynamo, pitched a CG, 6-hit shutout over the Los Angeles Galaxy and added 7 strikeouts in the 4-0 win. The LA Galaxy committed 3 errors in the game – really should have been a 1-0 victory for Houston had all their players remembered to bring their gloves into the field with them.
71 of 162: Aiden Jensen (6-6, 4.68) @ Anthony Boswell (2-4, 4.07)
Loss, 9-3. Arthur Grant killed us today… 3 for 4 with 2 homers and 4 RBI. Aiden only lasted through the 4th inning, and reliever Mason Sandoval made sure to spot the Whitecaps a few extra runs before handing it off to Paul Wilson. Ethan came to play – he’d get 3 hits and even stole a bag, Hamza stole his 29th, and, well, no one else really contributes much for us in this one. Oh Hong struck out 3 times, Otto struck out twice, and without Pepper in the lineup to ignite a spark we couldn’t get warm enough to get anything cooking. Nothing is given to you in Baseball – one day, you’re the best in the biz, and the next day you’re lucky if you get your laces tied correctly before the game.
72 of 162: Michael Brisk (6-6, 4.19) @ Adam Gunter (6-7, 4.15)
Win, 8-5. When you take a peek under the hood, Adam Gunter & Michael Brisk are basically the same guy with the only discernible differences being that Gunter wears a handlebar mustache while Brisky sports a super-sexy Magnum PI ‘stache and that Brisky rolls a Lambo while Gunter drives a ’76 (electric) Ford Bronco… having said that we won. OH HONG won the man of the match on a 2 for 3 performance with a double, an RBI, and 2 runs, Voorhis & Mullens put balls out of the park, PEPPER played (1 for 5 with a run), and Hamza swiped his 30th bag of the season… in the bad news department – 3B Dontrell Gay developed a hitch in his giddyup while running the bags… ANALYSIS PENDING.
Notes: We’ll head
home for a 6-game stretch with sets against Orlando City & the St. Louis Rams on the docket… Our lead over the Suns sits at 4 ½ games – we like that, but we don’t love it.
Brooklyn has taken a 1-game lead in the NL East with STL a single game off the pace and Montreal only 1 ½ back… Jacksonville’s
2B Telma Tavares, who leads the league in WAR at 4.1, will be
out of commission for 4-weeks with an Oblique strain – memories of 2076 have come flooding back (we lost the WAR leaders for both leagues (Heathcote & Ray-Ray) at the end of that campaign…).
Orlando CF Masaharu Watanabe, last season leader in strikeouts, has regained the lead in that category again –
he has fanned at the plate 96 times so far in ’77… Hamza leads the league in runs scored at 61 and in times caught stealing at 9 (Ethan is second in CS at 8)… Current Laker, SP Paul Yeager, leads the league in wins at 11 and Former Laker, SP Matt Olston, leads the league in losses at 11 – that’s called symmetry folks (Right? I think it does)… the
CITY OF COMPTON’s SP Kordell Littles leads the IL in Sac Hits at 9 – kids a ballplayer, always looking for a way to win… And,
I put Minor Leaguer, LF Joseph Zody, on the block – he’s solid, but doesn’t factor into my long-term plans, so it’s time to get him onto another club where he will be given an opportunity to actually flourish – problem is, when I shopped him around, I didn’t even get a nibble on him. He’s stuck in baseball purgatory for now it seems… Lastly – look at this guy I found in the Bush League –
SP Jax Abreu, an independent league lifer, who was drafted out of East Carolina by the Golden State Warriors before being released the following year (rumors at the time seemed to indicate that he got caught fraternizing with the Skippers wife during the 7th inning stretch of a game that the San Jose Sharks were playing against the Columbus Bluejackets) and starting what would become his life’s work in the Bush League – where he’s made stops in Columbia, Hagerstown, Dearborn, Decatur, Gainesville, and Naperville before joining the Coney Island Footlongs… he’s an okay baseball player, nothing special, but the man has himself as strong a ‘stache game as I’ve seen in some time.
DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE 'STACHE!