Los Angeles Lakers (16-8, .667, 1st NL West) @ San Diego Chargers (10-15, .400, 4th NL West)
It’s Burt McElheny and the also-rans in San DEE-AHH-GO – never mind the FACT that he too is an also-ran at 0-4 with a 5.59 ERA. Welcome to paradise – where visiting clubs come to kick back, relax, soak up some rays, and win… easily. That the Chargers have won 10 of the 25 games they’ve played is something of a low-key miracle that owes more to the nonchalance with which their opponents played than it does anything they brought to the table. Only in a game as fickle as this does a team who is ranked dead last in both Offense AND Pitching flex a 10-15 record. They are bad, terrible even, and content to shamble along to the tune of a drummer that can’t keep time as they slog their way through the grind. That’s what living in paradise will do to a man - bootleg island vibes, Bob Marley cranked up to 11, Corona swill with over-ripe limes at the ready, and a belief that, no matter what, everything is going to be alright. Of course, having said all that, we should go 0-4 here - if karma is a bitch, then karma in Paradise is a hungover Bette Midler fronting a Madonna cover band while trying to free her lady marmalade.
25 of 162: Paul Yeager (4-0, 2.31) @ Burt McElheny (0-4, 5.59)
Win, 9-7. Yeager struggled – it seems that hanging out with Brisky on a mission to scout the local talent on the beach did not treat him kindly… 6 earned will be added to his permanent record – but Ferdinand gives us two solid innings and Barbaccia collects his 6th save of the season. Our pitching wasn’t great, it was sufficient… this one, then, was the Ethan and Otto show – Mullens punched out a 3-run jack & Isaac scored twice. Lonzo & Dom both drive in two, Mullens, Mack, and McDonnell each commit an act of brazen robbery, and we completed THREE double plays. All in a days work, my friends… the Golden Caps from Sunset Strip are on something of a run.
Elsewhere: The superbly named, C Chitomi Kojima, of the Hagerstown Hummers went 3 for 4 with a HR and 3 RBI in the Hummers 7-5 loss against Columbia. He gets the highlight here by virtue of having a killer name and hailing from San Diego if for nothing else. Speaking of the Hummers, your boy Adrian Bae, who they did super dirty during their BL Championship run last year, has pitched in 2 games for the Carolina Panthers and is posting a 1.35 ERA with a save, 4 K’s and a 324 ERA+. In other news… the Brooklyn Citizens moved their AAA affiliate from Brentwood to Staten Island and have rebranded the team as the Staten Island Killer Bees. The move is expected to increase revenue for their affiliate program (C.R.E.A.M.)…
26 of 162: Aiden Jensen (1-3, 5.86) @ Teagan Rachel (3-2, 4.30)
Win, 7-3. GRAND SLAM in the top of the 11th for Arnold Webster! Win #2 for Barbaccia! SAC BUNT FOR HAMZA! SAC FLY FOR ISAAC! We’re just firing on all cylinders & kicking back with a Cadillac Margarita catching that cool ocean breeze. This is kind of like a vacation…
Elsewhere: YOU GUYS… all that Rad Taylor needs to get a complete-game shutout against the Gwinnett Stripers at Coolray Field is a cool buzz and some tasty waves. Well, there are no waves in Gwinnett, but they do have a fine assortment of local beers to get you headed towards that buzz… 4 hits, 1 walk allowed… but ZERO RUNS and SEVEN Ks! What’s good?
27 of 162: Michael Brisk (3-2, 2.91) @ Artyom Fadeyev (2-3, 4.78)
Loss, 7-5. Brisky, out here looking like he’s bagged more rays than Bernie in Weekend at Bernie’s, got shelled – 4 runs scored, 9 balls got hit, 4 people got free passes… you get the gist. Not sure what I need to do to keep Brisky from going full beach bum when we come to San Diego… if you have any ideas, let me know. We still managed to earn a chance to win it, BUT then we put Rudolf out there – so, yeah, we couldn’t close it out. Ethan hit his 3rd homer… and yeah, nothing else to highlight really.
28 of 162: Dejuan Burns (2-1, 3.06) @ Mike Augustine (1-1, 8.79)
Win, 5-1. It was bikini night at Coppertone Stadium, my favorite promotion where the Chargers give out 20-thousand bikini tops on a first-come, first-serve basis… don’t get too excited though – there was a group of Banditos (from the local SD Chapter) in the bleachers who decided it would be a good idea to remove their swanky biker gang vests and don the bikini tops instead. You can’t unsee that no matter how nice the rest of the scenery was. Dejuan was clutch (only 1 run allowed), Hamza went 4 for 5 with a triple and two runs, and Pepper drew three free passes. Of note: Voorhis stole his 1st bag of the season (it would later be revealed that he did so because he didn’t want to face the bleachers at first) and Hamza is now up to 13 steals – he’s the 2nd most prolific bag collector in the league right now behind left-fielder Travis Scharmer (CHI) who has 22 – dude’s a bit greedy, I’d say.
