[Westheim]

Raccoons (46-66) vs. Canadiens (53-60) – August 9-11, 2032

These were the bottom two teams in the CL as the week began, although the Canadiens were actually within sight of third place. The Raccoons were not in sight of anything, least of October. Vancouver ranked eighth in runs scored, second from the bottom in runs allowed (guess who’s last…) and had a -62 run differential which was kind of cute to the Coons (-120). We did have a 7-5 edge in the season series, though, which I thought worth defending.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (2-4, 4.30 ERA) vs. Logan Bessey (5-3, 3.59 ERA)
Jason Gurney (6-8, 6.17 ERA) vs. Joe Martin (9-9, 4.72 ERA)
TBD vs. Victor Govea (6-9, 4.43 ERA)

The week would start with a southpaw, then proceed with two right-handers. One of the current Elk thorns in our side, outfielder Brian Wojnarowski, was laboring on a sore ankle and was unavailable at least to begin the series.

And with that we get to the injury department of our own dear village club and how that TBD was going to be resolved on Wednesday. It would be Travis Coffee’s turn, but even then on short rest and he was listed as day-to-day with an oblique tweak. The wildest thought surrounding him was to spot-start Garavito in his spot, but it would probably not be a wise move.

Speaking of Wise, Chris Wise was diagnosed with a tight back and was listed as day-to-day for this series. Better not feed him to the damn Elks before they leave hoof marks all over his face. There were no news on Raffaello Sabre on Monday, who like Coffee had left one end of the Saturday double-header with an injury.

Game 1
VAN: 3B Anton – 2B Morrow – RF I. Vega – 1B D. Fisher – SS Bennett – LF A. Torres – CF Tessmann – C F. Garcia – P Bessey
POR: SS Stalker – 2B Marsingill – 3B Perkins – 1B Zitzner – CF Hooge – RF Rodriguez – C Ross – LF Hall – P Chavez

With Rodrigez and Ross on base, the Raccoons brought Bernie to the plate with two outs in the bottom 2nd of a scoreless game. Bernie collected his second career RBI, and the first this season, with a clean single to left that sent Wilson Rodriguez home from second base, and Tim Stalker one-upped him with another RBI single before Justin Marsingill found the corner for a 2-run double, a surely sour turn of events for the damn Elks, but nothing we hadn’t seen occurring to a Critter at least 50 times this year… Unfortunately, Chavez didn’t handle the lead well at all and endeavored to see how many batters he would be able to put on base in the next few frames. Bessey got him back with an RBI single, scoring Danny Tessmann in the third, and the fourth saw David Fisher lead off with a single, and they only added from there. T.J. Bennett singled, while Alex Torres whiffed. Tessmann zinged a liner past Perkins’ glove to load the bases, and while Perkins got a handle on Fernando Garcia’s roller, his only play was at first base, and another run scored. Bessey ran a full count before ending the inning with a fly to sizably deep center. Top 5th, Ivan Vega doubled with two outs, then was plated with a Fisher single, and just like that a good lead was whittled down to 4-3. Tessmann and Garcia hit singles in the sixth, but were doubled off when Bessey faked a bunt and instead slapped a liner into Marsingill’s mitten, with the tardy catcher doubled off first to end the inning.

The Raccoons offense was notably absent in the meantime. Between the third and fifth innings, precious little happened with the brown team poking, and nothing worth reporting. In the sixth Nate Hall hit a 2-out single that removed Chavez (on 98 pitches) for sure. Jimmy Wallace slapped a single up the middle, adding a second runner, but Stalker hit a lame grounder to Eric Morrow… and Morrow threw the ball well past Fisher for a 2-base error when the ball disappeared in the Coons’ dugout, causing some mild mayhem before getting stuck in a sachertorte that happened to be standing around. The Furballs were dismayed and bickered at Morrow over the destruction of the delicacy, but at least the error scored them a run right away, 5-3, and ultimately another one when Marsingill legged out an infield single to get Wallace across, too, 6-3. Perkins grounded out to Matt Anton…… except that now Matt Anton threw the ball past the unenviable Fisher, who had to chase that one down in foul territory. One run scored, two reached scoring position, Zitzner was walked intentionally, and then Bessey yanked for right-hander Eric McKinney just when Ed Hooge came about. With the bags full and two outs, Hooge dropped a ball into shallow left-center, two more runs scored, and the inning only ended with a K to Rodriguez, after five unearned runs had engorged the Critters’ lead.

The 9-3 lead turned into the damn Elks having the tying run at the plate with nobody out in the seventh. Nick Derks was inserted after Chavez, but retired nobody between the five batters he faced. Walk, single, triple, single, single went the top 5 in the damn Elks’ lineup, plating three runs and putting two guys on the corners. Here came Garavito, ending the spot start option on Wednesday. We now needed length from him. Alex Torres needed three pitches to homer the game tied. PH Pat Pohl reached first base on a drag bunt after that, but was stranded on two grounders and a K to Anton. Too little, too late. The Coons had little choice but to stick to Garavito, the blown lead be damned, given that Saturday and Sunday had been devastating on an already meh bullpen. The Elks didn’t get him in the eighth or ninth, and he was hit for by Jarod Howden to begin the bottom 9th against right-hander Matt Tillman. Howden singled to center, followed by Rodriguez popping out. Ross singled to left, moving the winning run to second base for Nate Hall, who took a pretty confident rip on a 1-2 pitch and sent it to deep right-center. Pat Pohl was probably not going to get there, and that one kept going and going until it was GONE!! Walkoff homer for Nate Hall …!! 12-9 Critters! Stalker 2-5, RBI; Marsingill 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Howden (PH) 1-1; Ross 2-5; Hall 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Wallace (PH) 1-2;

21 runs, 33 hits – no, I don’t see this being the two worst-pitching teams in the league…

Nick Derks (9.95 ERA) was whisked onto waivers after the game, and the Coons recalled Trevor Draper (0-0, 0.00 ERA in 4.2 innings this year, but 5-6 with a 5.32 ERA career-wise) to make a spot start on *Tuesday*. Jason Gurney would be pushed to Wednesday; but it was not expected that Draper would spend more time than one day on the roster.

Game 2
VAN: 2B Morrow – CF LeJeune – RF I. Vega – 1B D. Fisher – SS Bennett – LF A. Torres – 3B Anton – C F. Garcia – P J. Martin
POR: CF Hooge – SS Stalker – RF Wallace – 3B Perkins – 1B Howden – C James – LF Hall – 2B Marsingill – P Draper

To nobody’s great surprise at all, Draper incurred a particularly ugly 3-spot right in the first inning. The parade started with walks to Morrow and Jesse LeJeune, Fisher loaded the bags with a single, and Bennett hit an infield single on a 3-0 pitch that scored the first run. Anton would plate two with a 2-out, full-count single to center before Garcia ended the inning with a fly to right. Top 2nd, leadoff single for the pitcher, then a Morrow double. Oh, for ****’S SAKE!! No amount of cursing helped to make Draper a worthwhile pitcher, that much we had learned in the last few years. LeJeune hit an RBI single, Vega lifted a sac fly, and Fisher grounded out, after LeJeune stole his way to third base, indeed involving a throwing error by Giovanni James, which now of course plated another run, making it 6-0 through two. While Martin needed 24 pitches and faced the minimum once through the order, Draper – because six runs allowed had long ceased being a reason for instant removal around here – dragged himself into the fifth on some 80 pitches before a leadoff walk to Vega and a Fisher single ended his day. Bates replaced him and retired the next three batters without another run coming across, which ALMOST felt like a win. Almost.

The lousy Coons had two hits through five, then loaded them up on Stalker, Wallace, and Howden singles in the bottom 6th. James batted with two outs and struck out to strand them all, which was about as much rally as they had in them. When Pinkerton batted for Jared Stone in the bottom 7th, everybody knew what would come next – stickball by the rule 5 centerfielder. Anton singled, Garcia homered, 8-0. The Coons got only one runner in the late innings and went down like a rock thrown into the Willamette. 8-0 Canadiens. Wallace 2-4; Howden 2-4, 2B; Hall 2-3, BB;

Well, that was ugly. And with that I mean Alex Torres’ performance, which involved him strolling to the plate five times, and then to strike out, strike out, strike out, strike out, aaand … strike out: 0-for-5, 5 K. Even ****ing TREVOR DRAPER rung him up twice.

Next, Draper was on waivers, and by Wendesday Raffaello Sabre was shoved to the DL – ruptured finger tendons, season over. Same injury as Rico Gutierrez by the way.

More holes in the pitching staff. Great.

For Wednesday, the Raccoons called up unloved Dave Martinez (11-7, 3.57 ERA in AAA), who at the news of promotion spontaneously praised Odilon in a high, clear voice, and would get the Sunday start. Also, Chris Baldwin to fill up the infield.

Game 3
VAN: 2B Morrow – CF LeJuene – RF Wojnarowski – 1B D. Fisher – SS Bennett – 3B Anton – LF I. Vega – C van der Hout – P Govea
POR: CF Hooge – SS Stalker – RF Wallace – 3B Perkins – 1B Howden – C James – LF Hall – 2B Marsingill – P Gurney

Nate Hall’s second homer of the series produced the first run of the game with two outs in the bottom 2nd. At that point, Gurney had already walked three and had survived only on stingy defense. On to the third, Eric Morrow grounded to Stalker, who’s throw to first base was dropped by Jarod Howden, the dumb pig, and LeJeune legged out an infield single. Oh, here they come…! The reemerged Wojnarowski hit into a fielder’s choice, but Fisher got nailed by Gurney, who was such a good pitcher… Bennett grounded out, plating the tying run in unearned fashion, while Anton was rung up to end the inning. Singles by the 2-3-4 batters gave Portland a new lead, 2-1, in the bottom 3rd, and Hooge singled home an unearned 2-out run in the fourth inning, exploiting another Morrow error.

The damn Elks failed to do real damage to Gurney, despite Jason’s best efforts to the contrary; he didn’t have a 1-2-3 inning until the sixth. Govea rung up *11* Raccoons in six innings, then was hit for by Tessmann to begin the seventh. Gurney hung in, allowed a leadoff jack – a real bomb – to right to cut the lead to 3-2, then was knocked out on a Morrow double to left. Alex Torres pinch-hit for LeJeune and shook off the platinum sombrero with a walk drawn from Stone, who was then swiftly replaced with Hennessy, who ran a full count to Wojnarowski before allowing a full homer to right, which put the Coons behind, 5-3. They put Hooge and Stalker on base with singles in the seventh, but couldn’t break through against Matt Tillman until the eighth when Giovanni James socked a leadoff jack to get back to 5-4. Hall singled, Marsingill doubled, and suddenly we were in business. Zitzner was already in the #9 hole after a double switch following the top of the eighth, but his fly was too shallow to Wojnarowski and the runners had to hold. They didn’t have to hold on Hooge’s single to center. Hall was in to tie the game, and Marsingill was sent around and scored to give the Coons the lead! …which served to bring up the question who the **** should pitch the ninth inning. Chris Wise longed to go, so he was sent; the top of the order was up, with two right-handers, then two left-handers; Garavito was warming up behind Wise for some insurance, which was necessary after a leadoff walk to Morrow and a groundout that moved the runner to second base. Garavito came in, allowed a single to Wojnarowski on a 2-2 pitch, and then the tying run to come across on Fisher’s groundout to the right side, and the game continued to the bottom 9th tied at six. Nobody scored, so extras we got, and the Critters had nobody left except for Anaya and Fernandez, the latter of which got the call, issued a leadoff walk to one catcher (Garcia), and got an inning-ending double play grounder from the other catcher (Donny van der Hout). The damn Elks had the go-ahead run on third base with one out in the 11th following Morrow and Pohl singles off Fernandez, but he struck out Wojnarowski and Fisher to escape the jam. Bottom 11th, Hooge bounced a ball through Fisher to begin the inning, putting the winning run on first base with nobody out, and the Critters called a hit-and-run with Stalker up, who shot a ball at Lazaro Hernandez at third base. That corner infielder also couldn’t come up with the ball, and said ball had to be curtailed by Ivan Vega in leftfield. With the early start, Hooge was waved around third base, the throw was late, and the Critters had their second walkoff win of the series! 7-6 Furballs!! Hooge 4-6, 3 RBI; Stalker 4-6, 2B, RBI; Wallace 2-5; Fernandez 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K, W (2-3);

**** THOSE ELKS!! HAAHH…!!! (celebratorily shakes fists and dances around the table before tweaking something in the back and falling onto the couch)

Raccoons (48-67) @ Stars (65-48) – August 13-15, 2032

After a very welcome off day, the Critters would invade pitchers’ hell, Dallas. We had taken two out of three in the most recent meeting with them, but that had been in 2029, when we still had something vaguely resembling a pitching staff. The Stars had the highest batting average and the third-most runs in the Federal League, and had actually managed to assemble a young and capable pitching staff that managed to stay in the top half of the FL despite playing in a destitute shoebox half the time. Despite all that, they were more than ten games out in the FL West.

Projected matchups:
Ignacio del Rio (7-11, 5.12 ERA) vs. Jong-hoo Cho (10-8, 4.96 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-4, 4.32 ERA) vs. John Rucker (8-10, 3.57 ERA)
Dave Martinez (0-0) vs. Mark Roberts (12-5, 3.01 ERA)

How about old Mark Roberts having himself another year in this portable toilet? The home run total of Roberts, 37, was actually *way down* compared to Portland, which was one of those things I would add to the list of a myriad other things that were driving me slowly crazy over time. He had led the CL in homers served up three times in eight seasons with the Coons, with between 19 and 30 homers allowed in his qualifying seasons. He was at 13 homers in 152.2 innings now. He was also one of two southpaws we’d face, the other one being Rucker.

Game 1
POR: CF Hooge – SS Stalker – RF Wallace – 3B Perkins – 1B Howden – C James – LF Hall – 2B Marsingill – P del Rio
DAL: SS J. Ramos – 1B Fowlkes – RF Beard – C Sanford – CF Murray – 3B Roesler – 2B Hendricks – LF N. Baker – P Cho

Walking Stalker and giving up singles to Wallace and Perkins cost Cho a run in the first, but then Howden, the dumb pig, hit into a double play, and the same fate would befall Perkins with Hooge and Wallace on in the top of the third. Del Rio had a solid first time through the order, allowing only one base hit, and then was spotted a 2-0 lead in the fourth when Nate Hall’s unforeseen power barrage continued with a solo homer to right. Bottom 4th, Kyle Beard singled, stole second base on a pitch in the dirt, and then came home on a Ryan Murray single to reduce the lead to a skinny run again. That was it through five, but in the sixth the Stars came back. Leadoff single by Jon Ramos, which made me miss our own Ramos, then another single by Pat Fowlkes, the old Falcon. Ramos stole third base, his 40th on the season, with Fowlkes moving up on the throw by James, and a pathetic throw at that. Beard singled, tying the score at two, and there was still nobody out with runners on the corners. Pat Sanford hit a sac fly to put Dallas in the lead, and Murray’s double play grounder didn’t help anymore. Del Rio lasted seven, but the milk was spilled. The Raccoons couldn’t get their sticks up again with the Stars sending four different relievers to mix and match… which worked even when the Critters sent right-handed pinch-hitters in Zitzner and Rodriguez in the ninth against Adam Moran, a southpaw. Both struck out to end the game. 3-2 Stars. Wallace 2-4; Hall 2-3, HR, RBI;

Mark Roberts was moved up into the Saturday game, but we thought we’d see Rucker on Sunday then. The only other starter that would be rested on Sunday was Eric Weitz (10-6, 3.13 ERA, 1 SV), who was serving a suspension.

Game 2
POR: SS Stalker – 2B Marsingill – 3B Perkins – 1B Zitzner – LF Wallace – CF Hall – C Ross – RF Rodriguez – P Chavez
DAL: SS J. Ramos – 2B R. Padilla – RF Beard – C Sanford – CF Murray – 3B Roesler – 1B Fowlkes – LF N. Baker – P Roberts

Both teams had two on in the second inning and neither one scored. Chavez walked both Murray and Mike Roesler, which was a bit worrisome since normally he had good control, and you didn’t want to put people on base with no pressing need in this ballpark the dimensions of a medium-sized cat’s litter box. Fowlkes lined out to Marsingill and Nick Baker rolled over to short to end the inning. The Coons had them on the corners in the second, but Ross flew out and Rodriguez whiffed, then again in the second, but this time Perkins whiffed and Zitzner popped out. The Stars reached the corners with a 2-out walk to Rafael Padilla and a Beard single in the bottom 3rd, but Bernie struck out Sanford to keep them in check – lots of runners, no runs in the first three innings!

Roberts struck out eight in five shutout innings, which gave him 121 K in 157.2 innings for the season. He added another whiff in each of the next two frames while keeping the Coons to four hits, but reached 101 pitches through seven. Bernie entered the bottom 7th against the bottom of the order on 97 pitches, walked Fowlkes in a full count, and the Stars sent the quick Ricardo Chez to pinch-run, while the Critters sought out lefty relief. Chez stole second against Hennessy and Ross, and Nick Baker dropped a single in front of Hall, putting runners on the corners with no outs. Baker then took off, but was thrown out at second base, and Hennessy rung up Josh Dahlman in a full count for the second out. Another pinch-hitter appeared to hit for Ramos, weirdly enough, in switch-hitter Eric Hendricks, who poked the first pitch to left for an RBI single. That looked like the ballgame, but Padilla flew out, and then the Coons got Marsingill on base against Matt Diduch in the eighth. Perkins forced him out, but with two down got a quick start when Jarod Howden lined a ball up the rightfield line for a pinch-hit double, and came around to score the tying run. The relief was short-lived since the Raccoons then ran out of good relief, ironically. Jared Stone faced three batters, put all of them on base, and they all scored on a 1-out RBI single by Roesler and then, off Garavito, a 2-out, 2-run double by Baker. And this time it was indeed the ballgame… Moran retired the Critters in order in the ninth. 4-1 Stars. Stalker 2-4; Marsingill 2-4; Howden (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Six hits in the shoebox, and three runs in two games… what the …

And that after they put up 19 against the damn Elks in the middle of the week…

Game 3
POR: CF Pinkerton – SS Stalker – 3B Perkins – 1B Zitzner – LF Hall – RF Rodriguez – C Ross – 2B Baldwin – P Martinez
DAL: SS J. Ramos – 2B R. Padilla – RF Beard – C Sanford – CF Murray – 3B Roesler – 1B Fowlkes – LF N. Baker – P Rucker

Sanford hit an RBI double in the first, and the second saw Martinez walk Fowlkes with one out and then served up a double to deep right against Baker. The slower-than-molasses Fowlkes had to hold at third base, but was sent when John Rucker flew out to Rodriguez, who then lasered a throw to home plate to kill off Fowlkes with ten feet to spare. Jon Ramos however drew a leadoff walk in the third inning, advanced to third base on Beard’s single, and then came home on Sanford’s sac fly, 2-0. This was all while Rucker retired the Critters in order the first time through the lineup. That changed with Preston Pinkerton’s single in the fourth, although Stalker doubled him off right away. Perkins walked with two away, and then Zitzner got hold of a ball and drilled it over the fence in rightfield, tying the score at two.

Perkins would single home Pinkerton for a 3-2 lead in the sixth, but then Martinez struck again in his best form. He issued a leadoff walk to Sanford in the bottom of the inning, maneuvered around in half-assed fashion for two outs, and then served up a game-tying double to Pat Fowlkes. Baker flew to right, Rodriguez dropped that one, and the error allowed even Fowlkes across, giving Dallas the lead, 4-3. The Coons showed no immediate reaction, going silently in the seventh and eighth against Rucker, who struck out nine, but when Tony Dominguez, a right-hander with a 3.44 ERA, took over for the ninth, Perkins was the first man up and was about to foul out, when Josh Dahlman dropped his pop in foul ground. On the second chance, Perkins doubled, and there was nobody out with the tying run in scoring position. Howden hit for Zitzner, grounded out, but at least advanced the tying run to third base. Hall hit a fly to center, no challenge for Sergio Riquenes, but also too deep for a throw, and Perkins jogged home to tie the score at four. Rodriguez batted for himself (Wallace would have pinch-hit if Perkins had still been on base) and singled, and then Toby Ross sent a fastball out of the park for the go-ahead dinger, and wasn’t that a stunner. Even with the homer, Ross was now barely a .200 hitter…! That made the ninth inning a case for Wise, who retired the 1-2-3 batters on a strikeout and two grounders. 6-4 Coons! Pinkerton 2-4; Perkins 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Rodriguez 2-4;

Oy, a win! Just when I had stopped believing…

In other news

August 9 – OCT 1B Danny Cruz (.304, 16 HR, 74 RBI) shines with a 3-hit game, including two home runs, and 6 RBI in a 15-5 rout of the Falcons.
August 9 – TOP SP David Elliott (12-4, 3.08 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout, whiffing seven, in a 7-0 win over the Blue Sox.
August 9 – In the same game, Topeka’s RF Pablo Sanchez (.380, 6 HR, 38 RBI) runs a hitting streak to 20 games with two doubles.
August 10 – OCT 1B Danny Cruz (.311, 17 HR, 79 RBI) has himself yet another day in a 12-3 spanking of the Falcons, going unretired with two walks and four hits, including three doubles and a dinger, and five runs driven in.
August 14 – The Thunder stop the hitting streak of TOP RF Pablo Sanchez (.375, 6 HR, 40 RBI), who goes 0-for-3 in a 3-1 win over Oklahoma.
August 15 – DEN SP Tommy Weintraub (6-10, 4.34 ERA) will miss at least 12 months with a damaged elbow ligament.
August 15 – In a rare coincidence, no fewer than three games – Bayhawks @ Capitals, Knights @ Cyclones, Crusaders @ Gold Sox – are rained out on Sunday.

Complaints and stuff

Weird week. We went 3-3, but it somehow felt worse. We scored a fair bit against the damn Elks, but also got stuffed for 26 by them, so it was hardly an all-out success, and then got to Dallas and couldn’t find home plate at all. Nine runs in three games in the shoebox was not what I had hoped for…

Monday will be off. After that we’ll start a 9-game homestand against the Miners, Loggers, and Crusaders.

There is not much else to say right now. The best case scenario for the homestand will be that the Coons somehow go a decent 4-5 and are left alone by ownership…

Fun Fact: Mark Roberts (12-5, 2.87 ERA, 122 K) leads the Stars in all triple crown categories.

For his career, the 37-year-old lefty is 163-113 (playing in Portland ain’t give you wins…) with a 3.17 ERA and 2,396 K. If he keeps his Dallas ways going for a few more years, he might actually build a Hall of Fame case after all.