[Westheim]

Raccoons (48-45) vs. Loggers (39-54) – July 17-19, 2029

The Loggers were the only team in the North that was not going to be involved in a mildly crazy playoff scruffle at this point. Scruffle was not a word, but neither was there a flawless team in all of the North. The Coons surely weren’t it, and neither were the Loggers, who sat second from the bottom in runs scored, while they also allowed the fourth-most runs. Nothing to love here, and a 7-2 season series lead for the Raccoons, who could deny the Loggers a season series win for the 16th straight year by taking two out of three.

Projected matchups:
Mark Roberts (9-7, 3.47 ERA) vs. Joe West (5-7, 2.52 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (9-7, 4.30 ERA) vs. Francisco Colmenarez (4-12, 3.57 ERA)
Jamie O’Leary (0-3, 7.90 ERA) vs. Alex Contreras (6-6, 4.21 ERA)

The Loggers would start with a righty and then alternate handedness with their starters from there.

As a neat surprise for the fans, the Coons activated Alberto Ramos from the DL at the start of the series, ditching German Sanchez in an actual ditch next to I-205.

Game 1
MIL: SS Lockert – 3B V. Diaz – C J. Young – RF W. Trevino – LF Cambra – 2B Holder – CF Becerra – 1B B. Day – P J. West
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – 3B Nunley – RF Rodriguez – C Tovias – P Roberts

Mora and Nunley went to the corners with a pair of singles in the second, with Wilson Rodriguez’ sac fly to Willie Trevino bringing in the first run of the contest before Elias Tovias crashed a fastball over the leftfield fence to make it 3-0 rather soon. Roberts reached on an error and Ramos on a single, but the Coons would not tack on to the lead with two on and one out as Stalker flew out to center, and Vinny Diaz grabbed Jamieson’s liner. The Loggers would get on the board in the fourth when Trevino’s leadoff drive ran away from Abel Mora for a double, and the Loggers scored him on two more deep flies to center, and those were not the first ones that Roberts had given up in this game, either. Everybody could hit Roberts hard if they guessed right on where a ruler-straight fastball would arrive: Joe West doubled down the line with one out in the fifth, but serious ROTY bid Matt Lockert and Diaz guessed wrong and both struck out.

Bottom 5th, a chance to blow it open. Abel Mora appeared in the box with one out and three aboard – none the result of a base hit. Ramos and Harenberg reached on walks, while Brendan Day threw away Tim Stalker’s grounder trying to turn two. Joe West kept missing to Mora, who walked to push home Ramos, but then rung up Nunley and got Rodriguez to pop out. More offense came via Roberts in the sixth, but in a good way; he hit a gapper between Angelo Becerra and Willie Trevino for a 1-out triple, and after a Ramos walk and Stalker pop Matt Jamieson would actually single him in, 5-1. Roberts got through seven without getting bombed after all (although it remained close right until the end), but instead the Coons upped their lead by one when Matt Nunley took Travis Feider deep to left center in the bottom 7th. The Critters thereafter finished the game with just Stonecipher and Moesker; the former retired nobody, conceding a leadoff single to Diaz in the eighth before Moesker replaced him and retired six of the next seven to complete 27 outs. 6-1 Coons. Nunley 2-4, HR, RBI; Roberts 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, W (10-7) and 1-3, 3B;

Who, after his shambles start to the season, would have thought that Roberts not only would win ten without being beaten to death by general management first, but would also be the FIRST Raccoons starter to reach ten?

Game 2
MIL: SS Lockert – 3B V. Diaz – C J. Young – RF W. Trevino – LF Cambra – 1B Aquino – CF Wheeler – 2B Holder – P Colmenarez
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – C Tovias – RF Rodriguez – CF Magallanes – 3B Baldwin – P Delgadillo

The Loggers crushed Yusneldan for four in the opening inning, which started with a single by Matt Lockert and quickly spiraled out of control. Trevino singled in a run, Firmino Cambra reached on balls, and Wilson Aquino hit a 3-piece. The 4-5-6 batters also reached all with two outs in the third inning, then with Aquino singling in the Loggers’ fifth run. The Coons had nothing at that point and weren’t likely to get something against a 12-game loser in the middle of July… Well, actually they did score two in the bottom 3rd on a Delgadillo double (maybe he should bat more often than he pitches…), a Ramos triple, and finally a Stalker single, but that still didn’t solve the problem of ****ty pitching, which in Delgadillo’s case went on for 4.2 innings before he left with a man on first that Mauricio Garavito masterfully waved around to score with a walk issued to Cambra, then a 2-run double in the left-center gap by … Aquino. That crapper was now on six RBI and he would add a seventh marker with ANOTHER double in the seventh, then off Billy Brotman, who basically retired nobody once more. Their one-man wrecking crew was entirely enough to win the game, while the rest of the lineup struck out 13 times against Raccoons pitching, but had no visible effect on the scoreboard at all …! Colmenarez went into the ninth against harmless Raccoons who mustered only two more hits off him besides that brief rally in the third, right up until they were down by six and to their last out when Rafael Gomez batted for Magallanes and randomly cocked one outta here. Seems like he does have a pulse after all…? Zach Weaver replaced Colmenarez at that point and rung up Baldwin to end the game. 8-3 Loggers. Ramos 2-3, BB, RBI; Gomez (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI; Surginer 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Nick Valdes popped in unexpectedly, and he was already in a mood. I hear a big contract for baby seal furs fell through and it cost him millions…

Game 3
MIL: SS Lockert – 3B V. Diaz – C J. Young – LF Cambra – 1B Aquino – 2B Holder – RF St. Germaine – CF Becerra – P Contreras
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – 3B Nunley – RF Gomez – C Tovias – P O’Leary

O’Leary, who had been gutted and torched by the damn Elks the last time out, saw the minimum the first time through the order despite opening the game with a walk to Lockert and then a deep drive to right hit by Diaz. Gomez scratched that on off the fence, and Jim Young hit into a 6-4-3, while the next six went down in order entirely. It was however more or less the same for Contreras, who allowed a single to Harenberg, but Mora hit into a 6-4-3, and nobody else reached base the first time through the order. But Milwaukee quickly got on their horse; Diaz walked in the fourth, Young doubled, and the runners scored with a Cambra sac fly and a bloop single by Aquino, who became a great annoyance in a hurry. That was all the Loggers’ hits through six, while the Coons wasted doubles by Jamieson in the fourth, Nunley in the fifth, and then had one of those Alberto-does-it-all runs in the sixth when Ramos led off with a walk, stole second, scratched out third on a fly to left, and came in on Jamieson’s sac fly to Becerra. Yet it looked a lot like O’Losey would remain on the learing end of this game. The Raccoons just could – not – hit – the – dang – ball!! Bottom 7th; Mora led off and grounded to the right side, with Kaleb Holder committing an error to give the Coons the tying run on base. In desperation, Nunley was ordered to bunt, which he did well, but Gomez grounded out, merely advancing Mora to third base. And here came Elias Tovias, the happy strikeout, and hit a 365-foot blast to right out of thin air. That one flipped the score, and suddenly O’Leary was on the winning end of the contest…! Ricky Ohl obliterated the bottom of the order in the eighth, but the same could not be said for Josh Boles, who blew the win with a pinch-hit homer served up to Willie Trevino in the ninth… tied at three, the Coons sent the 5-6-7 batters up against Bobby Valencia, a mediocre righty, in the bottom 9th, where results could not have been less encouraging, and the 3-3 game went to extras. Jonathan Fleischer pitched two scoreless innings for nothing before Billy Brotman blew up another game. Cambra singled, stole second, then scored on a single by… who else? Aquino. Mike Wheeler hit a single that sent Aquino to third, although he then had to leave the game with an injury. However, former Raccoon Adam St. Germaine added an insurance run with a groundout. The Raccoons kept sucking in the bottom of the inning. While Nunley hit a single, that was all there was to their rally against Zach Weaver. 5-3 Loggers. Jamieson 1-2, BB, 2B; Nunley 2-4, 2B; O’Leary 7.0 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K; Fleischer 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

I struggle to think of a more useless assembly of pitchers and batters that his current one…

Raccoons (49-47) vs. Aces (49-48) – July 20-22, 2029

Despite the worst batting average, the Aces were still eighth in runs scored amongst CL teams, but were also giving up the fourth-most runs. Their run differential was a modest -20, while the Coons’ was still +14, but we were getting there quickly… We were also up 2-1 in the season series, but all these things were very much transient at this point.

Projected matchups:
Rin Nomura (4-6, 4.13 ERA) vs. Abramo Archibugi (11-6, 2.60 ERA)
Bobby Reed (0-0, 10.38 ERA) vs. Alex Ortiz (8-8, 5.67 ERA)
Mark Roberts (10-7, 3.35 ERA) vs. Franklin Alvarado (1-2, 2.83 ERA)

Probably no chance against the southpaw Alvarado, then an undercooked righty and a righty swingman past his due date despite the crisp ERA. Probably a hostile sweep in those cards.

In a year of just plugging holes with bodies of dubious temperature, the Coons recalled Bobby Reed for a spot start. This would actually be his first ABL game as a starting pitcher after six relief appearances between two teams, all of them ****.

Game 1
LVA: SS Baer – LF Dunlap – 3B Grigsby – RF Lynch – C Scheffer – 2B Donahue – CF Hatley – 1B Barrientos – P Archibugi
POR: SS Ramos – CF Magallanes – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – C Tovias – RF Rodriguez – 1B Gomez – 3B Gerster – P Nomura

Ramos walked, Magallanes singled, Stalker hit a sac fly, and Jamieson chipped in an RBI single to give the Raccoons two quick runs in the first inning. Nomura started out decently enough with two scoreless before a 38-minute rain delay was likely to throw him off kilter in the third inning. But the Aces stranded Ramiro Barrientos on second base in that inning as well as Philip Scheffer at the same haven in the fourth, and Nomura struck out the bottom of the order in the fifth, but at the same time the Critters couldn’t get a single hit until their hurler himself opened the bottom 5th with a grounder through between Evan Donahue and Todd Baer for a single. Crucially, while Ramos and Magallanes could not get the ball to fall in, Archibugi also threw a wild pitch that moved Nomura to second ahead of Tim Stalker beating the range of Nick Hatley in the gap with two outs, plating Nomura on the double to extend the lead to 3-0.

Nomura went through seven without allowing another base runner, but when the eighth rolled around left-handed batters Nick Hatley and Ramiro Barrientos hit a double and RBI single, respectively, pulling up the tying run with nobody out. The Coons scrambled for Kevin Surginer, who retired PH Tom Hawkins, Baer, and Tom Dunlap, but also abused the defense while doing so. Bottom 8th, Arturo Arellano tried to keep the Critters close, but couldn’t quite. Jamieson led off with a double, Tovias was walked intentionally, and then the Coons emptied their bench against the righty. Nunley grounded out, but advanced the runners to scoring position. Harenberg was walked intentionally, and Abel Mora had no place to go in Gerster’s spot and singled to center to tack on a run, 4-1. Shane Ivey was the last lefty bat off the bench, hitting for Surginer, and got a grounder past Baer for another RBI single. The top of the order hardly slowed the pace. Ramos walked to force in another run, and then right-hander Felipe Jacquez replaced the unlucky Arellano. Magallanes made the second out with a sac fly. Stalker singled past former Coons discard Mike Grigsby for another RBI single. The inning ended only with Jamieson’s fly out to Dunlap. 8-1 Critters. Stalker 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; Jamieson 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Mora (PH) 1-1, RBI; Ivey (PH) 1-1, RBI; Nomura 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, W (5-6) and 1-2;

Game 2
LVA: RF Quinn – LF Dunlap – SS A. Medina – CF Hatley – C Motley – 1B Barrientos – 3B Hawkins – P A. Ortíz – 2B Donahue
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – RF Rodriguez – C Ivey – P Reed

The gate to the Coons’ pen opened, Bobby Reed came out into the spotlight, and then the gate to the lions’ pen opened, and the lions poured out, tore out all his limbs and head, and then the smallest lion played ball with his blood-smeared torso, which was pretty much the story of Bobby Reed’s first and probably only major league start. He got ahead of nobody, he retired hardly anybody. The Aces had two hits, two walks, and four runs in the first inning, Ramiro Barrientos’ 2-out, 3-run homer a key ingredient for their sizable early lead. Even that took a few innings. The Coons foolishly let him bat in the bottom 3rd just after Shane Ivey had singled, the first Coon to reach base in the damn game. Reed bunted into a force. When the Aces loaded the bases with two outs in the fourth on two singles and a clueless walk to Justin Quinn, Reed was yanked, leaving the game with his head hanging down on his chest under a shower of boos and at least one drink hurled at him. Garavito got Dunlap to ground out to short, ending the inning, but the Coons still trailed by four and looked hopeless against yet another routine pushover. Singles by Harenberg and Mora in the bottom 4th were just enough to scratch out a hit, but Garavito gave it right back when he was taken deep by Andres Medina in the fifth. Two runs off Surginer in the seventh ended the game more or less, and that even came after the Coons had loaded them up with singles by Harenberg, Mora, and Rodriguez in the bottom 6th, but had not been able to push a run across. At some point Matt Jamieson would hit a sac fly down the road. It changed nothing. Alex Ortiz pitched a complete-game 10-hitter, whatever the **** that was. 7-2 Aces. Harenberg 2-4; Mora 2-4, RBI; Gerster (PH) 1-1; Magallanes (PH) 1-2; Stonecipher 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Bobby Reed was discarded again right away. The schedule allowed the Critters to go without a fifth starter until July 31, and they would make use of the opportunity. Out of any smart options, we recalled Sean Rigg…

Meanwhile, the Aces skipped Alvarado. Instead we’d get Chris Guyett (9-8, 3.34 ERA). The righty had shut out the Knights on five hits on Monday.

Game 3
LVA: SS Baer – LF Dunlap – 3B Grigsby – RF Lynch – C Scheffer – 2B Donahue – CF Hatley – 1B Barrientos – P Guyett
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – RF Gomez – C Tovias – P Roberts

Mark Roberts had the Coons’ first base hit in the game, a 1-out single to left in the third; never mind that he was a fireworks display waiting to happen in this game – depending on your definition of “deep out” the Aces hit up to five of those in addition to two actual doubles in the first three innings, at least he was pacing the damn offense! Ramos and Stalker hit singles to fill the bags for Jamieson, who struck out and left things to Harenberg, who ground out to Todd Baer like the ****ty fraud he was. Top 4th, leadoff walk to Kevin Lynch, then a real bomb hit by Philip Scheffer to left, and that was, presumably, the ballgame.

Roberts labored through six innings and a rain delay, getting neither strikeouts nor calm outs. Kevin Lynch homered in the sixth, making it 3-0, while the Coons were still wondering whether this performance would be deducted from their meal money. Stalker led off the bottom 6th with a single, and Jamieson and Harenberg again could not have been more useless if they have been carved from stone. Stalker was at second base with two outs, then was singled in by Matt Nunley, the 42nd RBI of the year for #42. Mora also singled, which suddenly put up the tying runs for Rafael Gomez, who lined softly to short, where Baer jumped up and reached, touched the ball, but deflected it into the gap. Tom Dunlap fell down when he tried to make a change of direction in the outfield, and Gomez ended up with a stupidly lucky 2-out, 2-run triple he had neither deserved nor expected. Tovias was walked intentionally, whereupon Wilson Rodriguez batted for Roberts, but popped out, sealing a no-decision for Roberts in a 3-3 tie.

Brotman came out for the seventh, struck out Barrientos, then conceded a single on an 0-2 pitch to Chris Guyett, because why not put the opposing pitcher on base when even his handedness matched yours? Damn you, Billy, I will write your mother that you ate a meatball sandwich if you don’t get out of this ****ing inning!! He didn’t. Tom Hawkins singled, Tom Dunlap grounded out to advance the runners, and then we scrambled for Ricky Ohl, who got Grigsby to ground out, ending the seventh. Ohl allowed a leadoff single but then struck out three in the eighth, and Matt Nunley hit a leadoff single off Guyett in the bottom of the inning. Since he was the go-ahead run, Baldwin ran for him. Mora grounded out, moving the runner to second, and from there Nunley would have scored just as handily on Rafael Gomez’ triple into the rightfield corner. Guyett had Tovias at 1-2 before he gave up an RBI double, 5-3, Ivey grounded out, but Tovias scored with two outs on a Ramos single to left-center for another tack-on run. Quirky Alberto stole second AND third base on consecutive pitches by Arturo Arellano, who had replaced Guyett and then surrendered the run on a Stalker single on the very next pitch. Jamieson grounded out, leaving the 7-3 lead to Sean Rigg in the ninth inning. The Aces went down in order. 7-3 Coons. Ramos 2-4, RBI; Stalker 3-5, RBI; Nunley 2-4, RBI; Gomez 2-4, 2 3B, 3 RBI;

In other news

July 16 – With a ruptured achilles tendon, SFW C Mike Thompson (.296, 11 HR, 44 RBI) is lost for the season.
July 17 – VAN OF Danny Tessmann (.259, 1 HR, 19 RBI) collects six base hits in the Canadiens’ 10-5 win over the Crusaders in New York. All but one of his hits go for singles, except for a triple in the seventh inning. Tessmann drives in three runs in the act. He becomes the 62nd player to collect six hits in one game, and the first Canadien to do so since Bob Butler in 2000.
July 17 – OCT RF/LF Luis Sagredo (.296, 14 HR, 35 RBI) could miss up to a month with a sprained ankle.
July 18 – DEN SP Tommy Weintraub (7-4, 2.27 ERA) will miss a month with a herniated disc.
July 19 – The Gold Sox pick up CL Michael Frank (4-3, 2.74 ERA, 22 SV) from the Stars in exchange for two prospects.
July 21 – 34-year-old OCT CF/3B Dave Garcia (.303, 11 HR, 59 RBI) reaches the 2,000 hits mark with a first-inning double off New York’s Mike Rutkowski (8-6, 3.08 ERA). The Thunder go on to lose the game, 4-1. Garcia, a 9-time All Star and twice the Player of the Year in the Continental League, and a legendarily brittle player on top of that, is a career .292 batter with 281 HR and 1,088 RBI. He has also swiped 162 bases in 16 seasons between the Bayhawks and Thunder.
July 22 – Let’s play 20: the Gold Sox beat the Capitals, 6-5, in two full games and two more innings of baseball, with Denver’s utility Trey Rock (.295, 1 HR, 21 RBI) chipping in five hits and 3 RBI. This includes both the 2-out RBI single in the ninth that sends the game to extra innings to begin with as well as the 2-out walkoff RBI single that ends it more than three hours later.

Complaints and stuff

As far as 3-3 weeks go, this one was pretty tough on the old nerves, heart, and stomach. (only now remembers to hide the three empty Capt’n Coma bottles behind the desk)

Alberto Ramos returned and immediately was a major disruption again. He had only six hits on the week, but walked nine times and swiped six bags, but he is not in the lead anymore after his DL stint. He sits at 35, while Mario Pizano has made it up to 41 with Indy.

Tim Stalker’s last-out RBI single on Sunday put him into sole possession of the team RBI lead. Harenberg could not be less of a clutch batter, but who was the last clutch first baseman the Coons had? Tetsu Osanai!? … I never complained much about Al Martin, now that I think of it… so it is probably between those two…

Wilson Aquino, who shredded the Critters for 8 RBI during the midweek series, was on waivers over the All Star break. I thought “what a scum” and passed.

This week, the Miners offered to trade back Omar Alfaro and cash for a minor leaguer and last year’s second-rounder Steve Florence. I think I would rather have a shard of glass stuck in my urethra; alternatively add Damani Knight back to the rotation. Or in terms of outfielders, re-sign the Coons’ starting rightfielder on Opening Day, Pedro Sánz.

Opening Day in 1977 that is.

Fun Fact: Prior to Tessmann’s decryable heroics, then-Raccoon Terry Kopp had been the most recent player to connect six times in one game, doing so in a 9-8 loss to the Bayhawks on September 20, 2025.

Among the four other Elks to have hit safely half a dozen times in one game is David Brewer, who did the honors to the Blue Sox in June of 1989, also in a losing effort. While Brewer would of course later be that HUGE signing (6-yr, $9M used to be ginormous) for the Raccoons before the 1995 season, he also replaced a Raccoon as most-recent six-hitter: Daniel Hall, who churned out six against the Falcons in April of 1989.

(sigh) Daniel Hall…!