[Westheim]

Seriously, how do you make this team better? The pitching is nearly flawless, as good as you can normally hope to have. But even the offense has stopped being at just-kill-me level more than a month ago. Could they score more runs? They damn hell yes could. But the shortstop position aside perhaps there is hardly a spot where you can drop in a Ron Alston type of player and sound the horn for a charge on the Titans. True, true; Cookie isn't exactly setting the world on fire. If you really want to do something, find a left-handed slugger to drop into the outfield mix.

Of course there is the latent and long-standing problem of every slugger dropped into the mix in Portland stopping to slug immediately. Just ask Jon Gonzalez, who hit 24 bombs even with the Bayhawks, barely matched that output last season, and doesn’t look like he will come close this year…

All Star Game

While the Scorpions' Pablo Sanchez is named the MVP of the All Star Game, his Federal League team falls to the Continental League All Stars, 3-0. Sanchez picks up two hits and two walks, but that is already a good chunk of the FL's total output. The Thunder's Dave Garcia plates VAN Alex Torres with a sac fly in the first inning for the winning run. Ruben Luna of the Knights hits a home run.

In terms of Raccoons making their presence felt, Mark Roberts pitched a scoreless inning and struck out three, while Jon Gonzalez went 0-for-2 after starting on first base. Ricky Ohl pitched two thirds of an inning, allowing two base hits. Vince Devereaux was injured and could not take part in the contest.

Raccoons (53-37) @ Canadiens (39-50) – July 17-20, 2025

Back to the business end of the game, the Raccoons had to travel to hostile territory to face the damn Elks, whom they had beaten three out of four in Portland the previous week and were 5-3 against overall this season, which was also as many wins as they had managed in all of 2024 against them. Vancouver still had bad pitching, unsurprisingly, now sitting tenth in runs allowed and bullpen ERA, and 11th in starters' ERA. Their offense ranked fifth, with a -65 run differential.

Projected matchups:
Jack Sander (8-4, 3.24 ERA) vs. Antonio Muniz (4-9, 4.44 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (4-5, 3.17 ERA) vs. Bryce Sudar (4-6, 3.46 ERA)
Mark Roberts (10-4, 2.51 ERA) vs. Fernando Estrada (4-4, 4.77 ERA)
Graham Wasserman (2-8, 3.36 ERA) vs. Greg Becker (4-6, 4.26 ERA)

There is as usual some guesswork involved in getting their rotation straight for this series, but we expect both of their left-handers, Muniz and Becker, to appear against us.

Game 1
POR: LF Spencer – CF Mora – C Tovias – 1B Gonzalez – RF Borg – 2B Otis – 3B Nunley – SS Bullock – P Sander
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 1B Luckett – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – RF Wojnarowski – 2B Gura – SS Ra. Mendez – C Tanzillo – P A. Muniz

Matt Otis taking ball four with the bases loaded pushed a run across in the first inning for Portland, although Matt Nunley was then called out looking at strike three to end the inning before things could really snowball. Speaking of snowballing innings, the bottom 1st really looked like a disaster in the making for Sander, who drilled Elijah Luckett and had a second runner put on base by a Nunley error, but somehow the Elks left runners in scoring position in the inning. They didn't in the third inning, though, which saw a 2-out string of base hits with a Luckett single, Alex Torres RBI double, and then a 2-run homer to left center by Tony Coca. Down 3-1, the Raccoons could hardly have done less to get back into the game. While Sander somehow made it through the middle innings, the Raccoons got consecutive base hits from Matt Otis in the fourth and seventh innings. The fourth-inning single was incinerated by Nunley hitting into a double play (good game for Nunley…), but the second time around he managed to get a ball over the head of Raul Mendez for another single. Two on, no outs, and Daniel Bullock at the plate, which was not your prototypical threat. Alfaro batted for him and flew out to left, and then Delgado batted for Sander and bounced to Mendez for a double play. Elias Tovias hit into a double play in the eighth, and while Greg Borg drew a ninth-inning walk off Ivan Morales to bring up the tying run for the 25th time, neither Otis nor Nunley could get the ball to fall in anymore. 3-1 Canadiens. Mora 2-4; Otis 2-3, BB, RBI;

As far as hapless losses go, this one was pretty amazing. We had seven hits to their six. Our hits all were singles. They had four for extra bases, stole three bases, and generally ran circles around us.

**** it, Coons, GET YOUR **** TOGETHER!!

They didn't get their **** together on Friday, however, which saw steady rain and a postponement into a Saturday double header. Both teams stuck to their starters for the opener.

Game 2
POR: 2B Spencer – CF Mora – C Tovias – 1B Gonzalez – 3B Nunley – RF Alfaro – LF Carmona – SS Bullock – P Gutierrez
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 1B Luckett – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – SS Calfee – RF Chaplin – C Holliman – 2B Gura – P Sudar

The Raccoons again scored a run in the first, this time on a sac fly by Nunley to center, before leaving the bases loaded. Only Jarod Spencer had an actual base hit in the inning, singling to open the game. Mora walked, Gonzalez got nicked, Alfaro walked, but Cookie grounded out to the keystone schreck, Ted Gura. It took the Elks even less to flip the score this time, with Gutierrez issuing a leadoff walk to Tony Coca in the second, soon followed by Ryan Holliman's homer to left-center after consecutive strikeouts to John Calfee and Mike Chaplin. The next few innings rekindled the bad memories of Thursday, with Jon Gonzalez drawing a leadoff walk in the third and Nunley smacking right into a double play afterwards, but desperate times would bring out the real heroes and their desperate measures: in the top of the fifth inning, Jarod Spencer uncorked a leadoff jack to leftfield, tying the score at two with his first homer this season, and his fourth overall in almost 2,000 major league plate appearances. And that wasn't all. Suddenly Sudar lacked sharpness – okay, he had lacked that from the beginning, sitting on four walks and one strikeout – and was taken deep right away again by Abel Mora, giving Portland a 3-2 lead. Sudar lost Tovias to a walk, then conceded a Gonzalez single. Nunley smacked one up the middle out of the reach of Gura's sticky fingers, and the ball went into centerfield for an RBI single. Nope, the dork to hit into a double play would turn out to be Cookie, ending the inning with a grounder to Gura and leaving the score at 4-2 against the shaking and shaken Sudar.

In a perfect world, Rico Gutierrez would have held on to the lead for a bit longer, but this was not a perfect world, and it was Vancouver precisely, which was as far from perfect as a town could be. Gutierrez fell and couldn't get up again in the sixth inning, issuing walks to Jonathan Morales and Alex Torres before throwing a 2-out wild pitch and getting incinerated on Coca's game-tying 2-run double to right-center, and then Calfee's 2-run homer that put the disgusting Elks ahead, 6-4. The Coons engorged themselves on another double play in the seventh, this time on Tovias, and generally looked like losers through and through not only after Tony Coca's 2-run homer off Jimmy Lee in the eighth inning. 8-4 Canadiens. Spencer 2-5, HR, RBI; Mora 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Gonzalez 1-1, 2 BB;

But we made them use four relievers in this game! Now we have them RIGHT where we wanted them all along! (fires half-empty Capt'n Coma bottle shattering against the apartment wall)

Game 3
POR: LF Borg – 2B Otis – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – C Delgado – SS Bullock – CF Metts – P Roberts
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 1B Luckett – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – SS Calfee – RF Chaplin – C Tanzillo – 2B Gura – P F. Estrada

If the previous games were anything to go buy, the Coons' two runs on Alfaro's 2-out single through Morales in the first inning where nothing but the kiss of death for yet another game in Elktown. Nunley and Gonzalez scored on the play before Delgado struck out. Roberts didn't implode at first sight, which was progress, and struck out three in the first two innings, which didn't include removing Ted Ghou- eh, Gura from the game with a blazing fastball right into the second baseman's forearm. Tom Fitzsimmons had to replace Gura, who was taken for evaluation. The Elks DID score a run in the third inning, though, which began with clean singles to either flank by Morales and Luckett, putting runners on the corners and allowing Torres to plate Morales with a sac fly to Greg Borg, who brought in a rather weak throw. But Roberts nursed his first-inning lead through three innings, which already made him a prime contender for being our starting pitcher of the week.

While the Raccoons merrily stranded runners on base and hit into double plays (Nunley in the fifth…), Roberts still held on to the 2-1 lead in the bottom 5th when once again and as always everything that possibly could indeed came up tails. In a remarkable sequence that sent me cowering under the couch, the Elks tied the game on an Alex Torres homer (#18 of the year, just sayin'), went ahead on a Tony Coca homer (#17, just sayin'), got Calfee on in a full-count walk, and then got Calfee in on Mike Chaplin's line drive homer. Under the couch, I screamed hard enough to lose consciousness for a while, and when I regained that against my will, it was the seventh inning of a 6-3 game, with the Elks' former Coons farmhand Dan Moon standing surrounded by three Raccoons on base and Jon Gonzalez batting with one out. Goddamnit, Jon! Be goddamn useful even ONCE IN YOUR LIFETIME!! I squealed sharply when Gonzalez put a 2-0 pitch in play towards the hot corner. Morales couldn't react quickly enough and the ball went into leftfield for a 2-run single, cutting the gap to 6-5, which saw no improvement anymore in the inning thanks to Alfaro hitting into a fielder's choice and Delgado grounding out to the pitcher.

The Elks were on top of Kevin Surginer, who had replaced the "All Star" Roberts in the fifth inning, in the bottom 7th. A single and walk posed a 2-out threat, with Billy Brotman coming on to face the left-handed pinch-hitter Brian Wojnarowski, who walked in a full count. Another full count occurred to Morales at the top of the order with the bags now full, but Morales struck out. The Coons did absolutely nothing in the eighth, but the ****ing Elks did. Luckett's leadoff walk off Brotman was to get them going, and Vince Devereaux conceded an RBI triple to Coca and a run-scoring groundout to Calfee to restore a 3-run deficit. Not that it mattered, with Ivan Morales retiring the top of the order 1-2-3 in the ninth… 8-5 Canadiens. Otis 2-5; Gonzalez 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Bullock 2-4, 2B, RBI;

The smothered and squished Raccoons activated Tim Stalker from his rehab assignment for Sunday, while deleting Dwayne Metts (.115 and 0-for-4 in this game) from the roster.

Game 4
POR: LF Spencer – 2B Otis – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – C Delgado – 3B Bullock – P Wasserman
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 2B Gura – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – RF Luckett – C Tanzillo – P Becker

Thanks to Abel Mora's double play grounder that erased Spencer and his leadoff single, the Raccoons would not score in the opening inning for the first time in the series. GOOD. PROGRESS! While Wasserman retired the first eight Elks before inexplicably walking Becker on four pitches, the Coons had another double play by Bullock in the third inning, which cost run(s) there given that the Coons came up with 2-out singles by Wasserman and Spencer AFTER that. Otis would eventually ground out to short to strand those pesky runners. On to the fourth, where Mora and Gonzalez went to the corners with a pair of soft singles to begin the frame. Alfaro grounded to short, Calfee to Gura, to Adan Myles, double play! GODDAMNIT!! Never mind that Mora scored on the play, the first run in the game, but STOP HITTING THE BALL TO THE ****ING SHORTSTOP!! Tim Stalker wouldn't hit the ball to the ****ing shortstop, instead belting a 2-out homer to increase the lead to 2-0, but the feeling of inescapable doom and getting swept in hostile territory only got worse in the fifth inning when Graham Wasserman hit a solo homer off Becker.

Wasserman also held on to a no-hitter for a notable amount of time, but had it broken up by Morales with a 2-out single in the sixth inning, only the second runner for the damn Elks. Gura struck out, the fourth trophy on Wasserman's belt in this game, and his pitch count was in good shape, too, through six. About all of this changed in the seventh inning, which saw Torres draw a leadoff walk, Coca getting nicked, and Calfee leg out an infield single, all with nobody out. Raul Mendez – injury replacement for Adan Myles – lined out to Bullock at the hot corner to keep all runners pinned for the moment, while the Coons conceded a run on Luckett's grounder to the right side, Calfee being forced out at second base while Torres scored, 3-1. Chris Tanzillo singled to right, plating another run, before Becker struck out to finally end the dismal inning with a 3-2 score. The Elks knocked Wasserman out with Morales' leadoff single in the bottom 8th, bringing on Vince D instead. Another liner to Bullock, a soaring fly to Alfaro, and a grounder to Otis, and somehow the Raccoons made it out of the inning with the lead. Maybe an insurance run in the ninth? How about …? No, Greg Becker told them to get out, lining himself up for a complete-game loss unless the Elks' 5-6-7 batters could upend Jonathan Snyder, which was not unheard of. Snyder retired the first two before Elijah Luckett singled to center, but Tanzillo couldn't catch up with the fastballs and struck out, allowing the Coons to barely scratch by a sweep. 3-2 Coons. Spencer 3-4; Wasserman 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (3-8) and 2-3, HR, RBI;

Of course the Raccoons' chances in the division were murdered anyway in this series…

In other news

July 15 – In a visible move of giving up, the Blue Sox trade SP Juan Muniz (7-11, 2.87 ERA) to the Warriors for vaunted #9 prospect SP Chris Pyles.
July 16 – The Loggers acquire RF/1B/2B Ivan Flores (.296, 6 HR, 46 RBI) from the Cyclones in exchange for RF/LF Danny Munn (.216, 2 HR, 8 RBI) and a prospect they only picked up nine days earlier in the Alex Hichez trade.
July 17 – The Thunder add pitching with Denver's SP Mike Cavallin (6-6, 4.02 ERA), for whom they trade a prospect to the Gold Sox.
July 18 – BOS SP Jeremy Waite (4-8, 3.43 ERA) unfurls a 1-hit shutout against the Indians, claiming an 8-0 victory. Indy's lone hit is a pinch-hit single by John Staebell (.264, 2 HR, 18 RBI) to lead off the ninth inning.
July 19 – A solo home run by PIT C/1B J.J. Henley (.307, 16 HR, 66 RBI) in the 17th inning is the difference in the Miner's 7-6 win over the Rebels.
July 20 – NYC SP Mike Rutkowski (8-7, 3.69 ERA) heads to the DL with a torn meniscus and will probably only return towards the end of the season.
July 20 – For the second time in their 4-game series, the Indians amount only to one hit, this time by Mike Green (.201, 6 HR, 25 RBI), against the Titans' Morgan Shepherd (13-1, 2.50 ERA), who claims the 6-0 victory, and Jose Fuentes (3-1, 3.45 ERA).

Complaints and stuff

(screams incoherently) DAAAH!! ****ING … ****… THE DAMN … ELKS … WAAAACKK …!! (waves with both arms, howling, until Maud brings Honeypaws for comfort)

(squeezes the stuffed toy raccoon tightly while slowly rocking back and forth)

(sigh)

Season over, by the way. No need to dole out prospects for "improvements" like Terry Kopp. Has anybody seen Terry Kopp lately?

The postponement on Friday and double header on Saturday will not seriously throw us into disarray, because we will have the day off on Monday and can rearrange the rotation at our leisure. The road trip continues next week into Milwaukee and Oklahoma City. More grueling travel in August, by the way, where the Raccoons will only have nine home games, and no more than three in a row, playing the Falcons at home at the start of the month, then a 3-game set against the Capitals from the 18th to the 20th, and three against the Condors right at the end of the month, travelling in between.

We signed the last player we really wanted in the IFA period, much-hunted Izzy Chavez. The Izzy stands for Isidoro, I am told, but we are still waiting to collect all the documents on him. Oh I'm sure it's gonna be fine.

SP Izzy Chavez - $640k - SIGNED
SP Raffaello Sabre - $162k - SIGNED
SP Melvin Ortíz - $96k - SIGNED
SS Miguel Ortíz - $21k - SIGNED
SP Jesus Barajas - $11k - SIGNED
TOTAL Spent $930k

We have obviously blasted through the soft cap here, which was $423,200, meaning that we also had to fork over another $506,800 in tax, bringing the total expenditures to a daunting $1.44M. We will not be able to sign any player for more than roughly $36k next season. I claim that the money was well invested; Chavez is rated a 20 stuff by OSA.

NEXT JONNY TONER??

Fun Fact: Graham Wasserman's home run on Sunday was the third of his career, the other two coming years ago during his Bayhawks days.

You know where this is going, right? Wasserman's first career homer came against then-Condor Casey Hally in 2018, but on May 26, 2021, the Raccoons were playing a rubber game at the Bay where Hector Santos (his last season as a Critter) in the second inning allowed a double to Errol Spears, a single to Tyler Gooch, and then hit Gerardo Gonzalez, eventually pulling up Wasserman with the bases loaded before presenting him with a ball on a stick. Wasserman's grand slam caused some mild depression and was also the eventual margin of victory (8-4) for San Francisco.