[Westheim]

Raccoons (21-17) vs. Titans (26-12) – May 19-22, 2025

The Raccoons had so far avoided the thrice-defending champions from Boston in this season, but it was time to face their maker now with a 4-game set that was likely to erase the Coons' fake winning record. Boston ranked second in runs scored, third in runs allowed, and even this early in the season – the first quarter post would be reached in this set – they already had a stunning +73 run differential, and that despite their starter putting up a rather pedestrian 4.11 ERA. Their pen, however, was the best in the league.

Projected matchups:
Graham Wasserman (1-3, 3.02 ERA) vs. Alberto Molina (6-1, 2.97 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (2-1, 3.95 ERA) vs. Morgan Shepherd (5-1, 3.12 ERA)
Mark Roberts (3-3, 3.19 ERA) vs. Ian Rutter (2-3, 5.06 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (2-3, 3.54 ERA) vs. Julio San Pedro (2-0, 3.94 ERA)

All righties here, not that this was going to help us anything. "Crummy" was a term lacking precision for the Raccoons' hopelessness against the Titans in recent history, with only 16 wins accumulated against them in the last three years, including seven in '24.

Further limiting their chances was Elias Tovias moving to the 15-day DL with a concussion, leaving Tony Delgado in charge, while 28-year-old trash heap signing Chris Mendez, a Mexican right-handed batter, would make his major league debut at some point after being called up to replace Tovias. Just look at that lineup…..

Game 1
BOS: CF Reichardt – C Leonard – 1B R. Amador – RF Braun – SS Spataro – 2B Kane – LF St. Germaine – 3B Corder – P A. Molina
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – C Delgado – SS Stalker – 2B Armetta – P Wasserman

Calling ballgame as soon as Adam St. Germaine plated Keith Spataro with a groundout in the second inning was not entirely unreasonable; it gave the Titans a 1-0 lead on the routinely shaky Wasserman, and the Raccoons' lineup was even on paper not likely to hurt a fly, let alone a legitimate stud pitcher like Molina. The Coons amounted to all but two singles through five innings, and although Wasserman kept stalking from inning to inning without absorbing more damage, and even had Adrian Reichardt in deathlock with two strikeouts in his first two at-bats (until he doubled in the fifth…), the Raccoons couldn't have felt further away from a potential comeback from the cavernous depths of 1-0 until first Wasserman and then Abel Mora hit singles to the right side in the bottom of the sixth inning, which brought up total threat Jon Gonzalez and his .207 stick that was surely going to give him a huge pay day at some point. The home crowd stared in disbelief before remembering they had to cheer when first Gonzalez, and then Omar Alfaro as well, hit liners to right-center that fell for RBI singles each, flipping the score in Portland's favor.

Not that this did anything to upend the Titans. Adam Corder hit a single in the seventh, Wasserman was replaced by Vince Devereaux, but the pesky Reichardt hit a game-tying single to centerfield with two outs anyway. Cue Jon Gonzalez though, who appeared in the box in the bottom 8th against Molina, who had allowed a leadoff single up the middle to Matt Nunley, who was forced by Abel Mora's roller to second base, but Mora then swiped second base. Gonzalez singled sharply to left, and Mora was sent in blind disregard for Adam St. Germaine's murder arm… AND BEAT THE THROW!! The Titans (like many other teams) had an inexplicable fear of Omar Alfaro, a .191 batter at this point, and walked him intentionally, bringing up Justin Gerace pinch-hitting for Delgado, and Molina kept tuckering along, but hung a breaking ball for his 120th offering of the game that Gerace clocked for 375 feet over the rightfield wall, causing sudden frenzy among the home crowd. The Titans, down by a slam, would not bow down easily and put runners in scoring position against Jimmy Lee in the ninth, but Keith Leonard's grounder to Tim Stalker eventually sealed their fate in this opener. 6-2 Furballs!! Gonzalez 3-4, 2 RBI; Alfaro 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; Gerace (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; Wasserman 6.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K and 1-2;

Justin Hess picked up his first Raccoons W in relief here, while Chris Mendez made his major league debut in the ninth inning as replacement for Delgado (who had been hit for by Gerace), but didn't get a chance to bat yet.

Game 2
BOS: CF Reichardt – C Leonard – RF Braun – SS Spataro – 2B Kane – LF St. Germaine – 1B Cornejo – 3B R. West – P Shepherd
POR: RF Carmona – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – LF Gerace – SS Stalker – C Delgado – 2B Otis – P Chavez

There was no late upset, nor an early one on Tuesday. Instead everybody got to witness a first-class waffling of Jesus Chavez at the bats of the Titans, who amazingly wrecked him for 11 hits – all singles! – in 3.1 innings only, plating seven runs, all earned, two in the first, two in the second, and three in the fourth. The last two scored on Ricky Ohl's watch, who struck out Keith Spataro after taking over with runners in scoring position and one out, but then got beat on the Titans' 12th single, a dying dove that dropped into shallow left like a real hero, and scored both runners. That put the Titans ahead by six, 7-1, with the Raccoons having plated a single counter on Tony Delgado's sac fly in the bottom of the second inning. Another run came onto the board in the bottom of the fifth, in which Shepherd conceded a walk to Matt Otis as well as singles to Cookie and Nunley with two outs, but it was still 7-2. Shepherd was still mostly in control and didn't start to look shaky until the eighth inning, which he entered with four hits and six strikeouts, but that inning started with singles by Nunley and Mora and then a balk that moved them into scoring position with still nobody out. This was a nominal chance after all! Yet, in the end, the only run that the Raccoons scored between the appearances of Gonzalez, Gerace, and Stalker, came on a wild pitch by Shepherd… After that, the gently quietly disappeared through the backdoor and allowed the series to be evened at one. 7-3 Titans. Nunley 2-4, RBI; Borg (PH) 1-1; Ohl 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K; Lee 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K;

Game 3
BOS: CF Reichardt – LF Kuramoto – RF Braun – C T. Robinson – 2B R. West – 3B Corder – 1B St. Germaine – SS Spataro – P Rutter
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – 2B Otis – SS Jurek – C Mendez – P Roberts

Yasuhiro Kuramoto's single and a walk to Adam Braun almost served to unravel Roberts in the first when Rhett West drove a hard fly to right. And you could say about Omar Alfaro what you wanted, but he did know how to play D, at least when going backwards. Chris Mendez, behind the plate in the majors for the second time in his 28-year-old life, also had a tough start to this game, allowing Adam Corder to reach at the start of the second inning by sticking his glove into Corder's bat's path, resulting in a catcher's interference call on strike three to Corder. But Mendez made up for it; when Corder tried to swipe second during Adam St. Germaine's at-bat, Mendez threw him out.

The Furballs started calmly before ramping up their act. Cookie Carmona hit a 1-out single in the bottom of the third inning, only their second base knock in the game. Nunley doubled to right, but Cookie was held against Adam Braun's arm of death, which was a wise choice given that Abel Mora hit a real bomb to right-center for his seventh homer of the year, and the Coons jumped out to a 3-0 lead on Ian Rutter. Not that the Titans were backing up here – Roberts was in serious trouble as soon as the following half-inning. Singles by Tim Robinson and Corder, and an open base for the .321 batter Spataro with two outs prompted an intentional walk that got Rutter up, and Rutter sure got his money's worth from Roberts, running a full count before finally striking out to strand the tying runs.

The Coons, concerned with an aching bullpen in this long string of games and especially after the sub-par outing by Chavez the previous day, squeezed out Roberts for 119 pitches in this game, which still only amounted to seven innings of 3-hit shutout baseball owing to all the long counts he ran. Some relievers like Jimmy Lee weren't available at all for this game, but the eighth was expertly done away with by Vince Devereaux, who yielded a single to Adam Braun, but also struck out the other three batters he faced, and Jonathan Snyder made sure to end this game quickly, and saw off West, Corder, and St. Germaine on nine pitches and in order, finishing up with a K to St. Germaine. 3-0 Furballs! Mora 1-3, HR, 3 RBI; Alfaro 2-4; Roberts 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 6 K, W (4-3);

The caught-stealing on Corder aside, Chris Mendez' first day at the plate saw him go 0-for-3 with a strikeout and a double play hit into.

This W moved the Raccoons into second place in the division, four games behind the Titans, who were probably also still trying to figure out why the pesky Coons' intestines weren't smeared all over the outfield fences yet.

Game 4
BOS: CF Reichardt – LF Kuramoto – RF Braun – C T. Robinson – 2B R. West – 3B Corder – 1B St. Germaine – SS Spataro – P San Pedro
POR: 3B Nunley – 2B Otis – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – LF Gerace – SS Stalker – C Delgado – P Gutierrez

Maybe Tim Robinson's third-inning slam could get the smearing part done given that it erased a Coons lead and put Gutierrez into a difficult to erase 4-2 hole. The Raccoons had flashed doubles early, one by Omar Alfaro being worth two 2-out runs in the first inning, plating Mora (walk) and Gonzalez (double), but at the same time displayed some pretty indefensible defense. Gonzalez made an error in the first that Rico shipped around (just barely), and Otis flubbed a potential double play grounder by Kuramoto in that bedeviled third. Adrian Reichardt had singled beforehand, and Braun coaxed a walk out of an unnerved Gutierrez before Robinson belched a fastball close to 400 feet. Three runs were earned, a total soon matched by the Coons with another 2-out RBI knock by dangerous pitchers' menace Omar Alfaro, this one scoring Otis. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.

Gutierrez and the rest of the crew were a little bit less ****ty in the top halves of the middle innings, holding the Titans to the runs they already had, while Gutierrez struck out the 2-3-4-5 batters in order between the fifth and sixth innings (all right-handed!) for some personal consolation, but neither did the team break any bones racing to make up the remaining deficit (and please, dear god, no, no more broken bones!). Ohl, Surginer, and Brotman held the fort in the 2.2 innings inside regulation that Gutierrez couldn't tick off, and the Titans remained only one tantalizing run out in front of us. Left-hander Brent Beene was sent into the ninth inning, but would face easy pickings in the 6-7-8 area in the batting order. Greg Borg batted for the 0-for-3 Gerace, but flew out to Braun, which was already the closest the Coons got to a base runner. Stalker struck out, and Tony Delgado grounded out cautiously to Mike Kane. 4-3 Titans. Otis 2-4; Alfaro 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; Gutierrez 6.1 IP, 3 H, 4 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, L (2-4);

I don't usually give shoutouts when you give up four runs, three earned, but Gutierrez had four awesome innings and two in which the defense hit him in the knees from behind with the bats they oughta put to better use…

Raccoons (23-19) vs. Condors (24-16) – May 23-25, 2025

Oh look, another genuinely good team coming to town! Well, good was a selective thing with those first-place-by-half-a-game Condors, who had a somewhat potent offense that liked the long ball, scoring the fifth-most runs with a bottom-three batting average, and they also had some decent bullpen, but they had the worst rotation in the Continental League with a 4.62 ERA. They were eight games over .500, but they were actually one run under even. Even the shill Coons shelled out a +11 run differential. In 2024, the Coons had ended a 3-year losing streak against the Condors, coming back with a 5-4 effort in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Jack Sander (5-1, 1.67 ERA) vs. Jeff Little (2-4, 8.00 ERA)
Graham Wasserman (1-3, 2.98 ERA) vs. Zach Weaver (2-0, 3.38 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (2-2, 5.01 ERA) vs. George Griffin (3-3, 6.46 ERA)

We were getting a bit of the worst the Condors' rotation had to offer. Jeff Little's struggles were mysterious. Their only southpaw starter, aged 24, had pitched to a 3.14 ERA last season across 180.2 innings, walking 3.2/9 and whiffing 8.4/9. Those latter numbers were nearly the same this year. No, the devil was in the defense here. Opposing teams were cracking him up with an outlandish .407 BABIP, something I had never really seen for a guy with 36 innings under his belt.

The other two guys were right-handed, but the Condors had been off on Thursday and could skip anybody to bring Mark Morrison (3-2, 2.72 ERA) into the series.

Game 1
TIJ: 2B B. Rojas – SS Sanks – LF Bednarski – 3B M. Matias – RF O. Larios – CF Hatley – C Zarate – 1B Boggs – P Little
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Otis – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – CF Borg – C Delgado – P Sander

When following Shane Sanks' first-inning single Jack Sander hit a 38-year-old Mike Bednarski in the ribs, most of the assembled crowd didn't particularly care, while I cheered and yelled encouragement through the open window of my office high above the first base line. It had been almost ten years since Bednarski had been a Raccoon. I still feverishly resented him. On the flip side, the Condors scored a run in the inning thanks to the hit-by-pitch, with Omar Larios' 2-out grounder getting through between Nunley and Stalker for an RBI single. In any case, this week's Jack Sander was not the Jack Sander (or his impostor) from weeks past, and the Condors were encroaching on him relentlessly anyway. Another run scored in the second on three singles, Bob Rojas plating Danny Zarate, while Robby Boggs was thrown out at home plate for good measure, and Greg Borg also threw out Larios at home plate in the third inning!

While Sander was chewed up after five innings of three Condors runs and 101 pitches, the worst was yet to come, and we were not referring to a no-hitter by the boy with the ERA of EIGHT whom the Raccoons couldn't touch with a 30-foot pole. No, Nunley had singled in the first inning, and that one was off the table. Never mind that that single was ALL the Coons had on the board. No, the worst came by the sixth inning, which saw Kevin Surginer take over and completely fork the nominally close game. Danny Zarate and Robby Boggs opened the inning with singles to go to the corners before Little bunted back to the mound and Surginer managed to throw that ball away for a run-scoring error. Up by four and with runners on first and second, the Condors continued to play the slow card, with Bob Rojas also asked to bunt. Oh, and it worked, now with Delgado the idiot that made a stupid play, trying to nip Boggs at third base, in vain as it turned out. Now the bags were full with nobody out, and the best thing was that this meltdown had occurred inside of only SIX pitches. Shane Sanks drove in two with a single over Otis, and Mike Matias plated one with another single. You may notice the absence of Mike Bednarski from the hit parade, but COME – ON!! Have you EVER seen Bednarski jump on an opportunity!!?? Surginer was banished with four runs, three earned, on his ledger, and Justin Hess took over, ending the inning on a double play of the 8-2 variety on the left-handed Omar Larios. Greg Borg was ON FIRE!!

So were some of the other Coons, too, in this 7-0 massacre, although mostly it was only their tails. Cookie hit a single in the sixth. Borg hit a single in the eighth. That was the extent of their rallying against Jeff Little, who one day at his Hall of Fame induction would relate how he already considered going back to college to get a proper job before he was 31-year-old AAA washout, but then those silly Raccoons came along and got him back on track with eight innings of shutout ball. Markus Bates spilled a leadoff walk to Cookie in the bottom 9th, also a wild pitch and singles to Nunley and Gonzalez, which was as much support as was necessary to score Cookie these days, and also everything the Coons mustered in this damn game. 8-1 Condors. Nunley 2-4;

So much for run differentials. Ours now: +4. Theirs: +6.

I will never say a bad word about another team again.

Game 2
TIJ: 2B B. Rojas – SS Sanks – RF O. Larios – 3B M. Matias – LF Bednarski – 1B McNeal – CF Boggs – C Zarate – P Griffin
POR: LF Carmona – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – 2B Jurek – C Delgado – P Wasserman

The Condors indeed skipped pitchers, but the mind still boggled as Griffin with the 6+ ERA was the skipper rather than the skippee, but there was probably some devious, ugly-feathered plan to that, hatched after the Coons had been utterly dominated by a guy with an 8.00 ERA in the series opener. In the event, Griffin was the first to allow a run thanks to a second-inning leadoff jack by "Sleeping Beauty" Gonzalez, his fifth of the year – what a pity – but Griffin appeared to get instant revenge with a leadoff double up the leftfield line in the third inning. Bob Rojas flew out to left, Shane Sanks grounded out to third, and then Larios singled, but Griffin was held at third base, where he had a good view as Mike Matias struck out to strand them on the corners. It was on Danny Zarate to tie the game with a 2-out triple in the fourth inning that plated Mike Bednarski after all. Tijuana zoomed ahead in the fifth inning. Nobody on, Larios grounded a ball at Nunley, who was absent-mindedly picking all the good bits from his king-sized bucket with chicken wings and drums over there at third base, and when the ball came at him casually picked it up, found it inedible, and tossed it away. That came back to hurt, with Matias hitting a 400-footer right afterwards for an unearned 2-piece that split the tie and put the Condors 3-1 ahead. Through five, the Raccoons were still looking for a second base hit, let alone a second run, and when Jurek drew a walk, Delgado was quick to ground into an inning-ending double play.

The few Coons highlights there were were mostly of defensive nature, like Abel Mora throwing out Larios at third base in the seventh inning, and maybe this could inspire them? Abel went on to lead off the bottom 7th with a single to center, the Coons' SECOND hit in the game. Gonzalez chipped in another single and the tying runs were aboard for … well, whatever soup of the day would stumble into home plate, starting with .217 career disappointment Omar Alfaro. Omar actually turned an 0-2 pitch into the third single of the inning, hit sharply to Larios' feet in rightfield, and the bases were loaded for … three batters with clips under .200 …! Matt Otis (.281, albeit a flimsy one!) hit for Tim Stalker at once, grounding into a force at home. Jurek hit a sac fly, 3-2, and Borg hit in Delgado's spot and walked, which automatically ended Wasserman's day of work, although it was slim pickings on the bench. Feared up and down the west coast, Justin Gerace (batting all of .173) batted for our starter, at which point you could make a legit case for the pitcher batting with three on, two outs, and the whole ****ing thing on the line. Gerace struck out, and the Coons were doomed once more, but before they could be silently buried in the dead of night Matt Nunley got hurt on a defensive play in the eighth inning, prompting replacement by Sam Armetta, last Critter on the bench. Armetta drew a walk against lefty Mike Peterson in the bottom 8th, and righty Lorenzo Romero lost Gonzalez on a single and Alfaro on another walk, bringing up Matt Otis with three on and two outs. Jaws dropped when Otis knocked a single into centerfield. Armetta scored, Gonzalez scored, and this score was flipped! The inning ended soon, and we sent Billy Brotman into the ninth inning, which had totally to do with the three left-handed batters he would potentially face and none at all with the fact that Jonathan Snyder had retreated to the hot tub in the seventh inning and was not wearing pants at this point. Three groundouts later, the Condors were not in first place anymore, and the Coons danced off with a win they had totally and completely stolen. 4-3 Blighters. Gonzalez 3-4, HR, RBI; Alfaro 1-2, 2 BB; Otis (PH) 1-2, 2 RBI; Wasserman 7.0 IP, 9 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K;

No good thing can come without three bad things attached, though, as the Raccoons had to place Matt Nunley on the DL on Sunday morning, owing to an intercostal strain. He might be able to come back by the middle of June, but the question is whether we will have scored a run at all until then…

And yes, this was a .276/.333/.331 hitter's demise that caused the ship to sink… He's one of our best …!! Mike Grigsby was called up, and he wasn't. He was batting next to nothing in AAA.

Game 3
TIJ: 2B B. Rojas – SS Sanks – RF O. Larios – 3B M. Matias – LF Bednarski – 1B McNeal – CF Hatley – C Zarate – P Weaver
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Otis – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – 3B Grigsby – C Mendez – P Chavez

Grigbsy made a Matt Nunley Memorial Error on his first major-league chance of the season, putting Bednarski on base in the second inning before Andy McNeal went yard and yonder, putting Chavez into a too-soon 2-0 hole. The Coons scratched out a return run in the bottom of the inning on the leadoff doubles by Gonzalez and Alfaro, with the tying run being donated to them by Zarate, who flubbed a fastball under his mitten and to the backstop with Alfaro on third, Chavez at the plate, and two outs. The bottom of the order grabbed the lead then in the fourth inning, with Grigsby landing a single to right for his first hit of the season, Mendez doubling to left for the first hit of his career, and Chavez dropping a ball between Nick Hatley and Omar Larios for an RBI single, 3-2, with Mendez then scoring on Cookie's groundout for a 4-2 tally after four, with Otis walking, but Mora popping out to end the inning and strand a pair.

Too bad that Chavez sucked bad enough to surrender a game-tying 2-out homer to BEDNARSKI in the sixth inning, something that left the park stunned and annoyed and me scrambling for more booze. I almost tripped over Slappy, who had passed out next to the liquor cabinet, but I got back just in time to see Grigsby reach on an infield single to begin the bottom 6th, knocking out Weaver in the process. Lorenzo Romero handled Chavez' bunt for a force at second base, after which Cookie singled and Otis walked, filling the bags with two down for Mora, our heroic RBI lead with all of 23 runs batted in. He could be moved, emotionally, to up his total to 27 on a 3-2 hanger in the sweet spot. GRAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!

Chavez came back out for the seventh in the 8-4 game, which saw Hatley hit a leadoff single under Otis' glove, then Hatley on third base after Mendez' grim throwing error on his steal attempt. A double switch removed two problems, with Hess entering the game on the mound, and Armetta at the keystone. Bob Rojas popped up to end the inning, moving us to the bottom 7th and the next bewildering spectacle. Tim Stalker doubled off Rafael Cuenca with one out, getting back to that vaunted .200 mark, which prompted the Condors to walk Grigsby intentionally! Are you all insane!? I mean, technically it worked, with Mendez hitting into an inning-ending double play, but what is it with this readiness to put additional runners on base? Cuenca managed to put enough Coons on base without intent in the eighth inning to produce another two Coons runs, driven in by Gonzalez and Alfaro, while the Condors had the final say with Robby Boggs' 2-out RBI double against Lee in the ninth, but the Coons still won handily and unexpectedly so. 10-5 Furballs! Mora 3-5, HR, 4 RBI; Gonzalez 3-5, 2B, RBI; Alfaro 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Grigsby 2-3, BB;

Winning week! Somehow! Winning week! Don't ask questions! Winning week is all that counts!

In other news

May 21 – The Thunder will be without SS Lorenzo Rivera (.349, 0 HR, 12 RBI) for a month after the 26-year-old has sprained his ankle.

Complaints and stuff

A series split with Boston is better than what I thought we'd get, but I can't help but feel like we wasted a chance in this Thursday game. Yup, the little team that should but couldn't, with the absolute worst, untouchably most rancid offense in the league entertains itself to dream up a scenario where they tackle the mighty Titans for the division. Maud! … Maud! – Where are… I can't find my pills, or did I already take all of them…?

Maud will look into this important matter, as well as my bloodshot eyes.

The Nunley injury sucks, just like the Tovias and Spencer and Kopp injuries before. Just look at those lineups. Completely toothless. And toothless Raccoons do indeed have a hard time …! Finding a replacement for Nunley on the roster was hard, not because I was afraid of bringing up another .166 batter, but because I was afraid I would bring up 19-year-old Alberto Ramos, who was moved to AAA two weeks ago and was batting .315 there. I think the time is drawing closer, though, especially considering what Tim Stalker is giving us, and the Coons could have a teen shortstop as early as June.

You know who else is batting .300+ in under 20 games in St. Pete? Juan Magallanes, the Colombian outfielder from the Jewish high school in Brooklyn. Does he… Maud? .. .Maud!! – Do you know whether Magallanes is actually Jewish? – Oh, hear, hear …! – So that is his father's side? – Yeah, they tend to heckle me less.

Regarding injuries, we will get a set of batters back in the next week or so. Terry Kopp might come back mid-week, and Tovias and Spencer early next week. Tovias' DL stint goes through Sunday anyway. Daniel Bullock is probably a mid-June candidate for a rehab assignment. And yes, the offense is picky enough that Daniel Bullock could be some actual help here. – What is it Cristiano? Why the glare?

Oh, what is it now? – Maud, I don't believe you that Mrs. Brotman is actually on line 2 because her bubbele had to get a save on the Sabbath, you're just toying with me!

Tim Stalker didn't get into the Wednesday game at all, meaning that no Raccoon was left standing with a perfect attendance record at the first quarter post. Then again, we should probably not brag about anyway how we were running out a .202 batting shortstop every ****ing day.

What else? Between half-innings on Saturday, with Wasserman just having been done in by shoddy fielding and Matias' booming homer, the Druid talked to him in the dugout and informed him that all the sufferings he incurred in this plane of existence would see him greatly enriched his soul in its next life, to which Wasserman quipped "**** my soul. I want a ring!"

Dang right you want, but then you should have signed with the Titans instead…

Fun Fact: The Boston Titans have hoisted the World Series trophy seven times since the Raccoons last got turns on the honor.

Yeah, well, I don't know. I'm still going with gypsy curse.