[Westheim]

With Dan Delgadillo ailing with whatever, the Raccoons added Josh Whitaker from AAA to take his next scheduled start on Thursday. Whitaker had gone 0-4 with a 4.24 ERA earlier in the season. The minor league season would be over by the weekend; we were the proud owners of three fifth-place teams.

Raccoons (71-71) @ Canadiens (64-78) – September 9-12, 2024

Nothing mattered anymore as the fourth-place Raccoons faced the fifth-place Elks in Vancouver. I barricaded up the house after getting enough booze to last four days without having to go outside and see people, because nothing good would come of this. Nothing good had come off facing the Elks all year long, as the Raccoons trailed 5-9 in the season series, heading for their first series loss since 2020. Vancouver ranked sixth in runs scored, but second from the bottom in runs allowed. Their run differential was -81 (Coons: +30).

Projected matchups:
Jesus Chavez (7-13, 4.17 ERA) vs. Greg Becker (12-13, 4.91 ERA)
Mark Roberts (10-8, 3.42 ERA) vs. Luis Vasquez (0-1, 5.05 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (14-6, 2.87 ERA) vs. Antonio Muniz (1-0, 1.27 ERA)
Josh Whitaker (0-4, 4.24 ERA) vs. Bryce Sudar (13-11, 5.05 ERA)

They would throw them up in alternating handedness, left then right, left then right. Muniz was a 21-year-old rookie that had made 15 relief appearances so far and was now penciled in for his first career start after the Elks lost their third official starting pitcher to injury in Andy Purdy. Muniz' nickname was "Furball", which in my book was not an eligible nickname for him, but supposedly stemmed from lively growing hair all over his body.

Game 1
POR: 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – C Delgado – SS Stalker – LF Gerace – P Chavez
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – C Vallejo – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – RF Day – 2B Crosby – P Becker

Through four innings, Chavez walked as many, somehow without getting obliterated or allowing any run at all, while the Raccoons amounted to two base runners (Spencer being nailed to start the game, and Nunley with a single in the fourth) and as many double plays hit into. The bottom 5th began with a leadoff walk to Norman Day, the fifth on Chavez' ledger. Day stole second, then was singled in by Greg Becker (…) for the first run in the game. It was also the only run on Chavez' ledger, as the Cuban got yanked in the sixth inning with a man on. David Kipple exited the sixth, entered the seventh, walked Becker (…!!), and that was also a deed that wouldn't go unpunished. Kevin Surginer came on, allowed a single to Dave O'Rourke, then threw a wild pitch to plate Kipple's run.

Then there was some rain, which became worse and worse, and the game went to delay in the top of the eighth with the Elks up 2-0, nobody on base, and one out. The delay took almost two hours – and then the game continued anyway. The Elks were mildly irate that Greg Becker was robbed of an abbreviated shutout, Justin Gerace hit an infield single, and somehow stumbled around to score in the inning with Spencer hitting a single in his support. That cut the gap in half, but didn't prevent three Raccoons relievers from allowing four base runners and somehow only one run in the bottom 8th. J.R. Hreha didn't mind one way or another, surrendering Mora, Gonzalez, and Graves in order to end the game. 3-1 Canadiens. Spencer 2-3, RBI; Nunley 2-4;

Abel Mora hasn't hit a single ball well since coming off the DL… maybe we will have more luck with the next returnee from the sickhouse, as Shane Walter came off the DL by Tuesday.

Meanwhile, the Elks moved Muniz up into the Tuesday game.

Game 2
POR: 2B Spencer – C Tovias – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – 3B Walter – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – LF Carmona – P Roberts
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – 1B Myles – CF Coca – SS Calfee – C Holliman – LF Chaplin – RF Luckett – 2B Ra. Mendez – P Muniz

Muniz issued three walks to Tovias, Mora, and Gonzalez in order in the first inning, but Shane Walter made sure nothing would come of that, smacking into a double play to Raul Mendez that ended the inning. This was not an aberration.for this game. Muniz was all over the place, and still the Coons couldn't touch him with a 30-foot pole. He walked them left and right, hit a pair, but no batted ball fell into a helpful spot. Mark Roberts, however, as soon as he drilled Tony Coca in the fourth inning, John Calfee was up to snuff and took him deep to left to give the Elks a 2-0 lead.

Top 5th, the bases were loaded on three straight singles by the 1-2-3 batters in the lineup, which was quite the big change. Spencer singled hard, Tovias singled softly, and Mora singled hard again, pulling up Jon Gonzalez, who was due one, took a very hittable strike three, and the Raccoons were held to Shane Walter's sac fly in the inning, because Omar Alfaro was Luke Newton reincarnated, just to get to me. Muniz retired from the contest after six innings with some sort of discomfort, but before Mark Roberts could get even that far, Calfee jumped him for another 2-piece in the bottom 6th, giving Calfee 19 on the season, five of those against the Critters, and three off Roberts.

Because things were wicked in general up here, Jarod Spencer hit a leadoff jack off Nick Van Fossen in the seventh, cutting the gap to 4-2, and his third dinger of the season. Probably like that one year that Cookie had in which he hit six and we thought he could be a power threat, too, and how sweet would that have been? By now, Cookie was batting .246 and everything about this team was tasting either bitter or stale. On to the eighth, where Shane Walter hit a leadoff single against Dan Moon, who was replaced with Fernando Ortega. Alfaro grounded to second, it looked like two, it smelled like two, but it was none at all since Raul Mendez threw the ball into Calfee's legs and it bounced away into centerfield. The tying runs were thus aboard for Tim Stalker, who had been ON FIRE in the first few months, and had hardly a pulse these days. He lined out softly to Jonathan Morales on third base. Cookie struck out. Nunley batted for Roberts and flew out to Mike Chaplin in left. Speaking of Calfee, he came up once again, facing Jimmy Lee with two outs and nobody on in the bottom 8th. I covered my face with a pillow that had much been screamed into already in these two games, but I had nothing to cover my ears to blend out the horrendous clanking sound bat and ball made when they met with force on a 1-2 slouch pitch over the middle of the plate. Calfee hit that one out of dead center to make it three in the game, and six on the season against Portland. Top 9th, Jasper Devitt retired Spencer and Tovias with a 5-2 lead to begin the inning, then allowed a single to Abel Mora. Terry Kopp batted for Jon Gonzalez and singled to center. Shane Walter hit an RBI single to center. Zach Graves batted for a clueless Alfaro and singled to center, and another run scored. And then Tim Stalker, the ass, poked at a 3-0 pitch and flew out to Elijah Luckett. 5-4 Canadiens. Spencer 2-5, HR, RBI; Mora 3-4, BB; Kopp (PH) 1-1; Walter 2-4, 2 RBI; Graves (PH) 1-1, RBI;

The boundless horrors...

Elias Tovias has a 12-game hitting streak going, though, so maybe he will lose an arm and an eye soon… not either/or – there's never either/or with this team. They embrace misery with open arms, fully and wholly.

Game 3
POR: 2B Spencer – C Tovias – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – 3B Nunley – LF Carmona – SS Stalker – P Roberts
VAN: 1B Myles – C Vallejo – LF A. Torres – RF O'Rourke – SS Calfee – 3B Rickard – CF Chaplin – 2B Crosby – P L. Vasquez

Calfee, fresh off a 3-homer day, hit a double his first time up in the Wednesday contest as he led off the second inning against Rico Gutierrez. Just hit him in the head, I say – keeps him to one run. In the actual event Calfee scored on Mike Chaplin's RBI double, the first run of the game. The second run followed the following innings, Marco Vallejo with a double off the wall in rightfield, then scoring on Dave O'Rourke's 2-out single, and another Elks pitcher got an RBI in the fourth, Luis Vasquez scoring the pinch-runner Raul Mendez with a groundout. In another game in which the Raccoons hurler was little more than a glorified launchpad with a funny brown cap with a propeller glued on top, Bobby Rickard had hit a hard double but had then hurt himself on the bases, requiring replacement by Mendez. That made for a 3-0 deficit through four innings, with the Raccoons obviously clueless as to how they would possibly be able to approach the Elks' ragdoll thrower of the day. Through six innings they had three base hits, no runs, and weren't worth being bothered about much. Gutierrez on the other paw professionally drank away his still-extant chances for the CL ERA crown in this game, surrendering a fourth run in the bottom 6th thanks to a leadoff triple by left-handed batter Mike Chaplin, who had no issues in coming home on Adrian Crosby's sac fly to Cookie Carmona. The Raccoons would get on the board eventually, but not against Vasquez. Brandon Smith allowed a run on a double by Abel Mora and Terry Kopp's 2-out single, which also gave Kopp his 100th RBI of the season, only a fraction of which had come with the Raccoons unfortunately. 4-1 Canadiens.

Elias Tovias' hitting streak found an end, too. The only things remaining were a 6-game losing streak, plenty of empty booze bottles strewn all over the floor, and a new barf stain on the wall beneath the window.

Game 4
POR: 2B Spencer – C Tovias – CF Mora – 1B Kopp – 3B Nunley – RF Graves – LF Gerace – SS Armetta – P Whitaker
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – C Vallejo – LF A. Torres – CF Coca – RF O'Rourke – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – 2B Crosby – P Sudar

The Raccoons got an Abel Mora double and three walks in the first inning and scored … not. Jarod Spencer had been caught stealing, and Zach Graves popped out to left to leave the bases loaded. Nothing came out of Justin Gerace's leadoff double in the second inning either, and so it was the Elks striking first for the fourth time in the series, Dave O'Rourke hitting a leadoff jack in the bottom 2nd, and it wasn't a close one, hitting the top of the batter's eye, and centerfield wasn't exactly shallow in the Elks' stinkin' park. While Whitaker was obviously winless in the majors, he had a paw in the draw for the best Coons' starting pitcher in the series, occasionally even fooling an Elk and striking out six in four innings, until Bryce Sudar (…) and Jonathan Morales hit back-to-back doubles to begin the fifth inning, with Morales being maneuvered around and scoring on Marco Vallejo's sac fly eventually to grow the score to 3-0. Both starting pitchers were done after six innings, with Whitaker not even finishing his part of the sixth, but it didn't matter for the Elks, either, who got flawless relief from their otherwise soggy bullpen to complete a 4-game dismantlement of the Raccoons. 3-0 Canadiens. Mora 2-3, BB, 2B; Nunley 1-2, BB; Surginer 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Raccoons (71-75) vs. Knights (87-59) – September 13-15, 2024

A year removed from winning only one game against the Knights, the Raccoons were one win removed from winning the season series, which stood 4-2 in their favor. They were however also on a 7-game losing streak, the Knights – with the most productive offense in the CL and average-enough pitching – weren't bloody quite, and my head was killing me.

Projected matchups:
Jack Sander (9-8, 4.05 ERA) vs. Leon Hernandez (13-7, 3.69 ERA)
Jesus Chavez (7-14, 4.09 ERA) vs. Antonio Quintana (10-4, 3.92 ERA)
Mark Roberts (10-9, 3.49 ERA) vs. Brian Cope (14-8, 3.39 ERA)

Right, left, right, and probably loss, loss, loss. The Raccoons will never win again.

With Tim Stalker completely funked out by now, the Raccoons also promoted Jon McGrew from AAA to begin the series. McGrew was a veteran of ten major-league games between 2022 and 2023, batting a grand total of 1-for-12. This year in St. Pete he had batted .205 in 109 games (101 starts). He was also 26. He is not the future. He is not much of anything.

Game 1
ATL: RF Stuckey – 3B Rolland – C Luna – SS Showalter – 1B Wright – 2B Hibbard – LF Cervantes – CF McDougall – P L. Hernandez
POR: 2B Spencer – 3B Nunley – C Tovias – 1B Gonzalez – CF Kopp – RF Alfaro – LF Carmona – SS McGrew – P Sander

The Raccoons could actually score first in a game, which we hadn't seen in a while, with Elias Tovias singling home Jarod Spencer – who doubled to lead off the bottom 1st – to make it Portland 1, Other Guys zip. Of course with this opponent as the other guys, one run was hardly going to cut it, and indeed it didn't. The Raccoons were lumbering inefficiently in the next few innings, and while the Knights didn't get to Jack Sander – himself having lumbered inefficiently for two months as a Raccoon – right away, they did get two doubles from right-handed batters Andrew Showalter and Devin Hibbard in the fourth to tie the game, and then a 2-out RBI single from Ruben Cervantes to zoom ahead, 2-1. That didn't last, either – Tovias jacked #13 to lead off the bottom of the fourth, getting the score even at two.

Meanwhile the right-handed batters continued to punt Sander like a puppy. This included their pitcher, Leon Hernandez, who hit a screaming leadoff double in the fifth inning. Johnny Stuckey hit a grounder to the right side that Jarod Spencer intercepted just ahead of the outfield grass but couldn't turn into an out, putting runners on the corners. Jaylen Rolland popped out foul to Tovias, Ruben Luna struck out, and then Andrew Showalter drove a ball to deep center, Kopp hustling after it, lunging, and he CAUGHT IT. And then he hit the ground, and the ball broke free from the glove, giving Showalter a 2-run double and the Knights as a whole a 4-2 lead. But, after Matt Wright flew out to center, the Raccoons also had runners on the corners and nobody out in their half of the fifth! Cookie led off with a double to left, and Devin Hibbard misfired on Jon McGrew's poor grounder, putting the fourth-string shortstop aboard with an error. The Coons turned the unearned opening into the tying runs on Abel Mora's sac fly (PH'ing for Sander) and a 2-out single by Matt Nunley before Hibbard was a little more sure-handed on Tovias' grounder that ended the inning, but the Critters did take their second lead of the day in the sixth on Cookie Carmona's second extra-base hit of the day, another double to left, this one with two outs and scoring Omar Alfaro from first after an accidental single that lifted Omar to six-for-his-last-39.

The seventh saw the Coons survive after Brett Lillis drilled Ruben Luna, then load the bases in unearned fashion in the bottom of the inning. With Nunley on, Tovias hit a 2-out fly to left that Cervantes dropped. Jon Gonzalez walked, but Terry Kopp grounded out. Brotman handled the eighth, handing it off to Jonathan Snyder, who had last been seen blowing a save to the Titans exactly seven days ago. He gave blowing this one an honest effort, drilling Alex Sauceda with one out and then allowing a deep fly to Stuckey that somehow ended up with Greg Borg in centerfield. Jaylen Rolland struck out in a full count to give the Coons their first W in over a week. 5-4 Blighters. Nunley 2-4, RBI; Tovias 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Carmona 2-4, 2 2B, RBI;

Game 2
ATL: RF Stuckey – 3B Rolland – C Luna – SS Showalter – 1B Wright – 2B Hibbard – LF A. Sauceda – CF Cobb – P A. Quintana
POR: 2B Spencer – C Delgado – 3B Walter – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – SS Stalker – LF Gerace – CF Borg – P Chavez

Chavez continued to make a case for repatriation to his native Cuba, where a 30-year sentence to hard labor in chains in a quarry were awaiting the defector, allowing a single to Rolland and a home run to Luna (#29!) in the first inning. In the second, it was Hibbard with the single and Sauceda – far less of a prestigious power hitter – with the home run, adding up to an early 4-0 hole. Surprisingly, the Raccoons were close to climbing out of it before the third inning was over; Greg Borg hit an RBI single to score Stalker in the second, and then in the third the Raccoons got a single from Delgado, who moved up on Walter's groundout, followed by Jon Gonzalez hitting a single to center to plate the catcher with two outs in the inning, 4-2. Omar Alfaro doubled to the fence, moving the tying runs to scoring position, and then Tim Stalker shyly grounded out to Rolland at third base to keep them on.

While Chavez continued to threaten his own team with accelerated unravelment, but was bailed out of the fourth when Jarod Spencer turned a double play, the Raccoons made up another run in unearned fashion in the bottom 4th, Andrew Showalter's throwing error scoring Greg Borg to get the Coons to 4-3. They didn't make the final step though, partly because Jesus Chavez allowed a run on straight singles by the 1-2-3 batters in the fifth inning, and partly because they were retired in order in the bottom 5th… but not in the bottom 6th. Mike Grigsby landed a pinch-hit 2-out double in the #9 hole, then scored on Spencer's single to left to again move the Coons to one run away from tying the game, but Delgado popped out to end the inning against reliever Mike Cockcroft. Speaking of relief, the Coons got scoreless such relief from their bullpen, mixing four relievers to great effect after Chavez' departure, but the offense still lamed and the Coons faced off against Jarrod Morrison in the bottom 9th still trailing 5-4 and sending up Grigsby, Mora, and Delgado after several double switches. The rookie Grigsby grounded out, but a single and a double put the tying and winning runs in scoring position for Shane Walter, since moved back to his natural position at the keystone. Walter unhelpfully grounded out to the right side, Jeff Christiansen playing the ball aggressively with the infield in and scaring Mora back to third base before getting the second out on Walter. Jon Gonzalez, who had been useless for about two months now and accordingly was not walked intentionally which other teams had done at the slightest provocation in the first half of the season, grounded out to short. 5-4 Knights. Mora 1-1; Delgado 2-5, 2B; Alfaro 2-3, 2B; Grigsby (PH) 1-2, 2B; Morales 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

(makes sounds of a dying wombat)

Game 3
ATL: RF Stuckey – 1B McIntyre – SS Showalter – C Luna – 3B Rolland – CF Cobb – 2B Greene – LF A. Sauceda – P Cope
POR: CF Mora – 2B Walter – C Tovias – 1B Gonzalez – RF Kopp – 3B Nunley – LF Carmona – SS McGrew – P Roberts

The Knights opened with two singles by Johnny Stuckey and Will McIntyre, then embarked on a double steal. Tovias threw away the ball to allow Stuckey to score and move McIntyre to third, and combined with a sac fly by Andrew Showalter the Knights got out to a quick and unearned 2-0 lead. Jon Gonzalez had runners in scoring position for the second time in two innings in the bottom 1st, and again grounded unhelpfully to short. While a run scored with Mora coming in after landing a hit to start the inning, boy had Gonzalez had a rotten second half…! It took two more singles by Kopp and Nunley to plate Shane Walter from second base, tying the game, after which Cookie grounded out to Drew Greene. Portland zoomed out front the following inning, landing straight 2-out singles with the 1-2-3 batters in the lineup, after which Jon Gonzalez flew out to center, once again not helping the cause.

While Roberts was holding his ground for the moment without further deflating, the Raccoons' top of the order really was not fooled by Brian Cope. When they came around again in the fourth inning, Cope had issued a leadoff walk to Jon McGrew, who was on second base after the obvious bunt call. Abel Mora walked, and Shane Walter singled to right-center, McGrew racing around to score, 4-2. Tovias grounded to the right side, but Greene got hold of the ball, retiring Walter on a fielder's choice, which brought up Gonzalez with runners on the corners and two outs. He popped out. Gonzalez didn't get a base hit until he came to the plate with nobody in scoring position, which was one of those weird things that robbed a GM's sleep at night, hitting a single to center in the seventh inning with nobody out and Tovias on first after a leadoff walk. This was still against Cope, who had by now tallied nine hits, four walks, and no strikeouts in a 5-3 game, the score having been extended with solo home runs by Terry Kopp, his 16th, and Ruben Luna, his 30th. The Raccoons failed to bury Cope, who stubbornly held on to his plot of land in the middle of the infield, and retired the three left-handers behind Gonzalez on three soft flies to strand both runners. Roberts hung in there, too, at least until he bumped against 100 pitches and the chewy right-handed part of the order that had given him the most problems, being relieved after seven and two thirds, with Ryan Corkum retiring the only batter he faced, McIntyre, and Synder retired Showalter and Luna in the ninth before it all fell apart once more. Jaylen Rolland singled to right. Ruben Cervantes walked. Phil Neubecker hit a pinch-hit RBI single, eliminating Snyder's cushion. Fortunately Snyder stood right in the way of Alex Sauceda's sorry bouncer to still snag victory from the gaping jaws of defeat with a play at first that left Sauceda out by 60 feet. 5-4 Coons. Mora 3-4, BB, 2B; Walter 2-4, BB, RBI; Kopp 2-4, HR, RBI; Roberts 7.2 IP, 4 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, W (11-9);

In other news

September 9 – Reconvalescant NYC SP Jonathan Toner (3-3, 2.97 ERA) spins a vintage 3-hit shutout over the Loggers, whiffing seven and walking three in a 6-0 Crusaders victory.
September 9 – A home run by NAS 1B Ruben Santiago (.254, 11 HR, 36 RBI) is the only tally in the Blue Sox' 1-0 win over the Miners.
September 10 – DEN SP Chris Sinkhorn (19-8, 3.54 ERA) 3-hits the Warriors in a 5-0 win.
September 11 – SAC SP Mario Alva (13-6, 3.49 ERA) whiffs ten and allows only two hits in a 7-0 shutout of the Wolves.
September 11 – DEN OF Cory Briscoe (.275, 2 HR, 41 RBI), who started the season with the Raccoons, has patched together a 20-game hitting streak with a single against the Warriors.
September 12 – The idle Scorpions clinch the FL West with the Pacifics' 3-1 loss to the Stars.
September 12 – NYC SP Mike Rutkowski (11-8, 3.15 ERA) is out for the season with a ruptured finger tendon.
September 12 – PIT C J.J. Henley (.267, 19 HR, 70 RBI) is done for this year after breaking a thumb.
September 13 – The Bayhawks walk off on the Crusaders, 8-4 in 11 innings, on a grand slam by INF/RF Pat Pick (.231, 7 HR, 51 RBI) off New York's Travis Giordano (4-5, 2.09 ERA, 29 SV).
September 14 – SFB SP Denzel Durr (6-12, 4.70 ERA) no-hits the Crusaders through seven, only for Blake Doering (.294, 6 HR, 36 RBI) to land a leadoff double for New York in the eighth inning. Doering comes around to score, but the bullpen holds on for Durr, who takes the 2-1 victory.
September 15 – Indy's SP Juan Ortega (1-4, 5.16 ERA), who is washed away by an hourlong rain delay in the fifth inning, and five relievers combine for a 1-hit shutout of the Falcons, 2-0, in which C Paul Mattaliano (.278, 3 HR, 34 RBI) lands the Falcons' only entry into the H column.
September 15 – The Capitals lose their Swiss Army knife type of player, Dave Menth (.294, 29 HR, 92 RBI), who can play most positions, to elbow inflammation for two weeks or basically the rest of the season.

Complaints and stuff

If there is one thing from this season that was not a horrendous disappointment or otherwise a promising beginning heading for wretched dismembering, it was probably Elias Tovias. Hitting for power (though not prodigiously), hitting almost .300, and throwing out base stealers now with something almost resembling regularity.

John Calfee was the Player of the Week, which gave me another nosebleed, because pretty much all his damage this week was in the midweek series. The one we will never talk about again.

Minor league seasons concluded; we will add a few more players on Monday, most notably a third catcher and another arm or two. There is plenty of room to give somebody a few starts, if only there was anybody on that wicked AAA team that would be worth giving a start to.

You may have noticed that Dan Delgadillo has quietly disappeared from the roster this week after being injured in his latest start last week. Well, to make things short… he had Tommy John surgery on Wednesday for a ruptured UCL and he's probably going to miss all of the 2025 season.

That will be $1.75M well spent for a so-so sophomore pitcher on the 60-day DL.

We ended this season a tense 5-13 against the ****ing Elks, our worst mark against them since 2015 (also 5-13), which was also the only season in the 2010s where the Raccoons ended up with a losing record. It also drops us back to .500 against them all-time, 432-432.

Fun Fact: The Canadiens' Alex Torres and John Calfee are the first team mates to both slug for a three home runs in a game, in the same season, against the same team.

YES OF COURSE AGAINST THE ****ING RACCOONS.