So an amusing epilogue..
I had to roll back the last day of the first season because I completely forgot that it was going to release every MiLB coach I had meticulously hunted down if their contracts expired. When I did, the goals changed.
One of them is now a team record goal, which is: "Don't suck completely." I actually laughed. That's what the goal should have been the first year. Maybe someone snuck in and lobotomized my owner when I wasn't looking.