[Westheim]

Raccoons (20-17) vs. Canadiens (18-18) – May 14-16, 2024

During these two teams' common off day on Monday the Crusaders lost, which moved the Coons into a tie for first place, sparking all the more worries in me that this was going to become a tremendously horrendous series. The hooved menaces from the North have never existed for anything else than to torture me, and how do that better than to sweep the Coons right now, right here? The Elks were tied for fifth in runs scored, better than the Raccoons, and tied for fourth in runs allowed, better than the Raccoons, and they also had the best bullpen in the Continental League. You wanted to hit them early, because you probably wouldn't get to hit them late. This was the first matchup between these two teams in 2024. The Raccoons had won the season series for three straight years, including an 11-7 performance last season.

Projected matchups:
Travis Garrett (3-0, 2.85 ERA) vs. Greg Becker (2-3, 4.43 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (3-1, 3.92 ERA) vs. Emmanuel Castaneda (2-3, 3.77 ERA)
Mark Roberts (2-3, 2.79 ERA) vs. Mo Robinson (4-4, 4.47 ERA)

Becker was a left-hander, and the only one they had. Also, we were guessing that they would use the day off to skip Mario Aragon (0-2, 7.77 ERA), because I sure knew I would. We would not get to see phenom Bryce Sudar (6-0, 2.53 ERA), who last pitched on Sunday.

As far as frequent pests were concerned, Tony Coca was on the DL with torn thumb ligaments, and John Calfee was nursing a sore elbow, which was always good news for a shortstop.

Game 1
VAN: 1B Jon. Morales – CF Gura – LF A. Torres – C Holliman – RF O'Rourke – SS Calfee – 3B Rickard – 2B Wise – P Becker
POR: SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Alfaro – LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – C Delgado – P Garrett

In the spirit of the occasion, Garrett had the Raccoons' only base hit the first time through the order, hitting a 1-out single in the bottom 3rd, by which time he had already been ravaged for six hits and three runs by an entirely right-handed lineup. The Elks had hit a pair of 2-out singles in the second, Ehren Wise stranded them, then got another pair of 2-out singles in the third inning before Ryan Holliman beat Abel Mora with a 2-run double to center, then came home himself on Dave O'Rourke's triple into the leftfield corner. Garrett's hit in the bottom 3rd at least woke up the rest of the crew, which loaded the bases on two more singles by Stalker and Nunley, then pulled the score even on Abel Mora's 2-run double to right (which looked like a slam off the bat, but we should be disappointed) and Jon Gonzalez' sac fly, also to the right side.

Top 4th, Garrett allowed a hard leadoff single to Bobby Rickard, then misfielded Wise's grounder for an error. The Elks, always cocky, had Greg Becker swing, smacking a bouncer to Nunley for a 5-4-3 double play, but ****ing Travis Garrett managed to **** up anyway, getting blasted in a full count by Jonathan Morales, setting the Elks ahead 5-3. The Raccoons left Garrett out there through six innings, because his flappy arm wasn't worth protecting at the bullpen's expense anyway, but the Elks failed to tack on. Neither did the Coons scramble back in immediately this time, but Becker walked Omar Alfaro with one out in the sixth and then Cookie managed to get a ball to drop for once (probably exhausting his hit allowance for the week in the process) and got a double past O'Rourke. Those were the tying runs in scoring position with one out, and Jarod Spencer got one run in with a sac fly to right. Cookie moved to third in the 5-4 contest, with Tony Delgado being walked intentionally, although even the Elks – dumber than bricks, sure – should have guessed a pinch-hitter was gonna come up. That pinch-hitter was former Elk Cory Briscoe, and he lashed a liner into the left-center gap for a double. Cookie scored anyway, and Delgado was chased all the way around by the coaches while Alex Torres and Ted Gura took their sweet time to find the ball in the overgrowth out there, allowing Delgado to score with the go-ahead run, 6-5. Stalker grounded out.

The eighth inning would see two casualties. First was the 6-5 lead that Vince Devereaux had administered to responsibly in the seventh, but O'Rourke, who had seen his share of Coons runs being scored with balls to his quarters in this game, cracked a homer off Kevin Surginer to tie the score at six. On the next play, Tim Stalker tweaked his back and had to be replaced by Daniel Bullock, beating a couple of teeth out of the lineup right there. The Coons reclaimed the lead in the bottom of the inning thanks to another sac fly, this time Spencer flying out to center to bring home Alfaro, who had hit a leadoff triple to leftfield. That was all the lead they could collect for Brett Lillis, who would face the 8-9-1 batters. And OF COURSE it all fell apart – which team are YOU following to ask so stupidly!? After PH Curtis Hargraves struck out, PH Elijah Luckett reached on an infield single, Morales reached on a proper single, and Ted Gura disemboweled the franchise with a raging homer to right center, shooting Lillis' ERA all the way over eight on his fifth blown save and fourth loss of the season. 9-7 Canadiens. Nunley 3-5; Mora 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Briscoe (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI;

Tim Stalker was listed as day-to-day with back pain, and the Druid ordered him to stand in a barrel of pickle brine overnight, for three straight nights. I guess it would be irresponsible to send him to the plate as pinch-hitter with that royal stench about him.

Worse than those Elks…!

But oh well… (puts down the silver pen, folds the paper and puts it in an envelope)

Maud, please mail this to my lawyer. No, bring it over to him personally. – Because I need you outta here when I want to get a chance to blow my brains out.

Wednesday brought rain, which also gave us a double-header for Thursday. The Coons moved Mark Roberts into the first game of the double-header, with Castaneda going for Stinktown.

Game 2
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – CF Gura – LF A. Torres – C Holliman – RF O'Rourke – SS Calfee – 2B Ra. Mendez – 1B Hargraves – P Castaneda
POR: LF Briscoe – 2B Walter – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – 3B Nunley – RF Alfaro – C Tovias – SS Bullock – P Delgadillo

The damn Elks scored first again, Gura singling, stealing, and scoring on Torres' single, who also stole second off Tovias, but was left aboard, with the Raccoons answering and matching immediately as in the opener. Shane Walter hit a solo home run in the bottom 1st to get the team even. Roberts held on to things for the moment, then found himself at the plate with three on and two outs in the bottom 4th. Jon Gonzalez had opened that inning with a double, Alfaro had walked, and with two outs Castaneda had balked the runners into scoring position. The Elks went on to intentionally walk the .200 scrum Bullock, and this pulled up the pitcher. Roberts snipped a soft line into no man's land for an RBI single, giving himself a 2-1 lead! Briscoe also found the outfield for an RBI single, 3-1, before Walter grounded out to Raul Mendez.

The Elks immediately got a run back off Roberts, who was suddenly **** in the fifth, ran three full counts and four 3-ball counts. Gura tripled, Torres doubled, getting a run home, 3-2, but that paled in comparison to Omar Alfaro's 2-out, 2-run homer in the bottom of the inning, wrapping around the right foul pole and collecting Matt Nunley, 5-2. With that lead, the Coons squeezed Roberts for 108 pitches, which unfortunately only amounted to 6 1/3 innings and Morales parking on first base with the single that knocked out the Coons' starter. Vince D replaced him and waved around the runner on a huge homer by Alex Torres, reducing the lead to 5-4.

Nunley and Alfaro were on base again in the seventh, this time hitting leadoff singles against reliever Brandon Smith, a right-hander, not that it mattered in the lineup part with all the switch-hitters. O'Rourke rushed in vain when Tovias hit a blooper to shallow right; that one fell in, too, loading the bases for … Bullock. Oh bugger. Truth be told, Bullock was unretired in the game, drawing three walks, two of them unintentional, but … no, the Druid says Stalker has to remain in the pickle brine. Oh well, flail away, Daniel …! Bullock poked the first pitch in play, right back to the pitcher, with Smith getting the out at home on Nunley. Cookie batted for Devereaux, flew to left for a sac fly, but that was all, with Torres also catching Briscoe's fly to left to end the inning. On to the eighth, where Jimmy Lee, the miserable ****, retired nobody, issuing a single to O'Rourke and two walks. Kipple replaced him, with ex-Coon Will Newman hitting into a run-scoring double play. A strikeout to Ehren Wise kept the tying run on third base. No further insurance came along, and in a motion of distrust, Kipple remained in the game for the ninth, facing the right-handed, death-bringing top of the order, because Lillis was gonna blow it anyway. In an outrageous move, Morales and Gura BOTH … BUNTED FOR HITS. Well, of course we were always gonna lose that one, too… Torres grounded out, advancing the runners, after which Ryan Holliman got ALL of Kipple's 0-1, sending it screaming in the general direction of Newfoundland for a 3-run homer. Hits by O'Rourke and Mike Chaplin plated an additional run for good measure. The Coons scored a run in the bottom 9th off J.R. Hreha. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. 9-7 Canadiens. Briscoe 2-6, RBI; Nunley 2-5; Alfaro 3-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Tovias 3-5; Bullock 0-1, 3 BB; Spencer (PH) 1-1, RBI; Roberts 6.1 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K;

I would shoot myself now if I had the time, but we're gonna play another one tonight, and … why the wait, really?

Game 3
VAN: 3B Jon. Morales – CF Gura – LF A. Torres – RF Chaplin – SS Calfee – 1B Hargraves – C Tanzillo – 2B Wise – P Aragon
POR: CF Briscoe – 2B Spencer – RF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – 3B Nunley – LF Carmona – C Delgado – SS Bullock – P Delgadillo

The regrettable Elks hit two doubles and drew a walk off Delgadillo in the second inning, but didn't score thanks to Mike Chaplin being caught stealing third base before Hargraves could find the corner. The Coons would score in the second, one run on two singles by Delgado and Bullock. And a passed ball. And a balk. The latter two occurred with two outs and the pitcher at the plate. It was a nice present, and I would be happy if I didn't know that the suckers would blow it at some point in the next two hours.

First though it started to rain in the third inning, with a very brief delay in the bottom half of the third. In a game starved for offense compared to the two predecessors, at least early on, Delgadillo shut out the Elks on five hits through five innings, with the biggest scare still having come in the second inning. The Coons also weren't exactly eating the clueless Aragon alive, being held to only four hits through five innings. We were just waiting for some mook to lift one outta here, but that didn't happen through six, nor through seven, an inning in which Delgadillo walked Chris Tanzillo and still managed to avoid being romped, even with Aragon batting with two outs. Dan K'ed him, keeping the 1-0 lead alive through the seventh. The eighth brought a K to Jonathan Morales, then two grounders by Gura and Torres. The pitcher's spot led off the bottom 8th for the Coons, and Delgadillo was sent to bat for himself. What were we gonna do? Send in Lillis to lose it? He was the first of three quick outs in the inning before resuming his day job on the mound. He entered the ninth on 93 pitches and 8 K in as many frames, and would face the 4-5-6 batters, which were mostly quite unknown to us. Chaplin ripped a single to right on the first pitch, but John Calfee went down on strikes after a 5-pitch battle. But of course it wasn't meant to be. Nothing was ever meant to be with this team. Hargraves walked in a full count, and Ryan Holliman pinch-hit for a single in a full count. The bases were loaded, Elijah Luckett came in to bat for Ehren Wise, and the Coons sent for Billy Brotman (!!) to face the left-handed piece of wood. Luckett grounded to short, throw to second, throw to first … late. The tying run scored, the rancid Raccoons had blown it AGAIN. Newman struck out to leave them on the corners. Also on the corners: the Coons in the bottom 9th, facing their former draft pick Dan Moon. Gonzalez and Nunley hit 1-out singles to bring up Cookie, who went on to walk off the team on the most terrible blooper this ballpark had ever seen, but it still fell in front of Alex Torres to end the game. 2-1 Blighters. Bullock 1-2, BB; Delgadillo 8.1 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 9 K;

Let's see, that makes two dastardly demonic pitching performances and one dastardly demonic hitting performance. Did I say 89 wins? I meant 98 losses.

And … Maud? – Where did you hide the gun from the top drawer. – The TOP drawer. – Maud, I know you replaced it with a photo book with kittens that look like former presidents, and I don't appreciate thi-

Although I must say, there are some funny kittens in here. Here, see the one that looks like Eisenhower.

Raccoons (21-19) vs. Falcons (15-25) – May 17-19, 2024

It was four teams under a blanket (1 1/2 games apart) in the North, and it was even five teams under a blanket (1 game apart!) in the South, but the Falcons were not part of that. They sat seven games out of the tied Knights, Aces, and Bayhawks, with the most runs allowed in the Continental League, and only seventh in runs scored. They were outright worst in most pitching categories, even beating the Coons in bullpen ERA (but it was sure close). The Coons had taken the season series last year, 5-4.

Projected matchups:
Jesus Chavez (1-5, 3.81 ERA) vs. Doug Moffatt (1-4, 7.23 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (4-3, 4.10 ERA) vs. Justin Fleming (2-1, 3.10 ERA)
Travis Garrett (3-0, 3.06 ERA) vs. Kyle Anderson (1-7, 6.40 ERA)

They only had right-handers in that rotation. They were also without one of their most productive bats, with 1B Pat Fowlkes on the DL.

Tim Stalker's back was still acting up and he was not in the lineup once more on Friday. He also had not appeared in the double-header at all.

Game 1
CHA: LF Bowman – SS Tanaka – 1B Good – 3B Czachor – RF Benson – CF McClenon – 2B Read – C Mattaliano – P Moffatt
POR: CF Mora – 2B Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – C Tovias – LF Carmona – RF Alfaro – SS Bullock – P Chavez

How about tearing up some scrub? That's what the Falcons thought when they saw Chavez, who walked Sean Bowman, whom the Falcons had picked up from the Dallas Stars earlier in the week in a trade for a prospect, to begin the game and unraveled from there, another walk and two extra-base hits plated three in the opening inning, and that was far from all that Chavez did to bury his team. In the fourth the Falcons wound up with runners in scoring position and one out. Paul Mattaliano popped out to Abel Mora in shallow center, keeping the runners pinned, after which Chavez only had to get rid of the opposing pitcher, who obviously cracked a liner to left for a 2-run single. That buried Chavez down three deep again, considering Matt Nunley's unearned 2-out, 2-run homer in the bottom of the third inning. A throwing error by Ryan Czachor had put the initial runner on base for Nunley, who then rushed one over the leftfield fence. Chavez, the detestable fool, would leave the game in the fifth inning with the bases loaded and nobody out, following singles by Ryozo Tanaka and Matt Good as well as a walk to Czachor. Brotman inherited the mess and yielded only one run on Travis Benson's sac fly before whiffing Joseph McClenon and getting Howard Read to ground out. The Coons were down by a slam in the middle of the fifth regardless, and they made no motion to recover from that, ever. They would only once place more than one runner aboard for the rest of the game, and that was with two outs in the ninth inning. Tony Delgado struck out in that spot, ending that sad game. 7-2 Falcons. Gonzalez 2-3, 2B;

Game 2
CHA: SS Bowman – CF Erskine – 3B Czachor – C T. Robinson – 1B Good – RF Benson – LF McClenon – 2B Tanaka – P Fleming
POR: CF Mora – 2B Walter – 3B Nunley – 1B Gonzalez – C Tovias – LF Carmona – RF Alfaro – SS Bullock – P Gutierrez

…and another game where the Raccoons were buried before they came to bat. Well, the Falcons scored two, and how were the Raccoons ever to make that up, against Rico Gutierrez in the first inning. Chris Erskine and Ryan Czachor hit singles, Tim Robinson walked, and the runs came in on Matt Good's run-scoring groundout and … a wild pitch. Robinson hit a sac fly in the third, getting the score to 3-0, while the Raccoons weren't hitting much at all until Jon Gonzalez hit a solo shot in the fourth inning, his first of the month, although that run would fly back onto the board rather quick. Justin Fleming, the opposing pitcher, hit a leadoff single in the fifth, Chris Erskine also singled, and Fleming scored on Czachor's sac fly.

Useless on the mound, Gutierrez hit an RBI double in the bottom 5th, plating Omar Alfaro from second base with one out. Walter singled, putting the tying runs aboard briefly for Nunley, who popped out to Tanaka on the first pitch he saw, keeping Portland behind 4-2. That became 4-3 the following inning on Gonzalez' leadoff jack, and the Coons had the leadoff man on base again in the bottom 7th, with Bullock singling to right center. He was the tying run thanks to Gutierrez stopping to bleed profusely in going six and a third, and Surginer holding the fort. Behind Bullock was Zach Graves, entering in a double switch with Surginer, but he grounded to short for a fielder's choice that killed off Bullock. Mora singled, and the Coons were really threatening when Fleming misfielded a Shane Walter grounder to load the bases for Nunley. Before things could get raucous, Fleming threw a wild pitch to tie the game, and then Nunley creamed a 2-1 pitch into right center for a 2-run double. He also rolled his ankle sliding into second base and had to come out of the game, which the Coons now led 6-4. Spencer replaced him, playing second, with Walter moving to third base.

Surginer and Kipple wiggled through the eighth inning without blowing the lead (although there were two aboard until Kipple whiffed PH Chris Almanza…), but sooner or later we had to arrive at the charred bones of Brett Lillis, who would face the 8-9-1 batters, which had gone wrong before. Ryozo Tanaka and Andy Walker struck out, Sean Bowman rolled out to short, and that was that. 6-4 Coons. Mora 2-4; Gonzalez 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI;

Matt Nunley's ankle was not good for walking by Sunday morning and he hoppled around on crutches, which was also bad news for who'd be on third. Indeed, the rubber game would be the first contest without Nunley since 2022, as he was placed on the 15-day DL in the morning. The Raccoons were lucky that the AAA Alley Cats were on the West Coast right now, because it allowed them to fly in Mike Grigsby to make his major league debut.

Grigsby had been our second-rounder in 2020, and was batting .250 with four homers in St. Petersburg. He was still only 22 years old and very raw. We weren't expecting much from this first look, and he would never have Matt Nunley's defense, not now and not later.

Game 3
CHA: LF Bowman – SS Tanaka – 1B Good – RF Benson – CF McClenon – 2B Read – 3B A. Walker – C Mattaliano – P K. Anderson
POR: SS Stalker – 2B Walter – CF Mora – 1B Gonzalez – RF Briscoe – LF Carmona – C Tovias – 3B Grigsby – P Garrett

"Tragic" Travis walked FOUR in the first inning, also allowed a hit, but the Falcons scored only one run. In between Matt Good hit into a double play, but Read walked with the bases loaded to push one across. Andy Walker flew out to center on a 3-1 pitch, which certainly earned him a talk with his manager. At least the Critters had Tim Stalker back in the lineup, and he came to bat with two outs and Cookie (walk), Grigsby (also walk), and Garrett (2-out single…!) on the bases. Stalker flicked a dying goose over Walker at third base, and it died a hero in shallow left, scoring two and flipping the score in Portland's favor. Walter grounded out to first base to end the inning.

What was any lead ever worth with Garrett around? "Tragic" Travis was on 53 pitches after two innings and had already walked five, and would face the left-handed middle of the order in the third inning. Benson would draw the sixth walk off Garrett, getting the free pass with one out. McClenon singled to center, but a fielder's choice and a foul pop got Garrett out of the inning. Charlotte stranded another pair on another walk and another single in the fourth, McClenon singled to center again in the fifth, but Howard Read hit into an inning-ending double play. Garrett sure deserved every bit of a beating, but he still wasn't getting it, but would at least tie an unenviable franchise record with eight walks in a start, putting Paul Mattaliano aboard with one out in the sixth. He faced Anderson, who struck out bunting foul, then was yanked in favor of the porous pen with a 2-1 lead. Barzaga got the third out from Bowman, and Brotman did the seventh, but allowed a single to McClenon to begin the eighth. The Falcons sent a right-handed bat, Tim Robinson, to hit in Read's place, prompting a move to Surginer with the tying run aboard. McClenon advanced on a grounder, then a 2-out infield single by Mattaliano, before PH Chris Almanza hacked himself out to strand them on the corners. Can we PLEASE get an insurance run!?

The Coons had Cookie board with a walk in the bottom 8th. One out, he swiped second base, which led the Falcons to walk Tovias intentionally for the second time in the game (the first came after a Cookie double the last time through) to get to the debutee in the #8 hole. We were facing right-hander Jim Bryant here, but I didn't want to hit for Grigsby with Graves here, since Surginer had to be hit for as well … unless someone hit into a double play. Grigsby didn't singling to right to load the bases, his first knock in the big leagues! Graves batted for Surginer, grounding to Chris Erskine at second base … and Erskine butchered the play completely, all hands being safe on the play! Cookie scored, 3-1, Stalker drew a bases-loaded walk to get his team-leading 30th RBI. Walter grounded to the mound, rendering Grigsby out at home, but Mora still came up with two down and got drilled with a 1-2 pitch (probably not intentional…) to push in another run. Jon Gonzalez struck out, bringing up Lillis with a 4-run lead. Two right-handers in Bowman and Tanaka struck out, left-hander Matt Good singled, but another left-hander, Benson, grounded out to end the game. 5-1 Raccoons. Walter 2-5, 2B; Carmona 1-2, 2 BB, 2B;

In other news

May 13 – The Miners walk off on the Blue Sox in 11 innings, 4-3, on NAS MR Ruben Ortega (1-1, 1.52 ERA) throwing a very wild pitch.
May 16 – MIL CF/RF Ian Coleman (.373, 1 HR, 16 RBI) will miss three to four weeks with an intercostal strain.
May 19 – The Scorpions' CF Justin McAllester (.310, 5 HR, 37 RBI) has forged a 20-game hitting streak with a fifth-inning single in the Scorpions' 4-3 win over the Miners.
May 19 – LVA SP Abramo Archibugi (2-2, 4.89 ERA, 1 SV) allows five runs in seven innings against the Indians, but ties for the team lead with 4 RBI in a strange game that sees the Aces drop the Indians by double digits, 17-6.

Complaints and stuff

Things are… very much mixed. That was a very depressing Elks series, even by Elks series standards. I still can't find my gun and the blunderbuss is too big to end my misery with it.

Please don't ask about replacements for Garrett or Chavez or anybody else from AAA. The only starter for the Alley Cats that does not walk more than he whiffs? Ryan Nielson. By the way, despite the truly horrendous starting pitching this week (although the pen was not much better), we still have the second-best rotation by ERA…? There's gotta be an error in that calculation. I will have Steve from Accounting look over it.

We have Monday off again, so the double header on Thursday does not scramble pitching assignments. We'll be in Atlanta and Oklahoma next week.

Adam Cowen was assigned to AAA on Monday, having gone unclaimed during his time on waivers.

Fun Fact: Travis Garrett became the sixth Raccoons starter to walk eight batters in a single start, but he became the first one to be rewarded with a W for his troubles.

The other offenders / Raccoons starters that walked eight in a game were Juan Berrios (1980), Roman Ocasio, Logan Evans (both in 1981), Nick Brown (2002), and Chris Brown (2015). All took the loss in the respective starts, with the exception of Nick Brown in his first April as a major leaguer, who was bailed out by the offense after his departure.

Of course that 1980 game is the truly dreadful Cyclones game where four Raccoons walked *19* batters in a nine-inning game that directly led to a 2-month hiatus for me.