[Westheim]

Raccoons (62-56) vs. Blue Sox (55-63) – August 16-18, 2021

Fifth in the FL East, the Blue Sox were in fact fewer games removed from their division leader than the Raccoons, even though the difference was only half a game. They ranked tenth in runs scored, but were in the top 3 in fewest runs allowed in the Federal League. Their rotation was ranked second overall even, but when a meager bottom-three on-base percentage is not lightened up by either speed or power in the lineup, you will often struggle to score more runs than you allow. The Blue Sox very much didn’t do that, with a -15 run differential. To make things even worse, more than a quarter of their home runs were on the DL with John Muller and Saverio Piepoli missing from the lineup. Both teams had played each other in 2019 and 2020, with the Blue Sox winning two of three in the former year, and the Raccoons taking two of three last year.

Projected matchups:
Dave Dyer (0-2, 6.33 ERA) vs. Diego Mendoza jr. (7-10, 3.10 ERA)
Ricky Martinez (2-1, 2.52 ERA) vs. Brian Leser (7-11, 3.98 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (13-6, 3.53 ERA) vs. Tadasu Abe (4-9, 4.86 ERA)

All their starters were right-handed; Tadasu Abe had not won a game since joining the Blue Sox, going 0-3 with a 5.29 ERA in five attempts. They were also not getting any value out of Danny Margolis, whom they played as backup to Armando Leal and his .646 OPS, and Danny had promptly returned to his pumpkin slash line as a backup, hitting only .211 without power.

Game 1
NAS: 2B R. Mendez – RF Cervantes – CF Schorsch – 1B A. Rodriguez – C Leal – 3B Fuentes – LF Beckwith – SS Zuhlke – P D. Mendoza jr.
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B H. Mendoza – 3B Nunley – RF Graves – C Olivares – SS Bullock – CF Stevenson – P Dyer

There was pitching, and there was whatever Dave Dyer indulged in while in the spotlight. To say that he fooled no one would have been an understatement akin to calling the either World War a quabble during which someone was smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. The Blue Sox ripped four singles in the first inning, with Tom Schorsch driving in the first run early, but with the bases loaded and one out a foul pop by Tony Fuentes was secured by Hugo Mendoza, and Nunley made a fancy play on Myles Beckwith’s grounder. After an oddly clean second inning, the third brought three more singles for Nashville, although they ran themselves out of the inning this time. Ruben Cervantes made an attempt to go from first to third base on Schorsch’s single to right, but was thrown out at third by Zach Graves, and the Blue Sox somehow stranded a pair. The Blue Sox scored one run from their seven singles, but at least Diego Mendoza jr. struck out six in the first three innings, making the Raccoons look like absolute beginners. Jarod Spencer found a hole in the fourth inning though for a leadoff triple, and while Dumbo Mendoza futilely grounded out to Alberto Rodriguez, Matt Nunley at least placed his groundout somewhere more useful to get the ****ing run in to tie the game.

Cervantes’ homer in the fifth inning untied the game real quick, putting the Blue Sox back on top at 2-1, and they added a run in the sixth inning against Seung-mo Chun. Beckwith and Adam Zuhlke hit 2-out singles, and a wild pitch in between those two singles allowed the former Raccoon Zuhlke to land his 26th RBI of the season, scoring Beckwith from second base. The bases would be loaded in the bottom 6th against Mendoza. First, the Coons’ Mendoza had singled, but had been forced by a Nunley grounder. After Zach Graves singled, Ezequiel Olivares walked, moving up the struggling Daniel Bullock. Do I still have faith, or hope, or anything? Nah, it would be misplaced. Bullock grounded to second base, and Rich Mendez started the double play to get Nashville out of the inning. The Sox failed to score against the Critters’ bullpen in the last three innings, but the Raccoons were not any more productive as they face the Blue Sox’ relievers, either. Mendoza was on base to start the bottom 8th, but Nunley found a way to hit into a double play. Olivares’ leadoff single to rightfield off closer Jeff Mudge (1.92 ERA) brought up the tying run once more, albeit in Bullock, who struck out, then Stevenson, who popped out to short. Eddie Jackson batted for Jason Kaiser and finally restarted the engine, singling to left center to flip the lineup over once more to Cookie. This would be an awesome spot for his annual home run! But for now, we’d have to do with another pop to Zuhlke… 3-1 Blue Sox. Mendoza 3-4; Olivares 2-3; Jackson (PH) 1-1;

Who could replace Dave Dyer? Hmm… maybe Damani Knight can fit it into his schedule…

Game 2
NAS: 2B R. Mendez – SS Zuhlke – 1B A. Rodriguez – CF Schorsch – LF Cervantes – RF Munn – C Margolis – 3B Fuentes – P Leser
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Spencer – 1B H. Mendoza – 3B Nunley – RF Graves – C Olivares – SS Bullock – CF Stevenson – P Martinez

Martinez faced the minimum despite striking out nobody the first time through the Blue Sox’ order. Tom Schorsch drew a walk to start the second inning, but got entangled in Danny Munn’s inning-ending double play anyway. Martinez also lost Zuhlke to a walk in the fourth inning, then got help from Cookie Carmona making a headlong dive in left center for Rodriguez’ drive. Schorsch struck out to end the inning. There wasn’t much offense to marvel at early in this game; in fact, teams combined for a total of one base hit in the first five innings, and that one had been a second-inning single by Ezequiel Olivares…

There would not be a rookie no-hitter however, because Tony Fuentes turned on an 0-2 pitch and hit the poor ball into the left-center gap for a leadoff double in the sixth inning. Leser popped up his bunt, preventing the runner from advancing, and even then it wouldn’t have helped the Blue Sox, with Rich Mendez striking out and Spencer not being challenged by Zuhlke’s soft line right at him. The Raccoons would also start the sixth inning with a runner on second base, albeit this was Josh Stevenson reaching second base on a bad throwing error by Danny Margolis. After Martinez flew out to right, the Sox interestingly chose to walk Cookie voluntarily onto first base, pulling up Spencer – who had an 11-game hitting streak going – and Mendoza, who was paid by the amount of pain he inflicted on opposing teams and lived rather luxuriously. But first, Spencer, and remember that this is Coon City, and things always – ALWAYS – go as badly as possible. Spencer chipped the first pitch back to the mound, Leser pounced on it and fired to second base, but high. Zuhlke leapt, caught the errant throw, came down on the bag to force Cookie, but also fell forward and into the sliding Cookie, who jammed his ankle and remained on the ground, weeping, waiting for removal by professionals. While ‘Cookie hurt’ along with ‘Pitchers suck’, ‘Nobody likes me’, and a free square put me a ‘Traded Toner’ shy of a full line in Depression Bingo, the Raccoons technically still had a chance to score and win here, with Petracek replacing Cookie in left as the fallen comrade’s carcass was carried off. Alas, you were counting on Mendoza now. Well, ****ed you shall be then, because Dumbo surely had no intentions to put the Raccoons ahead, grounding out feebly to Mendez to end the inning from hell.

Martinez was soon discarded as well, conceding singles to Rodriguez, Schorsch, and PH Manny Ramirez with nobody out in the seventh inning. Bags full, pain great, Noah Bricker came into the game against the next right-handed pinch-hitter, former Condors backup Roland Lafon, who lined into Spencer’s glove (that kept happening!) before Margolis hit another one to Spencer, this one for a double play. Still no score. Bottom 7th, singles by Nunley, Graves, and Bullock filled the bases and brought up Stevenson with one out. No, desperation was rampant – bring Aponte. He can at least bat left-handed! However, he also had a .375 batting average to correct, and ended the inning on one pitch, grounding sufficiently sharp right at Rich Mendez, who turned two. Neither team scored in regulation, and the Raccoons’ futility was visible in the fact that Brian Leser continued to pitch in the TENTH inning, entering that on merely 91 pitches. The Raccoons also failed to dent him in that 10th inning, despite a 1-out walk to Bullock. Starting with the 11th, Evan Carrell and Jeff Mudge started to exchange blows, with the Raccoons getting Graves on base leading off the bottom 12th with a leadoff walk. Olivares was told to bunt, bunted terribly and got Graves forced out at second base. Following Bullock’s infield single, the pitcher’s spot drew up in the #8 hole. Only Edwin Prieto was left on the bench and Duarte was batting ninth by now with all might of his .215 average. There was probably no hope here. The Critters had the pitcher bunt, because maybe they could force a walkoff-error on Margolis. WE HAD THIS LITTLE HOPE!! The bunt worked this damn time, but Duarte struck out. The scoring drought ended in the 13th inning thanks to singles by Beckwith on the first pitch of the inning and after Margolis’ bunt another single by Tony Fuentes to score Beckwith from second base. Saving the best for last, Jarod Spencer would extend his hitting streak to 12 games in the goddamn 13th inning with a 1-out single to left against right-hander Jimmy Lee. Mendoza drew up and I toyed with the thought of hitting Prieto for him. That didn’t happen, and the game ended right then and there, of course … with Mendoza belching a 430-footer to dead center that rang off the batter’s eye for a ya-gotta-be-kiddin’ me walkoff dinger. 2-1 Blighters. Mendoza 2-6, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Bullock 2-4, BB; Martinez 6.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K; Lillis 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K; Carrell 3.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 1 K, W (4-2);

Cookie Carmona was placed on the DL the same night with an oddly misshapen ankle. The Druid was not yet positive on whether he would try to hone his amputation skills or whether he would try his newest import toy from Transylvania called an ankle mangle.

I am told that in the very best scenario Cookie may return in the penultimate week of the season, but maybe he will not return at all – thanks to bleeding to death during whatever procedure the Druid will subject him to.

I am heartbroken.

Despite the gravity of the situation I still managed to arrange for a replacement to be sent from St. Petersburg before drinking myself into a alcoholically-induced coma. The replacement turned out to be very much a non-prospect: 32-year old Danny Ochoa, who hadn’t played in the majors in three years, but could hardly return to Cuba now after posting some very misguided things about the establishment on Instadumb. Ochoa (.262, 6 HR, 51 RBI in 355 major league at-bats, all before turning 30) was batting .275 with 13 homers in St. Pete, so – no, there is no replacement for Cookie in any which way, ever.

EVER!!

Game 3
NAS: 2B R. Mendez – RF Cervantes – CF Schorsch – LF Munn – C Leal – 3B Fuentes – 1B C. Ayala – SS Zuhlke – P Abe
POR: 2B Spencer – SS Aponte – 1B H. Mendoza – 3B Nunley – RF Graves – LF Jackson – C Olivares – CF Stevenson – P Toner

Toner had three hits against him and three strikeouts in the first inning, but unfortunately one of the hits was a 2-run homer by Tom Schorsch, his 17th of the season, far and away the Blue Sox’ team lead. By the third inning there would be six hits and six strikeouts on his ledger, but unfortunately that was not a game-winning ratio, as Armando Leal’s 2-run double in the third inning proved. That ran the score to 4-1 for Nashville, with the Coons’ lonely run driven in by – yes, actually – Jonny Toner with a 2-out single in the bottom 2nd. Turned out, without Cookie the Raccoons’ lineup was even less crisp.

But hey, it was Abe pitching – surely there would be chances for a thousand more runs. Graves indeed drove home Mendoza with a 2-out single in the bottom 3rd, getting the Critters back to 4-2, while a strikeout to start the top 4th on Abe got Toner to 200 whiffs for the season. Bottom 4th, Cesar Ayala dropped a foul pop by Olivares for an error. Leading off, Olivares ended up singling to center in a full count after Ayala failed to extinguish him, and Stevenson doubled to left, putting the tying runs in scoring position with no outs for Toner and the random misfits at the top of the order. As our minds continued to boggle, Toner singled to center, indeed driving home one run, 4-3, then stole second base, allowing Spencer to flip the score with a 2-run single to left, hit on an 0-2 pitch. Spencer stole second, then scored on Nunley’s single, which was the end for Abe, with the Blue Sox wisely deciding that six in 3.2 innings were enough. Matt Gossen, a right-hander, got Graves to ground out to Zuhlke at short. Toner was now up 6-4, yet on 67 pitches through four, and the pen had already lost a few feathers in the 13-inning drudge on Tuesday. We could really use a few quick innings, low on panic. Quick was one thing, low on panic was entirely another. While the Sox went down 1-2-3 in the fifth inning, the sixth saw a leadoff double by Fuentes. Toner struck out Ayala, somehow his 10th K in the game, before Zuhlke knocked a pitch hard to third, where Nunley showed off his shiny glove again and made a perfect play to retire the batter at first base. Fuentes was still at second, but made for home when PH Alberto Rodriguez turned on an 0-2 pitch and hit it to center. Stevenson picked up the single, fired home, right at Olivares, who blindly swiped for the ball and hit Rodriguez, sliding head-first, into the face with his glove. The runner was out, also humiliated, and no less because Olivares had added to the Coons lead in the bottom 5th with a solo shot, 7-4. Toner gutted out seven innings on 107 pitches after the horrendous start, but mind that the Coons’ pen would end at Bricker in this game after Lillis tossed two innings the previous night, and he also had to enter the game in the eighth when Manobu Sugano couldn’t retire the Blue Sox before encountering the right-handed Zuhlke. Runners were on the corners for this 2-out matchup, and Zuhlke plated one with a single to center before Bricker and Myles Beckwith went at another for a full count, with Beckwith being called out on a high, but not too high, fastball to end the inning, leaving the tying runs aboard. The tying runs went right back to the corners in the ninth with a leadoff walk drawn by Mendez and Cervantes singling. Now Bricker was into the left-handers, and Kaiser was unavailable as well. This ship was going down. Schorsch struck out. Munn flew out to center, runners holding. Armando Leal … single to center, 7-6, OH GOD WE’RE DOOMED!! And then Fuentes struck out. 7-6 Raccoons. Spencer 2-5, 2 RBI; Mendoza 2-4; Olivares 3-3, HR, RBI; Toner 7.0 IP, 8 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 12 K, W (14-6) and 2-3, 2 RBI;

Yes, there is more composure in a burning chicken coop.

And I normally will not commend pitchers on surrendering four runs, but whiffing a dozen and driving in two (while keeping the rally going in the fourth inning) got Toner some bonus points here.

The Raccoons made two roster changes before travelling to New York after the off day, activating Yoshi Nomura and Jalen Parks from the DL while sending Guillermo Aponte (.333 after an 0-for-5 on Wednesday) and Edwin Prieto (.176 with a slam) back to St. Petersburg, although Prieto would only arrive there after clearing waivers, possibly.

Now, where to stash Jarod Spencer with Yoshi Nomura back and receiving pay demanding he play every day? You might remember that Spencer also plays some leftfield… well, and the Raccoons have a vacancy there. (shakingly reaches for a bottle)

Raccoons (64-57) @ Crusaders (58-62) – August 20-22, 2021

Both teams had hoped for more, but by now they knew that the rest of the season would quite definitely consist of licking out ashtrays until it was finally over. New York ranked third from the bottom in runs scored, and seventh overall in runs allowed, a -45 run differential quite definitely stating that their package was not a winning one. Interestingly, the Coons’ +86 run differential said exactly the same about them. At 6-5, we were slightly ahead in the season series, and this was the first stage on a 4-city road trip stretching into September.

Projected matchups:
Travis Garrett (6-5, 4.50 ERA) vs. Cody Zimmerman (9-10, 3.74 ERA)
Hector Santos (10-5, 4.21 ERA) vs. Adonis Foster (4-4, 3.38 ERA)
Dave Dyer (0-3, 5.67 ERA) vs. Alejandro Mendez (12-4, 2.93 ERA)

The Crusaders had placed Tim Dunn (13-8, 2.72 ERA) on the DL with a rotator cuff strain, opening a hole in the rotation for Hwa-pyung Choe (4-6, 4.01 ERA) as well if they so desired. However, Zimmerman should be the only left-hander we face in the series, with Dave Butler having pitched on Wednesday, throwing a complete-game shutout. Meanwhile, the Raccoons’ Hector Santos was declared just fine by the Druid. Wait – has anyone seen Cookie the last two days?

MENA!!

For completeness’ sake, the Crusaders made a minor deal with the Stars just as we came in, acquiring LF/RF Chris Peters (.253, 1 HR, 4 RBI in 83 AB), a 27-year old no-good, for interesting prospect OF/1B Aarnoud Klarenbeek.

Game 1
POR: LF Spencer – 2B Nomura – RF Jackson – 1B Mendoza – C Parks – SS Bullock – CF Stevenson – 3B Petracek – P Garrett
NYC: CF R. Miranda – 3B D. Stephenson – 2B S. Valdez – 1B A. Young – C J. Vargas – RF Erickson – LF Skinner – SS McKnight – P Zimmerman

Jalen Parks almost caused a mess in the bottom of the first, misplacing strike three to Adam Young somewhere beneath his furry tush, allowing Young to reach first base, and Sergio Valdez, who had walked, to reach second. Jose Vargas followed the mishap with a drive to right, but Eddie Jackson moved his old body back to the track to make a running catch over his shoulder. Parks soon made up for the mishap, though, hitting singles in his first two at-bats, and both led to runs. His first single was one to start the second inning and he later scored on a Petracek double past Brian Skinner in left. In the third inning, he found the Coons up 2-0 after Mendoza had chased home Yoshi with a grounder to short, two outs, and Jackson at second base, hit another single, and this one scored Eddie, 3-0. The Critters scored another pair in the fourth inning, which Stevenson started with a triple. Petracek singled him in, was moved over to second base on Garrett’s bunt, and scored on Yoshi Nomura’s 2-out single, 5-0, and Josh Stevenson’s 2-out, 2-run homer in the fifth collected Bullock to make it 7-0 Critters.

At that point, the Crusaders had no hits against Garrett, although they had reached in each of the first three innings, drawing a walk in each of those, although they had sometimes cost themselves any chance, like Valdez getting caught stealing by Parks in the third inning. Garrett had also struck out six in the first four innings, but got no strikeouts in the fifth, instead retiring the bottom of the order, including reliever Tom Nelson in place of the dismissed Zimmerman, on three pitches. Whatever budding no-hit bid there was, however, went out of the window on Devon Stephenson’s 1-out single to left in the sixth inning. Stephenson stole a base, was at third with two outs, but Adam Young batting, when Garrett made the cardinal mistake of NOT throwing right down broadway against Mr. Unclutch. Instead he whacked Young with a 1-2 pitch (…!!!!) then had to thank Spencer for spoiling a liner to left off Vargas’ bat. Garrett put the Crusaders on the board when Max Erickson hit his 14th home run of the year on a lazy fastball in the middle of the plate to lead off the bottom of the seventh. Garrett couldn’t extricate himself from the inning, allowing a single to Brent Woods and walking Rico Miranda while simultaneously blasting through 100 pitches. Cory Dew replaced him and struck out Stephenson to end the inning. The bullpen continued to crumble however, with Kaiser conceding a run in the eighth inning, and Carrell conceding two in the ninth on a pinch-hit home run hit by Josh Perkins. Panic didn’t break out – barely – despite the Raccoons having wasted chances in the eighth and ninth innings when they hit into double plays to Ronnie McKnight, who was batting a wee bit over .300 in the ugly purple hat. Mendoza had gone deep for a solo shot in the ninth inning, however, providing a margin of victory of four runs. 8-4 Raccoons. Nomura 3-5, RBI; Parks 2-5, RBI; Stevenson 3-4, HR, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; Petracek 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Garrett 6.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 6 K, W (7-5);

Yes, Josh Stevenson missed the cycle by the SINGLE.

Also, an 0-for-5 ended the 14-game hitting streak of Jarod Spencer. Mendoza’s is up to 12 games thanks only to the ninth-inning home run.

Game 2
POR: LF Spencer – 2B Nomura – 1B Mendoza – 3B Nunley – RF Graves – C Parks – SS Bullock – CF Stevenson – P Santos
NYC: 3B P. Cruz – SS D. Stephenson – 2B S. Valdez – C J. Vargas – RF Erickson – CF Witt – 1B Perkins – LF Peters – P Foster

There was Matt Nunley again, claiming another second-inning lead with a solo home run! Someone else needing to be stopped was Josh Stevenson, who hit a leadoff double in the third, then was bought in to score by Santos’ single up the middle that narrowly eluded Devon Stephenson. Santos retired the Crusaders in order the first time through the order, and remained perfect through four, although a headlong diving play by Zach Graves in the right-center gap during which he caught Stephenson’s fly in no man in particular’s land held whatever bid this was intact.

The fifth inning saw Stevenson hit a leadoff triple, but getting stranded; Santos struck out and Spencer popped up, after which Adonis Foster was removed with an apparent injury. Tom Nelson reappeared and struck out Yoshi to end the inning and keep the score at 2-0. Steve Witt would test Stevenson’s range in center in the following inning, but it was in fact 18 up and 18 down for Santos in the first six innings, and that with only two strikeouts to his credit. Tom Nelson struck out five in 2.1 innings, keeping the Raccoons in range for the Crusaders’ lineup as they got to see Santos a third time. Pedro Cruz struck out. Devon Stephenson hit a ball to center, but couldn’t challenge Josh Stevenson with that. Sergio Valdez got ahead 2-0 in the count, then hit a drive to right – and that one went out. Gone the perfecto, gone the no-hitter, gone the shutout, and if Santos wasn’t careful immediately, also gone Santos. The Coons’ quest for an insurance run was a sad one. Jarod Spencer hit a leadoff single in the eighth and stole second base, but was stranded by the supposed middle of the order. Santos disappeared in a puff of smoke after a 4-pitch walk to Erickson to start the bottom 8th. Adam Young was announced as pinch-hitter for Witt – so they were batting left-for-left! – even before we could throw Sugano in there. Young’s sorry 0-2 grounder inexplicably eluded Mendoza for a single that sent Erickson to third base from whence he scored on Perkins’ fly out to Stevenson in center – tied ballgame.

Petracek ran for Parks after the latter drew a walk with nobody out off Steve Casey in the ninth inning. Petracek took off on a hit-and-run with Bullock, who missed grossly, but Vargas’ throw was to centerfield and sent Petracek to third base, still with nobody out. Bullock turned the count to 3-1 in his favor before grounding out unhelpfully, but Stevenson-on-fire hit a single to left, breaking the tie again. Danny Ochoa worked a walk in place of Sugano, but neither Spencer nor Nomura could get wood to leather, and the Coons stranded two, which soon became magnified in the bottom 9th, in which Lillis with one out allowed a single to Stephenson, a double to Valdez, and then lost Vargas to walk. Bases loaded, one out for Erickson, who nursed a 2-2 count before popping it up to Yoshi. Rico Miranda was hitting sixth and .182 in general and hit another pop to Bullock, and that one ended the game. 3-2 Blighters. Nunley 2-4, HR, RBI; Stevenson 3-4, 3B, 2B, RBI; Santos 7.0 IP, 1 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K and 1-3, RBI;

For the second day in a row, Josh Stevenson hit for three legs of the cycle, this time missing the homer. Now watch him miss the bus to the ballpark tomorrow…

Game 3
POR: CF Stevenson – 2B Nomura – 1B Mendoza – 3B Nunley – RF Jackson – C Parks – LF Ochoa – SS Bullock – P Dyer
NYC: CF R. Miranda – SS D. Stephenson – 2B S. Valdez – 1B A. Young – RF Erickson – 3B P. Cruz – C Travis – CF Peters – P A. Mendez

An 0-2 single by Miranda and drilling Stephenson outright put Dave “Dire” Dyer in dire straits right away. The Crusaders contained themselves with scoring one run on successive groundouts to the right side, giving even Adam Young an elusive RBI – he had 30 for the season in over 250 at-bats. Peters tripled in the bottom 2nd, yet with two outs, and “Ant” Mendez couldn’t get him in. Top 3rd, Ochoa drew a leadoff walk, after which Bullock hit a perfect double play ball at Valdez, who sidearmed a poor throw to Stephenson, and the shortstop couldn’t come up with it. The error put two on, and after Dyer’s bunt those two were in scoring position with one out. Stevenson had not yet tripled in the game, grounded poorly to the mound, but raced up the line to beat Mendez’ throw. Ochoa, however, had not moved – the bases were now loaded and the Coons still trailed 1-0. Both changed when Yoshi flew out to left, with Ochoa scampering home on the sacrifice, but that was it. Mendoza walked like a coward and Nunley grounded out to Valdez, leaving three on.

Top 5th, still a 1-1 game, although Dyer did his all to get swamped in runs. Only a double play bailed him out of trouble in the third, and in this top 5th he was at the plate with Bullock on first and nobody out. Then he failed to bunt long enough for a resigned manager to order him to swing away, for crying out loud. He promptly singled. Stevenson’s single past Stephenson loaded the bases, still no outs, for Yoshi. He struck out. Mendoza struck out OF COURSE. Nunley bounced a ball up the first base line, THROUGH YOUNG, UP THE LINE – NUNLEY THE MAN!! Two runs scored on a double, and Eddie Jackson singled determinedly to left to plate another two and put the Raccoons 5-1 ahead. Dyer allowed a single to “Ant” Mendez in the bottom of the inning, then was bailed out when Yoshi turned Miranda’s sharp grounder for two…

By the sixth, every ball hit off Dyer was a hard liner that was sure to break any window it encountered. Stephenson led off with a double, Valdez singled, one run was in. Young flew out easily, which was so surprising, but the tying run was up after Erickson’s RBI double. Cruz’s sac fly was also hard to left, and that was it for Dyer, removed after five and two thirds of general unwatchable botchery. Kaiser got out of the inning and through the seventh despite an infield single by Miranda, and he even remained in the game for the eighth against a mostly left-handed lineup. Valdez and Erickson went down, but Young walked. Noah Bricker replaced him, and got a bloody grounder to short to get out of the inning against Pedro Cruz, a right-hander, one of two in the lineup. The Critters were denied an insurance run in the ninth inning despite Spencer – having come on with Bricker in a double switch – hitting a single and stealing second base. The bottom 9th and the 5-3 lead were Lillis’ against the bottom of the order. Peters would hit a 1-out single to right, and Lillis threw a horrendous wild pitch *behind* Brent Woods, the pinch-hitter for Miranda with two outs. It was the penultimate pitch of the game, as Woods flew out to Danny Ochoa on the very next offering. 5-3 Raccoons. Stevenson 2-4, BB; Spencer (PH) 1-1; Kaiser 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

On a scale between one and ten bottles of booze, how much do I regret selling?

In other news

August 18 – One run is all that NYC SP Dave Butler (10-12, 3.84 ERA) gets in his start against the Rebels, and it is all that he needs. Two hits for Richmond are not enough to beat Butler, who strikes out eight in this 1-0 shutout, and the Rebels are held to two hits for the second consecutive day, also being held to that much by Alejandro Mendez (12-4, 2.93 ERA) and Sean Casey the day before in a 4-0 shutout.
August 18 – Another 2-hit shutout is delivered by SFW SP Fernando Cruz (12-7, 3.18 ERA) in a 5-0 win over the Bayhawks. He also delivers eight strikeouts.
August 18 – VAN LF/RF Alex Torres (.226, 7 HR, 39 RBI) might miss a month with chronic back soreness, which is not good news in a 23-year old player.
August 20 – Between many good offensive performances in the Aces’ 13-9 win over the Knights, LVA 1B Steve Butler (.274, 15 HR, 62 RBI) shines in particular. In a first in ABL history, Butler’s 3-for-5 day with a home run and 4 RBI sees him enter both the 300 HR club *and* the 2,500 hits club. The 36-year old Butler takes care of the first milestone with a 2-run home run off Jonathan Ryan, of the latter with an RBI double off Chris Mathis. A four-time All Star and 3-time Platinum Stick winner, Butler is a career .303 batter with 1,287 RBI. He led the Federal League in home runs twice.
August 22 – The Scorpions 4-1 lead over the Gold Sox goes out of the window in the seventh inning, in which the Scorpions unravel to concede a full dozen runs to the Gold Sox, who win 13-6.

Complaints and stuff

Sssiss- iss… in..expl-…..plictcable…!! (throws bottle against the wall where it shatters) … iss…. (shakes up and starts to cry) … I wannn my Dann..yelll Haaaalll….!! (topples off the chair)

Zzzzzzzz

(some notes have been left on the desk, now free to look at)

[Release Jeff Boynton, pay out $629k]

[Ask Slappy to pick up Damani Knight at airport]

[St. Pete called – Prieto reported back]

[Toner to 65th in career K]

[express deepest regrets to Maud for making (illegible due to tears) umbrella stand]