[Westheim]

We returned to Portland to find someone had painted the sky black. Which, you know, was appropriate. It was how I felt on the inside, too.

Raccoons (28-27) vs. Crusaders (27-27) – June 7-10, 2021

The Crusaders didn’t yet know whether they wanted to be up or down, in or out, and thus hovered at .500 like a certain other team that had to do business for four days in Portland to begin this week. They were in theory not even comparable to the Raccoons, having scored only 213 runs, which ranked in the bottom three in the Continental League. On the other side of the ledger, they had conceded 227 runs, just four more than the Critters, which ranked them sixth, and their pitching staff was mostly mediocre. It spoke a volume or two that the Coons’ run differential trumped them by 74 runs, but the teams were only half a game apart anyway. The season series stood 2-1 in the Coons’ favor.

Projected matchups:
Tadasu Abe (1-3, 5.48 ERA) vs. Joe Jones (1-3, 3.76 ERA)
Michael Foreman (5-3, 2.09 ERA) vs. Cody Zimmerman (4-5, 3.26 ERA)
Travis Garrett (4-4, 4.94 ERA) vs. Dave Butler (5-3, 4.02 ERA)
Jonathan Toner (7-2, 3.30 ERA) vs. Hwa-pyung Choe (1-4, 3.38 ERA)

With up-and-coming Mike Rutkowski having torn his rotator cuff, the Crusaders were left with three left-handers and a messed-up right-hander the Raccoons just couldn’t hit against in addition to “Ant” Mendez (4-2, 4.05 ERA) in their rotation … and we would get all of them in sequence for this series. I think we might have trouble to pile up even ten runs in this series… My best attempt at coping was to rotate all the left-handed batters through the bench at least once during the first three games (so Jackson would sub for Mendoza, Cookie, and Hamilton once each f.e.) and pretend that we can come back from 28-31 afterwards.

Jones is a 23-year old rookie southpaw taken in the supplemental round in 2018 by New York. He is nothing special, ordinary 91mph heater, decent slider, neat splitter, not very enduring. He is almost as dull as a wall painted beige.

Watch him throw a no-no on Monday!

Game 1
NYC: LF Loya – CF Duarte – 2B S. Valdez – 1B Perkins – RF Erickson – 3B P. Cruz – C Parks – SS D. Jones – P J. Jones
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Nomura – RF Jackson – 1B Hamilton – C Margolis – SS McKnight – CF Stevenson – 3B Zuhlke – P Abe

Twice in the first two innings Joe Jones had the Raccoons down to their final strike with two men on base, and twice he surrendered a 2-run double that really, really hurt. Margolis found the gap in left center on a 1-2 pitch to drive in Cookie and Eddie Jackson in the first, and in the second inning it was Yoshi to double into the right-center gap in a full count to bring in Zuhlke and Cookie. Looking at Abe, however, four runs would probably not be enough for him. Ricky Loya had opened the game with a double to left, but had been stranded with consistent grounders to short after that. The Crusaders had two on in the top of the second, but hit into a double play. They didn’t score until the third, Alex Duarte enjoying a solo homer to center against the team that had dumped him years earlier. But Abe held on, and Jones didn’t – the rookie was gone before he finished five innings, removed after a long 3-run homer to right by Matt Hamilton in the bottom of the fifth. One run was unearned, Sergio Valdez’ grievous dropped pop allowing Yoshi Nomura to reach base to begin the inning. Jackson had then walked ahead of Hamilton. Yoshi reached on an error *again* - this time on Dan Jones’ – the following inning. Jeremy Waite walked Jackson to set up Hamilton again, this time with two out, but his grounder was cut off and played for the final out by Valdez.

With the score up to 7-1 this was now Abe’s to lose. The struggling co-ace had labored hard in the early innings, but the Crusaders had eased off him in the middle innings, and he started the seventh on four hits allowed and only 74 pitches. Something had to go wrong soon, else this was surely a dream. Zuhlke’s throwing error that put Pedro Cruz on second base with one out in the bottom 7th certainly fit in here. Jalen Parks drove in the (unearned) run with a double right away. Abe was hanging on a very thin string now; Jones grounded out, but Brian Skinner fired a drive to right center. Somehow the ball seemed to hang forever, seemingly trapped in a spacial anomaly. The temporary suspension of the laws of physics was all that allowed Eddie Jackson to get to the ball in the first place. He took it, the inning ended with Parks stranded at third. Abe would retire Loya and Duarte to start the eighth before we called on Sugano to face the left-handed middle of the order for the Crusaders. Between him and Jeff Boynton the Crusaders went down without much noise; the Coons scored a late run off Brian Doumas, a left-hander, to win by six. 8-2 Raccoons. Carmona 2-4; Jackson 1-2, 3 BB; Hamilton 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Margolis 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Stevenson 2-4, 2B; Zuhlke 2-4, 2B, RBI; Abe 7.2 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (2-3);

Hugo Mendoza did not appear in this game, leaving Yoshi Nomura and Ronnie McKnight as the last Coons to have featured in every contest this season. Neither of those two was in Tuesday’s lineup.

Game 2
NYC: LF Loya – CF Duarte – 2B S. Valdez – C J. Vargas – RF Erickson – 3B P. Cruz – 1B A. Young – SS D. Jones – P Zimmerman
POR: LF Carmona – CF Stevenson – RF Jackson – 1B Mendoza – C Margolis – 3B Nunley – SS Zuhlke – 2B Petracek – P Foreman

Foreman had traffic in each of the first three innings without the Crusaders ever reaching third base. Valdez singled in the first, but was caught stealing right away by Margolis; in the second, Jose Vargas was hit by a 2-2 pitch and Max Erickson singled, but a K to Cruz and a double play hit into by the perpetually hapless Adam Young ended that inning, and after Zimmerman singled in the third, Ricky Loya hit into a double play. The Coons had no base hits the first time through, with only Stevenson reaching on a walk. Cookie legged out a 2-out single in the bottom 3rd, although replays later showed that he was in fact out on the bang-bang play. Stevenson grounded out to end that inning. The Critters first reached scoring position in the fourth inning after singles by Jackson and Margolis, but now Nunley was right there to hit into a double play…

Foreman knocked the leadoff man for the second time in the game in the fifth inning, throwing a fastball into Erickson’s ribs. The Crusaders used Cruz to bunt before Young singled. Dan Jones doubled with runners on the corners, scoring the first run of the game, but hurt his knee sliding into second base and had to be replaced by Josh Perkins. Zimmerman managed to hit a sac fly to give himself a 2-0 lead. We were still waiting for any Coons offense in the game. Maybe Cookie’s leadoff single in the sixth would help. Stevenson however missed on a hit-and-run call and Cookie was thrown out at second base (which together with a CS on Monday put him at 0-for-10 in his last ten attempts…). Stevenson made the second out, after which Jackson doubled. Could have had a run right here! Instead, Mendoza hit a 2-out RBI single, but was then left on when Margolis grounded out to Cruz. Bottom 7th, Nunley led off with a single to center. Zuhlke bunted him to second, but Petracek grounded out to short, keeping him at second base. Yoshi batted for Foreman, who had completed seven innings on just over 100 pitches. His single to center scored Nunley, taking Foreman off the hook in what was now a 2-2 tie. Zimmerman, who had looked untouchable through five, now loaded the bases with another single hit by Cookie, and then Stevenson walked. This brought up Jackson, but the Crusaders would not send a right-handed pitcher. And why would they? Jackson grounded out to Perkins at short, and the inning was over.

Against the Coons’ pen the Crusaders left Loya on third base in the eighth inning (Chun had walked him with one out), but got a leadoff double from Vargas off Jason Kaiser in the ninth inning. Boynton came in to face the pinch-hitter Brian Skinner, struck him out, but surrendered the run on Cruz’ single. Sugano relieved him and got a double play from Young, but the Raccoons faced the loss now and the Crusaders’ Closer of the Week, Sean Casey, a right-hander with a 4.37 ERA in the bottom of the ninth. McKnight, Metts, and Cookie would ground out pathetically in quick succession. 3-2 Crusaders. Carmona 3-5; Jackson 2-4, 2B; Nunley 2-4; Nomura (PH) 1-1, RBI; Foreman 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 6 K;

Wednesday brought rain and the seasons’ first postponement. There was no way to play baseball in Portland on the 10th of June, but a couple of hardy guys were fishing for bass near the third base dugout at game time. Bless them.

A double header was scheduled for Thursday, which toppled at least the Raccoons’ rotation, since my long-standing philosophy has been to send the better guy into the early game in the hope of using less bullpen there and having more available later. Deciding between “Triple Crown” Toner and “Tragic” Travis was not that hard at all. The Crusaders stuck to their rotation, so Toner would now face Dave Butler instead of Choe.

Game 3
NYC: LF Loya – CF Duarte – 2B S. Valdez – C J. Vargas – 1B Perkins – RF Erickson – 3B P. Cruz – SS Parks* – P D. Butler
POR: 2B Nomura – RF Jackson – LF Mendoza – C Margolis – 1B Hamilton – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – SS McKnight – P Toner

While Toner walked Loya to start the game, struck out two, then still surrendered the run on two singles by Vargas and Perkins, the Coons were retired in order the first time through by Butler, who walked Yoshi to start the fourth inning. A throwing error by Parks on Jackson’s grounder to short put two Coons aboard for the middle of the order, but Mendoza hit into a double play. Margolis salvaged at least the tying run with a single to left, and the Critters got another single by Hamilton and a walk by Nunley to load the bags, but Stevenson’s fly to shallow center was caught by a hustling Duarte to leave three men on. Another odd 2-out rally in the bottom 5th resulted in no tangible yields when Butler hit Yoshi and walked Jackson, but Mendoza again couldn’t find a hurtful swing in his bat.

Toner had a few drawn out innings in the fourth and fifth, not getting a strikeout for ten consecutive batters, which was certainly newsworthy for a guy actively chasing 3,000 for his career. The Crusaders also couldn’t score off him, though, and maybe the Coons could get something started in the sixth, reaching base with as few as one out. Both Matts singled up the middle and occupied the corners for Josh Stevenson, who lined a 1-0 pitch to the left side, Cruz lunged but missed it, and the ball was into left for an RBI single, Coons ahead, 2-1! McKnight flew out to left and Toner grounded out to short to leave another two runners stranded. Toner allowed a 2-run double to Parks in the top of the seventh, but the Crusaders stuck to Butler, hoping for a comeback by the top of the order instead. Butler, left to fight and die for himself, figuratively did die at the plate, struck out on three pitches by Toner.

In a tightly fought game, Yoshi’s leadoff walk in the bottom 7th was important enough to send Petracek to run for him, but the fool got himself caught stealing, and the Coons didn’t score in the inning. Toner fell apart in a sudden motion in the eighth, hitting Loya and walking Duarte. Valdez grounded to short, but McKnight only got the out at second base, and then Vargas’ double into right center scored two and flipped the score. He didn’t remain on the hook; Sugano got out of the inning, and Danny Margolis tied the score at three with a leadoff jack off Butler in the bottom of the eighth. The loss instead would be on Chun. With two outs in the ninth, Jalen Parks parked a ball in the leftfield stands. Sean Casey had another 1-2-3 inning in the bottom 9th. 4-3 Crusaders. Nomura 0-1, 2 BB; Margolis 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Hamilton 3-4;

What a mood killer. And the best bit: the “Tragic” part hasn’t begun yet.

Game 4
NYC: LF Loya – CF Duarte – 2B S. Valdez – C J. Vargas – 1B Perkins – RF Erickson – 3B P. Cruz – SS Parks* – P Choe
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Nomura – RF Mendoza – 1B Hamilton – 3B Nunley – SS McKnight – CF Metts – C Olivares – P Garrett

The Raccoons somehow dingled out a run in the bottom of the first inning, Mendoza singling home Cookie, BEFORE hitting into the inevitable double play (Hamilton), but what use was it even with Garrett pitching? After a wobbly first, the Crusaders spanked him in the second inning. Josh Perkins’ leadoff jack tied the game, and Erickson and Cruz singled to go to the corners. Choe got himself a lead with a sac fly, and another run scored on Loya’s RBI double past Dwayne Metts. Duarte grounded out, leaving New York 3-1 ahead. With a leadoff walk to Valdez and the following long, long, way too long 2-run shot by Jose Vargas the game was quite definitely out of hand by the third inning, despite Choe finding a way to load the bases with walks after Ezequiel Olivares’ leadoff single in the bottom of the third. Mendoza, batting as the tying run, ****ing popped out to short. Choe walked Hamilton with the bases loaded, but that was all, with Loya retiring Nunley on the run in left center to end the inning. After a super-rare Olivares homer (of course a solo shot) in the bottom 4th and Garrett, who got way too much screen time thanks to the double header situation, surrendering that run right away again in the fifth, in which the lead-footed Vargas TRIPLED, the Coons STILL got to bat with the bases loaded and two outs again in the bottom of the fifth inning. The tying runs were aboard for Ronnie McKnight, who was receiving oxygen, mired in a 5-for-45 slump. On the first pitch, he flew out to center.

Garrett was allowed to do whatever until he filled his pitch count of 100, more or less, which took him six innings and as many runs. Choe was still fingering around in the 6-3 game in the bottom 6th with the tying run in the box again after an Olivares single and Jackson being put on with a Parks error, batting in Garrett’s spot. Cookie was next and flew to right for a sac fly, which was not an actual advancement of the Coons’ cause. Yoshi walked, bringing up Mendoza as the go-ahead run. Aaand the ****er grounded out.

Steve from Accounting had that very weird look on his face when I burst into his office in the seventh inning, crying profusely and obviously inebriated, because I needed a hug and for the love of my life couldn’t find Honeypaws. These invoices can be accounted for later, Steve. The GM needs his stuffed toy raccoon RIGHT. NOW. The game was certainly going to go on fine without either of us. Until Honeypaws was found hiding behind a plant in Maud’s room, the Crusaders had scorched Will West for three more runs, and I came back to my desk with Honeypaws and another bottle of booze just in time to see Dumbo Mendoza bat with two outs and two runners on base in the bottom 8th … and foul out behind home plate. There was not even enough mop-up potential left in the pen to actually mop up. Brett Lillis had to be bothered to pitch the ninth inning in a 9-4 defeat-in-progress, allowed a leadoff single to Valdez and then walked the bags full before actually retiring anybody. Erickson’s sac fly put the Crusaders into double digits. Cruz struck out, Parks flew out to Metts. Did anyone actually bother at this point? 10-4 Crusaders. Carmona 2-2, 2 BB, RBI; Olivares 3-4, HR, RBI;

UNDER .500, BABY!!

That was it for Garrett. The sucker found himself on the Interstate the very next day, along with his 5.29 ERA and his sorry expression that perpetually read ‘Yeah, sorry, but I did my utmost!’. Really sorry to tell you this, Travis, but your utmost is still UTTER DOG ****!!

(claps hands twice) Who wants a look at Jesus Chavez…!? Boy’s comin’ up! Chavez is the 23-year old Cuban we signed this winter to a 4-yr, $3.6M deal. He pitched on Wednesday, which aligns him perfectly for a Monday start in what was Garrett’s turn before the rainout.

But before the Coons could get to Monday and Chavez, they had to play the best team in baseball.

Raccoons (29-30) vs. Scorpions (36-23) – June 11-13, 2021

The defending champions held a comfy 4 1/2 game lead in the FL West. They were second in the FL in scoring, and their pitching was doing just enough to not soil everything for them like it had happened to the team that still led the CL in runs scored (although that edge was nearly eroded now). Their rotation was an actual weak spot with a 4.57 ERA that was well in the bottom half in the Federal League, but at least they had a strong, top 3 bullpen. They had allowed 267 runs compared to their 324 scored. Thus their run differential was actually smaller than the Coons.

These teams would play another in interleague fashion for the third year in a row. The Coons had picked but one victory from those six games, and hadn’t won a series against the Scorpions since 2016.

Projected matchups:
Hector Santos (5-3, 4.91 ERA) vs. Brian Simmons (5-3, 7.45 ERA)
Tadasu Abe (2-3, 4.85 ERA) vs. Ian Rutter (4-4, 3.26 ERA)
Michael Foreman (5-3, 2.13 ERA) vs. Jaylen Symonds (6-1, 3.32 ERA)

Simmons will be the fourth southpaw to fail against this week. After that, Rutter is the guy that was still chasing Jonny Toner in the career strikeout table as the season began, but who has fallen off a bit at this point. Symonds, 29, only made it to the rotation two years ago. Last year he went 16-9, but with a 5.12 ERA. Maybe he’s due for a beating… Yes, I am reaching for straws here.

Oh damn it. WE’RE OUT OF ****ING STRAWS.

Game 1
SAC: SS Rock – LF Stross – CF Meade – RF P. Sanchez – 1B Rockwell – 3B LaCombe – 2B Ri. Luna – C C. Ramirez – P Simmons
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Nomura – RF Jackson – 1B Hamilton – C Margolis – 3B Nunley – CF Stevenson – SS Zuhlke – P Santos

Neither team reached second base for a long, long time. The Scorpions had two hits off Santos the first time through, both singles. Pablo Sanchez was caught stealing by Margolis, while Simmons snipped a single with two down in the third and was left on base when Trey Rock grounded out. The Coons only got Stevenson on the first time through with a leadoff single, but Zuhlke wrapped him up in a double play. Second base wasn’t touched until the fifth inning, in which the former Atlanta slugger Gil Rockwell singled to left and then was bunted over to second by Jason LaCombe, a very good batter in his own right. Ricky Luna struck out, Santos’ 5th K in the game, which left a .164 batting dilemma in the box. Why walk Chris Ramirez to begin with here? The Scorpions’ primary catcher, Jaiden Jackson, was on the DL and Ramirez was a terrible replacement. No intentional walk shall be wasted to him. He singled sharply to center, Rockwell scored, and the Raccoons were in agony once more. Actually, Simmons found another single off Santos as well, so things wouldn’t have mattered to begin with, but … Trey Rock grounded out to Hamilton to end the inning.

Hamilton bombed Simmons on a 410-footer to lead off the bottom of the fifth, levelling the score at one. It was due time to do something against a pitcher with an ERA over SEVEN. While Santos somehow held out against the raw power potential in the Scorpions’ order, the Coons had an unearned opportunity going in the bottom of the sixth. Cookie reached when Rockwell dropped Ricky Luna’s feed for a 1-out error, then went to third on Yoshi’s single to rightfield. Then Jackson hit a 3-2 pitch mighty hard, but right at LaCombe, who turned the double play to end the inning. LaCombe upped the pressure with a leadoff walk in the seventh, but was forced out at second base by Margolis, who played Luna’s terrible grounder in front of the plate perfectly before firing a laser to McKnight. Ramirez struck out, Simmons – still in the game – popped out to leave Luna on first. After Hamilton’s leadoff single in the bottom 7th Margolis even had a chance to get the Coons the lead, but his drive to deep right was caught by a racing Pablo Sanchez, and Nunley smacked a ball right at Rock for a double play.

Santos retired with a no-decision, with Kaiser and Bricker getting through the eighth. Bricker struck out Ray Meade, a bit of a Neil Reece type of player, handing him a golden sombrero after three strikeouts against Santos. Simmons was still going in the bottom 8th and FINALLY made another mistake. This one a *69*mph hanger that allowed Josh Stevenson to zoom in on it for several minutes before blasting it over the fence in right center. Leadoff jack, 2-1 lead for the home team! Zuhlke singled, still no pitching replacement in sight. Mendoza walked while hitting for Bricker, and Jackson hit a 2-out single to load the bases. Hamilton in the box, still no reliever anywhere near. Aaaand he popped out on the infield… (deep sigh) That brought in Lillis for the ninth. His last save on Sunday had not been for consumption by kids, pregnant women, or the mentally weak, and this was a tough lineup to pitch to in any circumstance. Rockwell led off, grounding to Nunley, whose throw was dropped by Hamilton. Leadoff man on base on the error. Good grief…! LaCombe bunted the runner to second, but Lillis whiffed Luna. Ramirez didn’t get another chance to prove himself – this was for the gold! Left-handed batter Justin McAllester was nothing special, but at least batted more than his own weight at .262, and got to hit in the #8 hole. And struck out. 2-1 Blighters. Hamilton 2-4, HR, RBI; Stevenson 3-3, HR, RBI; Santos 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 8 K;

Stop the presses, the Coons won a 1-run game.

Game 2
SAC: SS Rock – LF Stross – CF Meade – RF P. Sanchez – 1B Rockwell – 3B LaCombe – 2B Ri. Luna – C C. Ramirez – P Rutter
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Nomura – RF H. Mendoza – 1B Hamilton – C Margolis – 3B Nunley – SS McKnight – CF Metts – P Abe

The Coons got a run in the first inning after Ian Rutter loaded the bases with a walk to Yoshi and consecutive singles after that. Margolis grounded to LaCombe, whose only choice was at first base, with Yoshi coming across to score. Pablo Sanchez spoiled a Nunley fly to right near the foul line to end the inning. While Abe staved off leadoff runners in the first and second, the Coons had runners on the corners in the bottom 2nd and two outs when Yoshi grounded to Rock. The throw to first was well wild and Rockwell couldn’t come up with it. Metts scored from third, and Cookie and Yoshi were awaiting good deeds by Mendoza in scoring position, but the only other run scoring in the inning would come home on a wild pitch by Rutter. And while Rutter, the 2020 FL Pitcher of the Year, certainly didn’t have a good day, that much was true for more players on the team. Dwayne Metts was on second base with nobody out in the fourth inning; he had drawn a leadoff walk and had stolen second base. Abe was to bunt here, did so, and Chris Ramirez pounced and threw another egg past Rockwell, this one sailing into the stands. Metts scored, 4-0, and Abe was moved to second base, where he got doubled off when Cookie Carmona lined out to Ricky Luna.

The game descended into a total mess in the middle innings. Margolis joined the long list of players to throw away balls with a gruesome throwing error on Ricky Luna’s stolen base attempt in the fifth inning. Luna had led off with a single, took third base on the ill throw, and came home on Ramirez single under a diving Yoshi’s glove into centerfield. Rutter’s bunt was bad enough for Nunley to throw out Ramirez at second base, but Trey Rock split the gap in right center for an RBI triple to get the Scorpions to 4-2. Doug Stross grounded out to score him, 4-3, which pulled up Ray Meade, who was 0-for-6 with 6 K in the series, and … struck out. Oh dear. Abe retired nobody in the sixth inning, putting Sanchez on with a leadoff single before advancing him on a wild pitch. He then walked Rockwell anyway. Kaiser inherited a 4-3 lead, two on, and nobody out, LaCombe bunted again, and Kaiser’s throw to first was nowhere near Yoshi Nomura, instead sailing into the Coons’ dugout where it caromed around and scattered the resident Critters, except for Adam Zuhlke, who was on a piece of creamy pie, at least until the havocing ball finally came his way and knocked the plate from beneath and smashed the pie into his face.

Pie in the face the team had as a whole, now in a 4-4 tie with two men in scoring position for the Stingers. Ricky Luna took care of that, sending a pitch into the leftfield corner for a 2-out double. Ramirez struck out, Rutter popped out, and then Trey Rock grounded to Nunley, who booted the ball. The fifth error in the game, and the third for Coon City put men on the corners for Stross, who struck out eventually. A rain shower – probably the damn baseball gods shedding tears of joy – chased Rutter before he got an out in the bottom of the sixth, with McKnight hitting a single against him. After the delay, Eddie Jackson doubled off right-hander Rich Hewitt in the pitcher’s spot, and Cookie walked to fill the bases for Nomura, but Yoshi grounded to short for the easy double play to end the inning… With that, madness ended. The Raccoons had only one base runner against the Scorpions pen, and the Raccoons’ Boynton, Chun, and West somehow managed not to get blown up in the last three despite trying. Nobody scored another run. 6-4 Scorpions. Hamilton 2-5; McKnight 2-4; Jackson (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Ray Meade hit for a golden sombrero for the second straight day. After three strikeouts against Abe, he also got whiffed by Boynton, but finally ended his string of futility by hitting a drive to left off Will West in the ninth. Cookie robbed him of extra bases, though, so he’s now 0-for-9 with 8 K in the series.

This was also the last outing for West; he was sent back to AAA with Adam Cowen coming off the DL. I wasn’t against keeping West around a while longer, but he had already cleared waivers once this season, and Cowen didn’t have options, either, so it was West’s turn to go back to St. Pete.

Metts’ steal was his second of the season. He is only the second Coon to steal as many as TWO.

Yes it’s June. I have a calendar!

Game 3
SAC: SS Rock – LF Stross – CF Meade – RF P. Sanchez – 1B Rockwell – 3B LaCombe – 2B Ri. Luna – C C. Ramirez – P Symonds
POR: LF Carmona – 2B Nomura – RF H. Mendoza – 1B Hamilton – 3B Nunley – SS McKnight – CF Metts – C Olivares – P Foreman

After Yoshi walked, Mendoza hit a double to centerfield to give the Coons runners in scoring position with one out in the bottom 1st. Hamilton’s groundout scored one, Nunley walked, but McKnight couldn’t break out of his funk and struck out. While Foreman held the Scorpions to more or less one runner an inning to prevent harm, the Raccoons upped it against Symonds in the third. With Yoshi on base after a leadoff single, Mendoza popped another mighty shot to center, this time trending a bit to the right and outta here, 3-0. Bottom 5th, Yoshi on base again with a 1-out single, and for the third time Mendoza hit Symonds a ton, this time on a hanger in the middle of the zone at 3-2. This one went to right-ish center as well and was measured 415 feet as it clanked off the edge of the batter’s eye, extending the Critters’ lead to 5-0. After five, the Coons had five hits, all by the #2 and #3 batters.

Symonds was gone by the sixth, his spot in the order coming up leading off in the top of the inning against Foreman, who had spent just 48 pitches on a 3-hit shutout so far. McAllester hit for Symonds, but grounded out. When Rock singled and Stross walked, the Scorpions had two men aboard for the first time in the game, but with Meade up, who by now was 0-for-11 with 9 K and a double play. We could use another one of those! Nope, Foreman lost him on four pitches, and the bases were loaded. The Scorpions were held to a sac fly by Sanchez (who was scratching on the .400 mark at this point and could have done real damage without the offense-killing Meade in this series) before Foreman struck out Rockwell, but the inning had cost him 26 pitches. Foreman went to the eighth before running out of steam for good. John Staebell’s pinch-hit leadoff single was erased when Rock grounded sharply to Yoshi, but Stross’ full-count, 2-out walk ended Foreman’s day. As he departed with a gentle pat on the bum, Chun was sent after Meade, who grounded out to Yoshi to leave Stross on. The Coons began the bottom 8th against Rich Hewitt with two men on after McKnight’s leadoff single and a walk drawn by Dwayne Metts, but Olivares hit into a double play and Zuhlke also grounded out. With two lefties up, the ninth was Sugano’s, but runners were on the corners three batters in. Rockwell (the right-handed bat in the set of three) had walked, and LaCombe had singled up the rightfield line. Lillis came into the game after all, but wouldn’t close out the game until AFTER a very cruel 3-run homer by Ricky Luna… 5-4 Coons. Nomura 2-2, 2 BB; Mendoza 3-4, 2 HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Metts 0-1, 3 BB; Foreman 7.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, W (6-3);

In other news

June 7 – Dallas’ SP Mo Robinson (6-4, 3.23 ERA) 2-hits the Pacifics in a 5-0 shutout. He strikes out and walks four each.
June 9 – DAL SS Manny Ferrer (.284, 4 HR, 17 RBI) keeps hitting! Two hits in a 5-4 win over the Pacifics put the 25-year old at 30 consecutive games with at least one base hit in each.
June 9 – The Loggers trade for LVA MR Edwin Balandran (3-2, 2.81 ERA). The price for the 28-year old southpaw are two prospects, including #60 SS/3B Zach Brandon.
June 9 – PIT RF Justin Quinn (.277, 4 HR, 12 RBI) misses the cycle by the triple in a 5-hit performance over the Capitals. The Miners lose, 6-5, despite Quinn hitting for nine bases.
June 10 – The hitting streak of DAL SS Manny Ferrer (.279, 4 HR, 17 RBI) ends at 30 games after he goes 0-for-4 in Thursday’s game in Dallas. In the same game, LAP OF Jon Berntson (.256, 2 HR, 28 RBI) hits three doubles and two singles and drives in two in the Pacifics’ 12-4 mashing of the Stars.
June 10 – The Cyclones send 1B Luis Moreira (.288, 5 HR, 30 RBI) to the Rebels in exchange for SP Josh Knupp (6-2, 2.24 ERA). It is an odd trade from Cincy’s point of view, trading the reigning FL Rookie of the Year for a 34-year old right-hander who clearly has a career season.
June 11 – The Bayhawks trade 36-year old C Errol Spears (.333, 5 HR, 33 RBI) to the Aces for 26-year old AAA INF Sean Light and unranked pitching prospect Alex Cordova.
June 11 – Seven runs in the top of the 12th inning decidedly tip the Pacifics’ and Titans’ game into the former’s favor. L.A. wins, 12-5. Nobody on their team drives in more than two runs.
June 12 – TOP CL Mike Baker (2-3, 4.85 ERA, 9 SV) has to seek treatment for a bone spur in his elbow and will miss a month.
June 13 – The Thunder pull a wild one out of the dustbin against the Cyclones, scoring back-to-back 6-spots in the seventh and eighth to come from behind and win 16-11. OCT INF Eric Paull (.246, 4 HR, 21 RBI) drives in two while landing four base hits.

Complaints and stuff

(pulls up a huge cardboard box, open at the top, that has “SOLUTIONS!” scrawled with black permanent marker onto one of the sides out from behind the desk and puts it on top of it)

This box … (points at box) … is currently empty. I threw in a note that read “KILL THEM ALL!!” but Maud told me I couldn’t do it and tore the paper in half. I literally got nothing else. Who would have thought that the answer to picking a loser this year would be the Critters?

Bright sides. Good draft pick incoming. Also, an actual draft next week. Just at the right time for a bit of distraction and falls hopes to get me through the summer. I must say that this year is more and more turning into 1997. I get flashbacks. Next thing will probably be Cookie Carmona telling me that I suck and that he wants to be traded northwards.

1997 was also the last year in Portland of fan favorite Vern Kinnear who wore a black #9 on the brown shirt AND NEVER ANYTHING ELSE. (deletes Vern’s Trickypedia picture for the 16th time) Currently unsigned for 2022: Abe, Santos, Margolis, Jackson, Bricker, and Sugano. I wonder whether we will have to make major efforts. The next six weeks might see some of them gone already.

You know we have no prospects, right? If I start selling, this team will play Juan Diazes and Yoshi Yamadas every day. They might even lose a hundred. Coons haven’t lost a hundred in over 40 years.

ABL CAREER STRIKEOUT LEADERS
67th – Fernando Chavez – 1,946
68th – Fernando Cruz – 1,918 – active
69th – Jim Harrington – 1,907
70th – Andres Ramirez – 1,895 – HOF
71st – Jorge Chapa – 1,886
72nd – Jonathan Toner – 1,882 – active
73rd – Greg Cain – 1,875
74th – Mark Warburton – 1,861
75th – Jesus Bautista – 1,860
[…]
85th – Manuel Ortíz – 1,796 – active
86th – Raimundo Beato – 1,791
87th – John Collins – 1,758
88th – Ramón Jimenez – 1,743
89th – Pedro Alvarado – 1,738 – active, free agent
90th – Hector Santos – 1,736 – active
91st – Lou Corbett – 1,733
t-92nd – Daniel Dickerson – 1,730
t-92nd – Samuel McMullen – 1,730 – active

*Yes this is the catcher at short. No, they can’t find a backup shortstop. The Jones injury broke them in half. I refuse to discuss this further.