[Westheim]

It’s Christmas Eve. Chad has passed out on the couch, softly snoozing from under the raccoon head, with one of those red Christmas hats hung over the mascot head’s nose. Maud made all of us around here wear them, including Gabriel Martinez, whose hat was never seen again afterwards (I assume he killed it, then ate it, raw) and also pulled one of the hats over my head, and I wore it for about three seconds, a new world record. I hate everything that resembles simple joy. My joys are limited to winning World Championships.

I have not had joy in 25 years.

Maud didn’t mind, she was humming and singing and decorating all week before the holidays, which normally also wasn’t her style. I ended up learning from Steve from Accounting that the reason that she wore something other than gray for the first time in a decade was that she was going to have her first date* with an actual* living* man* since ’09.

*There are individual past experiences she has that warrant every single one of those asterisks…

And bless her, but we had some actual baseball business to conduct ‘round here, and the Raccoons were thoroughly active in December and locked up three new players for the coming season! But please, spare your excitement, Sam McMullen is not gonna be among them. Not by a mile.

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December 3 – The Miners acquire 32-yr old SP/MR Ed Michaels (55-59, 4.24 ERA) from the Thunder, parting with two prospects, and send two more prospects the Blue Sox’ way for 26-yr old MR Justin Stewart (4-4, 3.98 ERA, 1 SV). None of the four prospects are very special.
December 4 – The Rebels add ex-PIT CL Matt Collins (51-30, 2.61 ERA, 157 SV). The 35-year old left-hander will get $4.94M over three years.
December 4 – The Loggers get SP Troy McCaskill (44-30, 3.67 ERA) in a trade with the Condors, sending SS/2B Cameron Konrath (.266, 12 HR, 84 RBI) and a prospect to Tijuana.
December 4 – The Indians trade LF/CF Josh Baker (.257, 4 HR, 91 RBI) to the Capitals for C Nolan Mancuso (.231, 10 HR, 69 RBI). What looks like a switch of backups does also send promising, but yet unranked pitching prospect Killian Savoie to Indianapolis.
December 5 – The Raccoons pick up 27-yr old SS/2B Tim Prince (.266, 11 HR, 114 RBI) in a trade with the Miners, who receive 24-yr old AAA SP Chris Munroe (8-16, 4.52 ERA).
December 5 – The Loggers part with their closer Troy Charters (17-22, 4.39 ERA, 70 SV), sending him to the Dallas Stars for two prospects.
December 8 – The Warriors strike big in the pitching market, signing ex-VAN SP Sam McMullen (80-63, 3.25 ERA) to a 6-year deal that will earn the 29-year old southpaw $22.64M.
December 12 – The Pacifics sign ex-NYC INF Carlos Martinez (.257, 157 HR, 742 RBI) to a 2-year deal that will leave the 34-year old player with $1.88M.
December 14 – 34-year old superstar LF/RF Jose “Dingus” Morales (.329, 295 HR, 1,190 RBI), coming off the Warriors’ roster, signs a 2-yr, $7.12M deal with the Cyclones. There are health concerns with Morales, which probably prevented him from getting a longer deal.
December 15 – Another ex-Warrior is signed elsewhere, as 1B Stanley Murphy (.288, 292 HR, 1,217 RBI) hooks up with the Gold Sox. The 38-year old first baseman will earn $1.72M for one season of his precious services.
December 16 – 35-yr old World Champion 1B Alberto Rodriguez (.294, 132 HR, 972 RBI) is signed by the Scorpions for three years and $8.56M.
December 17 – The Raccoons sign ex-SFB LF/RF Eddie Jackson (.267, 58 HR, 388 RBI) to a 2-yr, $1.5M contract.
December 17 – After four years in Sacramento and New York, CL Helio Maggessi (56-35, 2.30 ERA, 164 SV) comes home to Indianapolis, having pitched for the Indians from 2006 through 2013. The 33-year old reliever will make a whopping $5.88M over three years.
December 20 – Moving inside the CL North, ex-IND C Dave Padilla (.281, 49 HR, 324 RBI) signs with the Canadiens, pocketing $6M over four years.
December 20 – The Crusaders also find themselves a new catcher in ex-PIT C Bartholomeu Pino (.266, 246 HR, 1,077 RBI). The 36-year old right-hander will receive $4.66M over three years.
December 21 – Former Thunder SP Brian Benjamin (49-61, 4.39 ERA) gets a 3-yr, $2.88M deal from the Stars.
December 23 – The Raccoons get pitching help with ex-Loggers SP Ricky Mendoza (107-98, 4.49 ERA). The 34-year old right-hander signs for one year and $450k.
December 24 – 32-year old right-hander Tim Winston (90-85, 3.82 ERA), a former Scorpion, joins the Rebels for 2-yr, $2.76M.

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Signed out of the Greater Hoboken Beer League by the Miners in December 2015, Tim Prince won the Gold Glove at second base and the 2016 FL Rookie of the Year award. He is a bit of an on-base type o’ guy and doesn’t really have any power. He is a right-handed batter, and there would be the possibility to have him start at second base and get Shane Walter to start at first base. Mendoza would start in right, or could even relieve Cookie in center and we move Cookie to right.

Also, Tim Prince is happy to be here.

This is a bit of a trade that only works out for us if Chris Munroe was really a flash in the pan. If the Miners realign him by bending his appendages into the correct positions, this was one of those all-time terrible trades, because Munroe looked like an actual gold grab in 2016, but couldn’t get anybody out last year. Prince doesn’t make the lineup better, except against left-handed pitching, where he makes it less one-dimensional and less prone to complete chokes.

This was at the winter meetings, with several other useful players that were either veterans who knew they weren’t getting a 6-year deal, or in one case a certified playoff dream killer, that the Raccoons were still after. None of them was batting left-handed. We had well enough left-handed bats, we needed more right-handed hitting.

I was after a number of free agents and we offered more or less every penny that was available at the time, bidding on five players total. One of those was 35-year old Clay Messer, who was able to competently man almost every corner position and was a right-handed batter, but we actually ran out of money and were out-bid by the Gold Sox for his services. Not that this was the end of the world. We’re talking about players that were on six teams in six years and that are willing to sign for $300k in December.

Not from that mold was Eddie Jackson, who had played a big part in beating the Critters in the CLCS in October. He was exactly the meaningful, right-handed bat off the bench and to sub out R.J. DeWeese, who was not pretty to look at against left-handed pitching at all, that the Raccoons had lacked between Margolis and Bergquist in 2017. And 2016. And …

And who knows, if he hits well in April, maybe I will not poison him.

Then there is Mendoza, whose output in the last few years was totally not pretty, but I keep thinking that bad defense hurt him with all those relatively high BABIP’s and that is something that should be helped on an infield with McKnight, Nunley, and the recent addition Prince or Shane Walter at second base. He looks like he has the potential to be better than Damani Knight, and that is all we could ask for right at the end of our budget.

Said budget room is still extremely tightly squeezed with two more offers out there to another infielder and a relief pitcher.

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Other former Coons and what they will be up to: the Crusaders signed William Waggoner for merely $434k during the winter meetings. A.J. Bartels gets $476k from the Elks to fool around in a pink hat in 2018. Brendan Teasdale got $236k from the Thunder.