[Ty Cobb]

During the holiday season, may all your lives be full of joy and good company. May all your meals be tasty; may you, your friends, and your families be blessed; may your health be good; may you have peace; and may God see fit to remove night baseball and the designated hitter.

May God also forgive me if that last semi-colon is supposed to be a comma—as a grammar hawk, I'd never hear the end of it!