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The Oakland Telegraph
16 November 2032
Oakland fans' loyalty to the club increases after latest World Series triumph
By Maurie Ipsos, market research correspondent
Oakland announced last night announced the results of a push poll, sorry, rigorously conducted market research survey, which found that the loyalty of the team's fans has increased to "Above Average" level. How marvellous. It has only taken 8 World Series wins to reach those lofty heights.
Club sources said that the news has led Korean-German owner Ban-ki Rupt to loosen his purse strings a little. GM Paulie Beane got his biggest surprise for years when Rupt reportedly told him he was increasing the payroll budget by $10m to $160m. That's still the lowest in the majors, just not quite by so much. Beane and his analyst Mike Rosoft-Excel are apparently hastily reviewing their payroll projections and plans as we speak.
Meanwhile, a full 15 years after winning his first Cy Young award at Kansas City, 39-year-old Los Angeles Dodgers starting pitcher Christian Binford has won it again. The veteran of veterans threw for 22-7 with a 3.03 ERA from 238 innings. An outstanding effort. He seems unaware of such a thing as an ageing process.
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