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The Oakland Telegraph
26 April 2032
Brown leads Oakland's early season charge
By Ty D. Start, opening fortnight correspondent
Plus ca change, plus ca meme chose. It's a new season and only a fortnight old, many of the players of each team have changed, but already Oakland and St. Louis are once again leading the way in their respective leagues. St. Louis have finished the first two weeks of the season at 9-3, while the A's stand at 9-4.
Featuring heavily on the highlights reel for Oakland has been shortstop Liam Brown. The 25-year-old, entering his fourth season at the Coliseum, has hit 21-55, with a .410 on-base percentage and .973 OPS. It all adds up to a decidedly tasty .413 wOBA. Brown said, "Hitting coach Noah Hitter has worked hard with me on my game, and I'm delighted how well it's going right so far this year. I now slightly regret signing that 3-year, $4.2m per year contract extension last season. I'm going to be getting Scott Boredass on the phone next time my contract is expiring."
General manager Paulie Beane told reporters he "110% backed" starter Brad Dundee, who has found things tricky in his first three starts since his nasty torn rotator thingy injury. The 28-year-old righty is 0-1 with a 7.11 ERA. "Form is temporary, class is permanent ", Beane said, optimistically. "No excuses, I've been garbage", confessed Dundee.
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