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The Oakland Telegraph
30 June 2031
A's wallop 8 home runs against Texas, but still need 13 innings to win
By A. Toamruns, big bats correspondent
On the one hand, A's GM Paulie Beane was delighted. His lineup last night smashed the hapless pitching of the Texas Rangers for no fewer than EIGHT home runs. No more than eight, but no fewer either. On the other hand, Beane was none too thrilled by the performance of his relief corps who nearly managed to throw the game away, and was pretty hacked off that eight home runs yielded only ten runs in total. The A's triumphed 10-7.
When Juan Jimenez hit a solo bomb in the top of 8th inning, Oakland's fourth of the day at that point, it made the score 5-1 and it looked all over. But Beane's inexperienced bullpen is stretching to breaking point his attempts to continue with his calmer behaviour, last night bringing him to the brink of returning to his old habit of breaking doors, windows, furniture, walls and anything else in his office which can be hit, in frustrated rages. Jose Duran and Porter Hawkins combined to let the Rangers score 3 in the bottom of the 8th, before Gonzalo Avila, doing his best to dispense himself of the pressure of closer duties, blew his fifth save of the year as Texas levelled it up.
Much to everyone's surprise given the form of both relief corps, there was no further scoring until the 13th inning, when all hell broke loose. Oakland tried to make a late entry into the home run derby, as they whacked no fewer (and again, no more) than 4 deep shots in the inning, as they put up 5 runs. But more drama was to follow. Pitching his third inning of relief by that point, righty Jorge Sanchez decided to keep the crowd entertained by giving up a 2-run homer in the bottom of the inning. Field manager Phil D'Manager was physically spitting feathers by that point, and, if his thunderous looks could kill, Sanchez would have been vaporised on the spot, leaving only a pair of smoking shoes. Sanchez hurriedly wrapped up the win, leaving the pitch without so much as a glance in D'Manager's direction, lest he spontaneously combust.
The victory moves the A's to 46-30. As we approach the halfway stage, it's currently a nail biting two-way dogfight at the top of the American League West, with Oakland holding a negligible one game lead over Houston. The LA Angels's long wait for a postseason campaign looks set to continue, as they have fallen right away and are back where they usually reside, below .500.
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