The Oakland Telegraph
1 August 2030
Awards for Morris and Dundee as Oakland complete fabulous 22-4 month in July
By Red Hotbaseball, in-form teams correspondent
It's almost unfair. They're already the world champions. Now they are once again by far the hottest team in Major League Baseball. Despite losing 3-2 to the Los Angeles Dodgers in yesterday's game, the Oakland A's closed out a sensational month of July where they went 22-4 overall, which included separate winning streaks of eleven games and nine games. That represents the best monthly performance during Paulie Beane's fifteen year stewardship of the club, surpassing the previous best month of 20-4 in July of 2028. The run has moved the A's to 70-32, which puts them on pace to set a new club record wins tally. The American League West title looks all but assured, with them now holding a scarcely believable 18-game lead over the rest. They have 8 wins more than any other team in the whole of the major leagues.
Unsurprisingly, A's players cleaned up in the monthly awards for July. Left fielder William Morris celebrated his increasingly crazily cheap long-term deal by winning AL batter of the month. He hit .337 with 9 home runs and 29 RBIs. And Brad Dundee was virtually unhittable, winning AL pitcher of the month after going 5-0 with a 0.42 ERA from 43 innings.
A spokesman for the other 29 clubs said, "Could Oakland please give the rest of us a chance? Baseball is supposed to be a game of fine margins, but we're getting battered at the moment. It would help hugely maintain competitive balance if us MLB Managers had the waiver and rule 5 draft arrangements that are in operation in less imaginary universes, as this would prevent Oakland from recruiting and hoarding quite so much young talent. Not that this is a case of sour grapes of course. Our concern is solely, yes solely, for the integrity and competitiveness of the sport, and nothing whatsoever with us simply being totally jealous of Paulie Beane's success in recent years, and that we would sell our own mothers without a second thought for the opportunity to swap places with them".
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