[Westheim]

Raccoons (21-36) vs. Loggers (23-33) – June 6-9, 2005

The Loggers had a -52 run differential, ranking 10th in both runs scored and runs allowed. Would the historically bad Raccoons be able to capitalize on a dud pitching staff? We’d have to sweep this 4-set to get out of last place, which will probably not happen – at all. We have split the first four-game set we played this season.

Projected matchups:
Ben Carlson (1-5, 5.42 ERA) vs. Armando Gomez (2-5, 6.79 ERA)
Nick Brown (5-4, 3.00 ERA) vs. Dani Alvarado (4-5, 2.97 ERA)
Edgar Amador (2-9, 5.11 ERA) vs. Martin Garcia (2-4, 3.33 ERA)
Ralph Ford (1-3, 3.94 ERA) vs. Ramiro Gonzalez (7-5, 3.76 ERA)

This could be the last start for the Fat Cat. We have absolutely nothing in hand at the AAA level, but this can’t go on like that…

We’d get three left-handed starters (all but Alvarado), and that gives us some chances to play Searcy more, and Clyde Brady will also get an off day, sitting his 13-game hitting streak in the opener.

Game 1
MIL: C Benitez – CF Fletcher – SS T. Johnson – RF Hiwalani – 1B M. Woods – 3B Tolwith – 2B K. Scott – LF Phillip – P A. Gomez
POR: 1B Sharp – LF Fernandez – 3B Searcy – RF Greenman – C L. Ramirez – SS Yamada – 2B Sheehan – CF King – P Carlson

Gomez gave himself the lead with a 2-out RBI single in the second inning. Carlson gave out freebies, and issued a staggering six walks while collecting just nine outs and loading the bags in the fourth inning. That was enough, and Kichida took over the game down 2-0 and Tom Johnson at the plate, surrendered a sac fly to him and then struck out Hiwalani and Woods to escape with a 3-0 deficit. Bakile Hiwalani continued being that live-long thorn in the Coons’ side, making numerous catches on drives to deep right in this game, and the one time the Coons’ hopes didn’t go to die at Hiwalani’s place, Searcy hit into an inning-ending double play. The seventh was Hiwalani’s again, shagging Sharp’s bloop to shallow right to end the inning with King stranded as the tying run. Matt King had driven in a pair with a single before that to get the Coons back to 3-2. Gomez continued in the eighth, retiring Fernandez and Searcy before Greenman reached with a single. Ramirez fired a shot into the gap in right center, unreachable even for the resented Hiwalani, and Greenman made it home safely, tying the score. Gomez remained in with Yamada and his sorry .218 average next, but Yamada zinged it into right and gave the Furballs the lead! Yamada then stole his second base of the day and scored on Sheehan’s single. Then it was Huerta who was handed the 5-3 lead. There were all-righties in the Loggers’ lineup, Kichida had been used, and Bruno and Rockburn (and to which success! …) had both pitched two consecutive days, while Huerta was fresh. Fletcher and Johnson reached on an infield single and a walk with nobody out before Hiwalani struck out in a full count. Woods grounded out to short, and Tolwith grounded out to second, to somehow let this one drop into the Coons’ lap. 5-3 Raccoons. Sharp 2-4; Ramirez 3-4, 2B, RBI; Yamada 2-4, RBI; Sheehan 2-4, RBI; Kichida 4.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K;

I know we are a last place team and have no hope of ever leaving that unhappy place, and we might well lose over 100 games this season, but if Carlson keeps having these all-off days, I will not be able to get around meatcleavering him…

Game 2
MIL: 2B B. Hernandez – CF Fletcher – RF Hiwalani – SS T. Johnson – 1B M. Woods – 3B Tolwith – C Benitez – LF K. Scott – P Alvarado
POR: LF Brady – SS Yamada – CF Fernandez – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – 3B Searcy – C Wood – 2B Nomura – P Brown

Brownie faced an all-right-handed lineup, and Jerry Fletcher took him deep right in the first inning with a solo shot, 1-0. The first meaningful advance of the Coons into scoring position came in the fourth and was owed to a wild pitch that allowed Al Martin to reach second base with two down. Searcy duly made the third out without accidentally breaking Alvarado’s line. In the fifth we had Nomura on first with Brown not getting a bunt down and eventually kicking one foul for a third strike, and THEN Brady singled only for Yamada to strand pair. From the ridiculous to the grandiose then, as fearsome .045 batter Dani Alvarado stroked a leadoff single on the first pitch in the sixth, then advanced on a hit-and-run as Hernandez grounded out to short. Brownie looked annoyed into the Loggers dugout, then struck out Fletcher and Hiwalani, angrily pounding his glove on the way to his own trench on the sidelines. Brownie went eight, stranding runners on the corners in his last inning, before being hit for by Wheaton in the bottom of the eighth, another 1-2-3 affair. And in a 1-0 game, the Loggers didn’t even think about bothering their closer. Alvarado obviously had the Coons in his pocket. Sharp hit for Fernandez to start the ninth, singling to center. Sharp immediately went out again, with Matt King running for him. Greenman singled to center, but Jerry Fletcher had it quickly, and King held at second base. And then, the inevitable double play hit into by Martin. Ramirez hit for Searcy, lobbed one up the right field line, but Hiwalani – of course – snagged it. 1-0 Loggers. Brady 2-4; Martin 2-4; Brown 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, L (5-5);

The fail is strong in this team.

Game 3
MIL: 2B B. Hernandez – CF Fletcher – SS T. Johnson – RF Hiwalani – 1B M. Woods – 3B Tolwith – C J. Reyes – LF Kaberman – P M. Garcia
POR: LF Brady – 2B Sheehan – 3B Sharp – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – CF King – SS Yamada – C Wood – P Amador

There was rain in the forecast, so the Fat Cat had to hurry if he wanted to get his 10th loss in. Hurry he did, with a leadoff double by Bartolo Hernandez, a walk to Fletcher, a wild pitch, and two groundouts, while he walked Hiwalani as well, and found himself down 2-0 in no time. He was charged with five runs before the rains came and forced an hour-long delay in the third inning. When Huerta came in for long relief, all he did was to surrender long balls, like a 3-run homer to Tom Johnson. The Raccoons were plainly raped, while Garcia was undeterred by rain and puny wannabe batters, and allowed only an unearned run while pitching into the eighth. Law Rockburn was the only Coons pitcher not touched up for a run in the game, as the Loggers won a rout. 11-1 Loggers. Sheehan 3-4, 2B; Sharp 2-4, 2B, RBI; Ramirez (PH) 1-1; Wheaton (PH) 1-1;

That’s it for Amador. The ERA up to 5.55, and he’s just been **** for well over a month now. He was sent packing to AAA, with Kenichi Watanabe (1-3, 4.60 ERA) getting in entirely undeserved call to the big club. Watanabe pitched on Tuesday. We won’t move back Brownie, so Watanabe will only get to start his first big league game of the season next week.

Also, Clyde Brady’s 14-game hitting streak ended as he only reached on an error and scored the Coons only, lonely run.

Game 4
MIL: 2B B. Hernandez – CF Fletcher – RF Hiwalani – SS T. Johnson – 1B M. Woods – 3B Tolwith – C Benitez – LF Kaberman – P R. Gonzalez
POR: LF Brady – SS Sheehan – 1B Sharp – RF Greenman – CF Fernandez – C L. Ramirez – 2B Nomura – 3B Searcy – P Ford

Jerry Fletcher had killed the Coons the entire series and saw no reason to not keeping on doing it. He hit an absolutely stuffless Ralph Ford for a 2-run double with two outs in the third, and the Loggers added another run in the fourth inning on a double by Aaron Tolwith. The Coons – it goes without mentioning – hadn’t scored yet. The fans were frustrated, but the players were as well. Nomura struck out to start the fifth inning, threw his bat away and slammed his helmet onto the ground, and was ejected. The fans were booing, although it wasn’t quite clear whom they were irate with, although the bets were on Nomura. Raccoons were on second and third for Fernandez with two out in the bottom 6th, but he grounded out to Hernandez, yet we actually did get two runs in the next inning. Ramirez hit a leadoff double, Yamada tripled, and scored on a sac fly, but we were still down 3-2. Bottom 8th, Sheehan singled, Sharp singled, Greenman – double play, no score. They went down 1-2-3 against Robbie Wills in the ninth. 3-2 Loggers. Sheehan 2-4; Sharp 2-4; Ramirez 2-4, 2B; Yamada 1-2, 3B, RBI; Moreno 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

(helplessly shrugs the shoulders) I would love to tell you something enlightening or encouraging, but the truth is that they plainly suck.

There are bright spots, and even those bright spots are tainted with filth. Yoshi Yamada is second in the league with 16 steals – and imagine how many he could have if his OBP wasn’t .240 …

Raccoons (22-39) vs. Pacifics (25-35) – June 10-12, 2005

All time the Raccoons were 20-10 against the Pacifics, and we have even won the last three matchups we have had, all during our long journey through the desert. Of course, the Pacifics have been managed like a third-rate Romanian orphanage just as well all these years.

The Pacifics were not very good at scoring runs, but “not very good” still meant that they had outscored the Coons by some 60 counters at this point. Their pitching staff however was completely on fire. They were allowing 5.5 runs per game, 330 in total, dead last in the Federal League, and maybe even the Raccoons could get the slugging sticks out for once and score four, maybe even five runs in a game here.

Projected matchups:
Felipe Garcia (2-4, 3.25 ERA) vs. Paul Kirkland (3-6, 5.72 ERA)
Ben Carlson (1-5, 3.90 ERA) vs. Greg Grams (2-7, 5.88 ERA)
Nick Brown (5-5, 2.83 ERA) vs. Carlos Camacho (4-5, 4.35 ERA)

Right-right-left, and of course I was kidding. The Coons will score two, three, and no runs, and have Brownie lose another 1-0 game.

Game 1
LAP: RF C. Ramirez – 2B Liu – 1B Murphy – LF Potter – CF Morton – 3B Ramey – SS Edralín – C A. Ramirez – P Kirkland
POR: CF Wheaton – 3B Sharp – LF Brady – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – SS Yamada – C Wood – 2B Nomura – P F. Garcia

Two hits, two walks, a wild pitch – Felipe Garcia was right on top of his game, making a mess in the first inning. Fast forward to the third, Stanley Murphy hit a solo home run before Garcia loaded the bases with walks, allowed a run-scoring single to Antonio Ramirez, then after Kirkland popped out, issued his sixth walk of the day to Cristo Ramirez, forcing in another run. That was his last walk, since Kichida game in from the pen, handing Garcia his discharge papers. Kichida’s first pitch smacked Kuang Liu pretty good, and then he threw a potato to Murphy, who greatfully hit a bases-clearing double. Wait, I gotta count that. It was … ehm … oh, yeah, 9-0! By the time the sixth inning rolled around and the Raccoons upped their output (one hit in five frames) by five singles for three runs, those three runs could not have been less relevant. The Pacifics had reached double digits already. 10-3 Pacifics. Brady 2-4; Ramirez (PH) 1-1; Bryan 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K;

All other teams have been notified that Christian Greenman, Albert Martin, Edgar Fernandez and a few others are available to interesting parties.

Dismal pitching forced us to add another reliever. Steve Searcy was demoted to AAA, and 23-year old righty Adam Riddle was called up. Our 2002 second round pick had struck out 38 batters in 30.1 innings in AAA this year, with a 1.19 WHIP. He can throw 97, and mixes in a changeup.

Game 2
LAP: RF C. Ramirez – 2B Liu – LF Potter – CF Morton – 3B Ramey – SS Moon – 1B Edralín – C A. Ramirez – P Grams
POR: LF Brady – 3B Sharp – CF Fernandez – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – SS Yamada – C Wood – 2B Nomura – P Carlson

Casualties in Saturday’s loss were every last bit of would-be-confidence in Carlson, who was taken deep by Ken Potter in the first inning all the way over the new stands in rightfield, before Yoshi Nomura was injured on the next play intercepting a Joe Morton line drive. For a short time, Christian Greenman’s 2-run shot in the bottom 1st gave the Coons the lead, but Carlson had that blown by the third, with Greg Grams having the first of three singles in the inning and scoring. In the bottom of the inning it was Martin with a 2-run shot, and then Yamada hit a 2-out single, stole his way to third base and scored on Wood’s double to left. That made it 5-2, and even a mediocre pitcher should get that lead at least to the sixth. Carlson made it even into the seventh, then with a 6-2 lead, but only for acrobatic plays by Brady to starve a man in scoring position in the fifth, and Yamada, who made a leaping grab-and-tumble in the sixth to keep two Pacifics on. Two out in the seventh, the Pacifics were on the corners with Potter approaching, so Moreno came in for the switch-hitting Potter, who had a weakness against lefties. Moreno walked him (…), but then struck out Joe Morton, who represented the tying run. Adam Riddle came on in the eighth, walked Chris Ramey, then struck out the next three Pacifics, with Derek Moon his first major league victim, and Huerta closed out the deal in the ninth. 6-2 Coons. Greenman 3-3, HR, 2 RBI; Martin 3-4, HR, 3 RBI; Yamada 2-4;

Another roster move was made with the forceful removal of Matt King. Eddie Torrez had regained his swing in AAA, batting .286/.380/.514 in 84 AB, so he was added to the roster.

Game 3
LAP: 2B Liu – 3B Ramey – 1B Murphy – LF Hartley – CF Morton – SS Moon – RF C. Ramirez – C Lewis – P Camacho
POR: 3B Sharp – 2B Sheehan – LF Fernandez – RF Greenman – 1B Martin – C L. Ramirez – CF Torrez – SS Yamada – P Brown

The Pacifics got three of each from Brownie in the first inning as he surrendered three hits, three walks, three runs, and struck out three in the opening frame. Whether this was poker or merely only the circus, we weren’t sure yet, but with rain approaching, he had booked himself his sixth loss. While Al Martin hit a pretender’s home run in the bottom 2nd, Brown continued to get extraordinarily comically socked – by one guy in the lineup. Derek Moon, a terrible miscast even as a featherweight state fair boxer and the king of sluggers with three home runs in approaching 800 major league at-bats at age 31, took Brown deep. Not once, but twice.

Twice.

Brown, whose inner lion was hissing in anger, got the hook and was locked in his cage after six innings, after which the next performer came in to show his tricks. Huerta put two men on, before Bryan came in to have Greenman make an artistic catch to clean up the mess. At the plate, the Raccoons usually fell over their own feet, with the oversized red shoes to blame as well as the colorful goggles and silly cone heads they wore. Yamada somehow hit an RBI double with two out in the seventh, although Ramirez got himself thrown out at home in the process to have the inning end instead of bringing up a pinch-hitter as the tying run. Guest performer Ray Hoskins then walked said pinch-hitter Brady and Sharp to start the eighth inning, only to then have Sheehan’s zinged liner to deep left being caught by Gold Glover Forest Hartley, who was approaching 42 years old. When Fernandez sent a perfect double play grounder to the mound, Hoskins all but fell onto it, and although Brady and Sharp tried their best to run into each other on the bases and poke their eyes out, everybody was safe with one out and the big bats coming up. Greenman singled in the first run, and Martin hit a sac fly, bringing up Ramirez, who hit a single to right, scoring Fernandez, and Brown was off the hook! The Pacifics decided that Hoskins didn’t have it neither as pitcher, nor as clown, and got fed up with his act. When Donald Sims replaced him, he caught Torrez’ line drive to end the inning. Somehow Bruno, dressed as a bear, escaped calamity in the top 9th when the big tent was already on fire and the elephants running rampage after a leadoff single to Ramey, but everybody made it out safely one more time to keep it tied at five. The Pacifics now went with Nobu Matsui, who hadn’t even gotten his diploma at clown school, and as a pitcher was so-so. He got Yamada to whiff, but Brady was still lingering in that #9 hole. Matsui’s best strategy was to put ten spinning plates and a ball on sticks and tell Brady “See whether you can hit that”; Brady could, and the Coons paraded off walkoff winners. 6-5 Raccoons. Sharp 2-3, BB; Greenman 2-4, RBI; Martin 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Brady (PH) 1-1, BB, HR, RBI;

In other news

June 6 – Future Hall of Famer LAP OF Cristo Ramirez (.345, 0 HR, 18 RBI) has three hits in the Pacific’s 2-1 win over the Gold Sox to nail together a 20-game hitting streak.
June 7 – The Canadiens lose 2B Jerry Dobson (.310, 7 HR, 33 RBI), who will easily miss a month with a forearm strain.
June 7 – The Pacifics get 1B/3B Chris Ramey (.314, 3 HR, 21 RBI) from the Buffaloes in exchange for a pair of relievers named Jose: Jose Sotelo (2-1, 2.45 ERA) and Jose Rivera (0-0, 3.86 ERA)
June 8 – INF/LF Phil Montray (.286, 0 HR, 3 RBI in 28 AB) returns to the Indians in a deal with the Aces, who send over a minor league catcher.
June 8 – A torn hamstring will sit down SFB 1B Iván Gutierrez (.252, 9 HR, 39 RBI) for at least six weeks.
June 8 – L.A.’s Cristo Ramirez (.338, 0 HR, 18 RBI) has his hitting streak end at 21 games in a 4-3 loss to the Gold Sox.
June 9 – The Loggers acquire SP George Norris (1-2, 7.31 ERA) from the Canadiens for the #36 prospect, 19-year old outfielder Russ Holland.
June 10 – It’s a 20-game hitting streak for DEN INF Carlos Correa (.329, 1 HR, 19 RBI), who has a single in today’s 4-2 loss to the Aces.
June 11 – TIJ SP Jose Aguilar (4-5, 3.86 ERA) is out with a ruptured UCL. The prognosis is grim, and he might face more than one year of recovery time.

Complaints and stuff

Aww, Jerry Dobson is hurt! Aww, poor thing! Aww, I’m so sorry! I hate that pavement licker.

Bob The Clown was on waivers this week, 2.70 ERA in 6.2 innings for Topeka. Boy, was I tempted! (Kidding of course)

ALSO on waivers: Marvin Ingall! He was batting only .216 and while my fingers were itching, he hadn’t looked good at all. He was with the Pacifics, who had already gotten rid of Neil Reece three weeks earlier. Imagine that, Neil Reece, 1,989 career hits, is now a Loganville Bombardier.

There are no words!

While the Coons needed 32 games to score their first 100 runs, they RACED to their second 100 runs, which they completed on Saturday in just *31* games! WHOAH!! Somebody stop us!!

Bright sides! We will pick first in the 2006 draft – yaaay!!