[Westheim]

All Star Game

Everybody spent their All Star Break differently.

Jesus Palacios, Albert Martin, and Ralph Ford spent theirs in New York, being nominated to the Continental League roster. It was not necessarily an uplifting experience for them. While the CL won 4-2, Palacios and Martin only appeared as pinch-hitters, drawing a walk and singling, respectively, while Ford was not used, still nursing a sore wrist.

Vince was down in Mexico, scanning sweatshops and trying to tell the one talented 16-year old from all the other impoverished kids with no future. And no hopes. In some way, they all fit into our organization. I tried to send Vince towards the way of the Prick to poison him, so we could get an owner willing to pay, but Vince had none of that. His job was dissecting human bodies, he said, and when I said I was okay with dismemberment just as well, he just left.

Maud and I spent our days arguing over all kinds of crap, non of which particularly bothered me. I mean, it’s nice that she wants to do things for the fans and deliver some excitement off the field, but to be honest, there weren’t a lot of fans at the park anyway because the product ON the field was so depressing. She wasn’t going to fill the house with her ideas, and wasn’t going to bolster her resume, but neither was I, and frankly time was running out for both of us. Better concede defeat.

There was ONE guy in the organization who was not giving up. It was Chad. Somewhere around May I had given in to Maud and we had gotten Chad into a BROWN Raccoons mascot. I was no expert with children and their childish needs, but they seemed to love Chad when he was hopping up and down the warning track, regularly falling down. It was a PERFECT impression of the franchise’s top flight team. Of course, Chad fell down because he was high on fumes, while the Raccoons were just terminally inept. The costume had a stiff, swung tail that was actually quite heavy and ended in the height of a grown man’s face. Chad loved to sneak up on an umpire before the game, do stuff with him or beg for a baseball, and when he got one, he would triumphantly present it to some kids close by, in the process turning around sharply and slapping the tail into the ump’s face. Umpires were resenting his act by now, and I was resenting the shrieking children.

The Monday before the All Star Game, Chad was alone in the empty park, safe for a groundskeeper or two, and did some dance moves on the home team’s dugout in the costume. Intoxicated by glue of course. At some point he fell off the dugout, onto the steps into the dugout, and broke a leg. Being stuck in the costume, nobody heard his muffled screams until Slappy strolled by casually a few hours later in search of hidden liquor and could be bothered to call an ambulance.

Which is the right point to announce that we have a *temporary* job opening for anybody interested. Only requirements are no life skills, nor any self-esteem.

Raccoons (40-48) vs. Canadiens (40-47) – July 11-14, 2002

And just like that the Raccoons were ranked behind the Elks, and it probably wasn’t going to get any better now that the focus of the action shifted to the Willamette. Much the opposite, I now had that vile smell in my nose.

Projected matchups:
Carl Bean (8-8, 4.26 ERA) vs. Joe Hollow (6-5, 2.51 ERA)
Nick Brown (4-6, 2.83 ERA) vs. Jose Dominguez (8-4, 4.47 ERA)
Randy Farley (6-7, 3.90 ERA) vs. Juan Bello (4-8, 4.83 ERA)
Bob Joly (2-4, 2.81 ERA) vs. Cal Holbrook (4-9, 7.84 ERA)

Ralph Ford was still not right, and probably would not be until next week. Whether he can make the start on Monday vs. the Indians is uncertain right now. We might want to save up Ricardo Huerta to make a spot start.

Game 1
VAN: SS Simon – CF Wheaton – RF Velasquez – 1B I. Gutierrez – LF J. Durán – 3B Sutton – 2B Phillips – C Hurtado – P Hollow
POR: 2B Palacios – CF Reece – LF Roberson – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – RF Brady – SS Matthews – C Fifield – P Bean

Hollow faced Bean with three men on and two out in the bottom 2nd. After getting him to 1-2, Hollow unleashed a wild one that scored Brady for the first run of the game, and then Bean singled into right on a 3-2 pitch to get to a 2-0 score. Bean was doing so-so, and mostly benefited from the Canadiens playing ball the Raccoons’ way. They had a runner on third with two outs in the second, third, fourth, and fifth innings – and went 0-4. With a man on already, Hollow drew a 2-out walk off Bean in the seventh, only for Arthur Simon to strike out. The Raccoons weren’t doing all that much after the second inning. In the bottom of the seventh, Matthews was on first after a single with one out and Bean batting. Bean failed to bunt twice, then got a reluctant swing sign. He swung, and doubled past the reach of Jorge Durán. That gave the top of the lineup two in scoring position, only for both Palacios and Reece to make poor outs. Bean got stuck in the eighth, and left with the tying runs in scoring position. With the lefty Raymond Sutton up, it was a matter of putting him on intentionally and go to a proper pitcher, or call on Diaz. Well, bases loaded, with our walk-happy right-handers… um, no. Diaz it was, and Sutton struck out. No help was coming forth for the Raccoons in the bottom 8th, leaving it to Nordahl to protect a 2-0 lead. He started out by walking Jim Phillips, before Ramón Trinidad grounded the first pitch for a double play. Nordahl then struck out Jerry Dobson. 2-0 Coons. Reece 2-4; Brady 1-2, BB; Matthews 2-3; Bean 7.2 IP, 8 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, W (9-8) and 2-3, 2B, RBI;

The only other hit we had was a Martin single. The Raccoons in mid-to-late June for a while had their noses at the bottom edge of the upper half of the CL in runs scored, but were now crashing violently.

Game 2
VAN: SS Simon – 2B Dobson – LF Trinidad – RF Velasquez – 3B Phillips – 1B D. Davis – CF J. Durán – C Hurtado – P Dominguez
POR: 2B Palacios – CF Reece – LF Roberson – 1B Martin – RF Brady – 3B Sharp – SS Ingall – C Fernandez – P Brown

Brown started out getting to two strikes on almost anybody, but that didn’t mean he was flawless, drilling Doug Davis in the second inning. Nevertheless, through the first two innings he fanned four. Although Clyde Brady gave him the lead with a solo shot in the bottom 2nd, things quickly turned for the worse for the 11th round wunderkind. He was at 62 pitches through three innings, and the Elks loaded the bases with no outs in the fourth on a walk and two singles. Pedro Hurtado killed their inning with a run-scoring double play and Dominguez was easily retired, but the game was tied. His efficiency was in the trash, however, and Brown was at 102 pitches through five, but managed to complete a rather less dragging sixth. Not that it helped him any: the scrubs weren’t scoring, as simple as that. Marcos Bruno was quickly tagged with a run in the seventh and had to be dug out by Rodriguez of all people. Neil Reece set a little light in another evening of catastrophic failing, re-knotting the score with a 2-out homer in the bottom 8th, and when the Elks didn’t score in the top 9th, we had a chance to walk off against Pedro Alvarado. Al Martin led off, grounded the first pitch to second, and Iván Gutierrez couldn’t come up with Arthur Simon’s throw, which went into the dugout, and Martin was awarded second base. Flores ran for him. Brady walked, bringing up Sharp, who grounded sharply to third, where Sutton had to concede defeat, with Flores rapidly turning third base and making it home unimpeded. 3-2 Coons! Palacios 2-4; Brady 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Rodriguez 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Game 3
VAN: SS Simon – CF Wheaton – RF Velasquez – 1B I. Gutierrez – LF J. Durán – 2B Dobson – 3B Sutton – C Hurtado – P Bello
POR: 2B Palacios – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – SS Ingall – LF Parker – C Fifield – P Farley

I was ready to storm down there and chain Farley into a coma as early as the second inning, when he issued a walk to Durán with one out, then misfielded Dobson’s grounder for an error, and walked Sutton. But Randy recovered, striking out Hurtado, and Bello lifted a rather easy fly out to Reece. He would have trouble again with the same part of the lineup in the fourth before exiting with a K to Hurtado. After a few deep fly outs in the first, the Raccoons went like glue and not beyond the infield dirt until the fourth, when Marvin Ingall put up the first run with a homer to left. But Farley soon found trouble. Juan Bello led the fifth off with a single, and while Ingall and Palacios both snagged line drives, Farley surrendered another single and finally 2-run double to Gutierrez, and the Elks threatened again in the sixth, but left runners on the corners. They stranded two more (Fifield error-aided) runners in the seventh, which was as deep as Farley went. The Raccoons did not threaten safe for the accidental explosion. We left two on in the bottom 7th, then started the bottom 8th with singles by Martin and Sharp, the latter just missed by Gutierrez. Ingall’s liner was shagged by Simon, before Parker singled, loading them up for an atrocious Fifield. Yes, he can hit them a mile, but right now he was only hacking. Roberson was on the bench and what better spot to use him? Roberson took a 2-1 pitch right to Dobson, but the Elks’ only play was at first, so the tying run scored. And then we had to give the biggest AB of the day to Pablo Fernandez (over Flores and McLaughlin), who flew out to center. Martinez took over pitching duties in a 2-2 game in the ninth, which had worked the day before, and ten pitches later it was on the offense again, starting with Palacios, and oh look, they have Alvarado out again! Palacios fired a liner into deep right, easily made it to second and to a .350 batting clip, and we wouldn’t have to run for this kid for sure. C’MON NEIL!! No, Reece whiffed, Brady walked and got forced on Martin’s grounder. That put Palacios at third for Sharp, who had walked the Coons off the previous day. Alvarado put two strikes on him, but Sharp made contact, a racing grounder to the left side, and nobody was even close to that one! 3-2 Coons! Palacios 3-5, 2B; Martin 2-4, BB; Sharp 2-5, RBI; Ingall 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Parker 2-4; Farley 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 4 K and 1-2;

They are SO atrocious, it defies description. It is a picture words can’t paint. But we have found the recipe for success now: tie the opposition through eight, have Martinez do the top 9th, and manufacture it so Sharp can bat with the winning run in scoring position in the bottom of the inning.

Game 4
VAN: SS Simon – CF Wheaton – RF Velasquez – 1B I. Gutierrez – LF J. Durán – 2B Dobson – 3B Sutton – C Hurtado – P Dickerson
POR: 2B Palacios – RF Brady – CF Roberson – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – SS Ingall – LF Flores – C Fifield – P Joly

Daniel Dickerson (4-5, 3.69 ERA) came off the DL to go instead of Cal Holbrook. He faced Bob Joly, who had of the type of games old people tell their grandchildren about, but are shivering while doing so. The Canadiens rushed him for two runs in the first inning, including a hit batter in Gutierrez. The Coons made up the deficit by the second, including a home run by Palacios, and in the top 3rd, Joly just melted completely. After Wheaton got on with a single, Joly was bombed by both Velasquez and Gutierrez, then drilled Durán with the next pitch. I took exception, Durán took exception, but Durán was quicker to the mound to rip Joly’s head right off. Not that I would mind. Both were ejected (or was it executed?), and here we were, having to piece together seven innings with a bullpen while avoiding Huerta, who might have to go on Monday. Well, Daniel Miller pitched three no-hit innings, which helped a good deal. Then he went out for the fourth, walked a man, and it all seemed to be innocent, and then Daniel Sharp made a CAPITAL error, and three runs scored in a hurry. The game was over, with the Raccoons playing dead for an hour before out of the blue two were on for Martin in the eighth and he doubled them in, ending Dickerson’s ride through deserted lands. No outs in the inning, Martin was never moved past second base and the Coons lost handily. 8-5 Canadiens. Palacios 2-5, HR, RBI; Roberson 3-4, 2 2B, RBI; Fifield 2-4, 2B, RBI; Miller 3.2 IP, 2 H, 3 R, 0 ER, 1 BB, 1 K; Bruno 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

To be fair, I have waited for such a game from Bob Joly for a long time. That 2-ish ERA never seemed right.

In other news

July 14 – SAC C Lance Branch (.277, 8 HR, 29 RBI) is out for the rest of the month with a strained abdominal muscle.
July 14 – Veteran PIT INF Rodrigo Morales (.347, 2 HR, 40 RBI) is out for a month with a lat strain.

Complaints and stuff

So the Raccoons picked a few wins in the most excruciating manner out of their arses over the weekend, and sometimes you gotta say to yourself that a win is a win is a win, no matter how it came to be. Hey, at least the pitching was good! And we’re ahead of the Stinkers again.

Well, except Sunday. Sunday was Joly’s start, and Joly smelled.

He was suspended for two games, so essentially not at all, while in Tijuana things got REALLY ugly on Sunday, with Bartolo Román actually striking the Falcons’ Jesus Hernandez in the face before Hernandez took his knee into Román’s abdominal region. They couldn’t get the knives out since at that point both teams had pooled out of the dugout and piled up on top of them.