[Westheim]

Raccoons (62-93) vs. Indians (62-93) – September 25-28, 2000

Both teams found themselves in the bottom of the division because they couldn’t score runs and couldn’t keep runs from getting scored. Sounds a bit like the irresistible force meeting the immovable object, and that over four games. The Coons had a leg up in the season series, 8-6.

Projected matchups:
Scott Wade (6-14, 4.64 ERA) vs. Manuel Alba (8-13, 4.01 ERA)
Paco Martinez (1-5, 4.68 ERA) vs. Ray Conner (1-3, 4.81 ERA)
Randy Farley (14-10, 3.53 ERA) vs. Chang-se Park (17-12, 2.79 ERA)
Ralph Ford (7-16, 4.62 ERA) vs. Steve Holcomb (7-15, 3.93 ERA)

Game 1
IND: SS Montray – 1B Cicalina – C Paraz – LF D. Lopez – 3B M. Brown – 2B J. Garcia – RF Fisher – CF Lugo – P Alba
POR: SS Guerin – LF Parker – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – 2B Ingall – C Mata – P Wade

Scotty was rolled over in the first inning, when the Indians scored three runs against mediocre pitches and indifferent defense, including an infield hit and a bloop that Sharp should have had in all honesty. Sharp hit a 2-out RBI single with the bags full in the bottom of the inning before Ingall struck out. Ingall’s sac fly would tie the score at three in the bottom 3rd then. Wade struggled however, and the tie only held up in the fourth because Reece threw out Sam Fisher at home plate. In the fifth, Mata failed to dig out a Jesus Garcia grounder that became a 2-out RBI infield single. Wade was limited to six innings of 4-run ball on nine hits. The Raccoons failed all across the board. They twice had two men on with less than two outs, and never could buy a hit. In the ninth, Miller loaded the bases. Donis came in to face Matt Brown, but Quintela hit for him and hurled another bloop between Parker, Sharp, and Guerin. 6-3 Indians. Parker 2-5; Sharp 2-4, RBI; Ingall 2-3, RBI; Mata 2-4;

The Alley Cats lost the championship opener, 1-0, with Marcos Bruno taking the loss in relief.

Game 2
IND: CF Maguey – LF Quintela – C Cicalina – 1B D. Lopez – 3B Whaley – RF Lugo – 2B Lepe – SS Gallegos – P Conner
POR: SS Guerin – 3B Sharp – CF Reece – 1B Martin – 2B Ingall – RF Parker – C Jackson – LF Richardson – P P. Martinez

In both of the first two innings, the Raccoons left pairs of runners on without scoring, before Ingall plated the first run of the game with a 2-out double in the bottom 3rd, and Ingall drove in another 2-out run in the bottom 5th. Martinez allowed only one hit over five innings, but the Indians began to figure him out. Matt Brown, in after Reynaldo Gallegos left early with an injury, hit an RBI double in the sixth. Freddy Jackson in turn tripled to start the bottom 6th, and was not scored because the useless Richardson struck out, and then came Martinez, and these were the Uttercoons after all. In the bottom 7th, Conner dished out leadoff walks to Sharp and Reece, but Martin hit into a double play. Ingall couldn’t come through a third time. The Raccoons put two more runners on in the bottom 8th, couldn’t score them, and Martinez had to hand his 2-1 lead to Donis, who didn’t give up anything hard. 2-1 Raccoons. Ingall 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Jackson 2-4, 3B, 2B; P. Martinez 8.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (2-5);

The Alley Cats fell behind two to nothing in the AAA title series, losing 5-4 to Glendale. They will play three at home from Thursday to Saturday – if things get that far…

In the general big picture, all three divisions that were still open in the majors could potentially be decided on Wednesday. The Warriors had a M# of 2, the Loggers and Thunder of 1.

Game 3
IND: SS Montray – 1B Cicalina – C Paraz – LF D. Lopez – 3B M. Brown – 2B J. Garcia – RF Alston – CF Fisher – P Park
POR: LF Parker – 2B Ingall – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 3B Sharp – C Mata – SS Caddock – P Farley

Possibly Farley’s last chance at 15 wins this year, but the Indians pummeled him, starting in the third. Phil Montray got it going with a solo home run, but the Indians didn’t let up and scored three in the frame. Farley didn’t get out of the fifth then. Down 3-1, he loaded the bags with one out, and things went to **** in a hurry. Jesus Garcia grounded up the middle, but Ingall got it, threw to first – or in the general direction. The throw was in the seats. Ron Alston doubled in two, the Indians led by six, and this one looked like it had just gone down the drain. The Coons mustered something in the bottom 5th, but only scored one and left two on once more. That run was taken back from Kelly Fairchild right in the next inning, and a grand slam to Urbano Cicalina in the seventh. That was pretty much it for this thrashing, as the Indians had only ten hits, but nevertheless managed to plate a dozen runs of a horrendous Raccoons outfit. 12-3 Indians. Ingall 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Nordahl 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

They also passed us for 11th place in runs scored. Yaay. Last week and it is still getting more and more horrible.

Game 4
IND: 2B Matthews – LF Quintela – C Cicalina – 1B D. Lopez – 3B Whaley – CF Maguey – RF J. Lee – SS Gallegos – P Holcomb
POR: SS Guerin – LF Parker – CF Reece – RF Brady – 1B Martin – 2B Ingall – 3B Sharp – C Mata – P Ford

Ralph reached 100 walks on the season with a free pass to Tomas Maguey in the second inning, which was already his third freebie given out on the night. Nobody had a hit through three innings, and Holcomb even faced the minimum. In the top 4th, Ford was then skinned, with the Indians taking the lead on a 2-run double by Maguey and plating three in total. The Indians rocked over Ford, who was knocked out by a 2-run home run by Adrian Matthews in the sixth, putting the score at 6-0. Then the Raccoons actually got back into a game from which they had been completely locked out so far. First it was Holcomb losing his marbles in the sixth, issuing a few walks and the woeful Coons plated two, and they got another pair on bases-loaded 2-out walks given out by Momsilo Plavsic to Martin and Ingall in the eighth. Once somebody poked, however, in this case an 0-3, 3 K Sharp, the inning ended on a fly to Maguey. Plavsic, while inept, still finished the game. 6-4 Indians. Schaefer 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

Three hits in this one, and Hel-Lo, last place finish. Yeah, we are not actually mathematically nailed to last, but COME ON! You’ve been watching this human mess flub all over the field all summer just like me!

Coming home was no help to the Alley Cats, who were pummeled, 7-1, in game 3 of the AAA championships. They are now a loss away from … well. Losing.

Raccoons (63-96) vs. Loggers (91-68) – September 29-October 1, 2000

The Loggers came in three ahead of the Titans, so they had to win only one game in the series to clinch the playoffs. We arranged for some congratulatory flowers to be ended over before the series opener. Let’s get this pain over with.

Projected matchups:
Miguel Lopez (8-15, 4.91 ERA) vs. Martin Garcia (22-9, 2.36 ERA)
Scott Wade (6-14, 4.68 ERA) vs. Roberto Herrera (18-11, 4.64 ERA)
Paco Martinez (2-5, 4.25 ERA) vs. Vicente Perez (9-5, 4.25 ERA)

And oh hell yes, this is Martin Garcia going in the opener, and by the way, unless we blow him for like 15 runs (unlikely), he will win another pitching triple crown unless he didn’t win and OCT Aaron Anderson could somehow win TWO, and he was up by seven over SFB Tony Hamlyn in strikeouts, but Hamlyn had a blister and would probably not start again this year.

Furthermore, the Loggers also announced before the opener that they had extended Jorge Cruz for four years at a $3.4M price point.

Game 1
MIL: RF C. Ramirez – SS B. Hernandez – LF Hiwalani – 3B J. Cruz – CF Fletcher – C L. Ramirez – 2B Sullivan – 1B A. Baker – P M. Garcia
POR: SS Guerin – 3B Sharp – CF Reece – 1B Martin – 2B Ingall – RF Brady – LF Parker – C Mata – P Lopez

I lay awake all night having a picture – more like a film – in my head of Bakile Hiwalani, whom I despised with passion, hitting a game winning grand slam off Daniel Miller, whom I still liked a ton, in the ninth inning to clinch the division. It didn’t quite come to that. The Raccoons were defeated long before the ninth.

The Coons excelled in little, but left runners on third base with deadly precision, like in the fourth, when Martin arrived there with no outs. Garcia struck out Brady and Parker, and Mata was not hard to remove anyway. That was in the bottom 4th, and miraculously, the contest was still scoreless then, but the Loggers wound up Lopez in the fifth with a pair of 2-out base hits by Ramirez and Hernandez that gave them a 2-0 edge. Lopez became stuck for good in the seventh. Manuel Reyes came in, but brought no relief, instead he brought a souvenir for Jorge Cruz that became worth three runs once it passed Neil Reece and the centerfield wall. Bartolo Hernandez also got to hit a homer, while Garcia pitched eight shutout innings and whiffed seven. Even with an error and a wild pitch, the Raccoons were unable to score in the bottom 9th, either. 6-0 Loggers. Sharp 2-4, 2B; Martin 2-4; Ingall 2-4;

The Indians won, so that is that. Last place is ours!

For the Loggers, this will be their second playoff appearance only after 1994, and they have no World Series participations in franchise history. They are the second-to-last team to get to the playoffs at least twice, leaving only the Aces with one playoff appearance (1996).

Finally, the Alley Cats avoided elimination for the moment, claiming a 10-7 win over the Sports to get back to a three-one deficit in the AAA title series.

Game 2
MIL: SS B. Hernandez – 2B R. Morales – RF C. Ramirez – LF Hiwalani – 3B J. Cruz – CF Fletcher – C L. Ramirez – 1B Dean – P R. Herrera
POR: SS Guerin – LF Parker – CF Reece – 1B Martin – 2B Ingall – RF Brady – 3B Crowe – C Jackson – P Wade

Was this the final start as a Raccoon for Scott Wade? His contract was up and had yet to be renewed. Again, the game remained scoreless for some time, although it wasn’t all Wade’s merit. In the top 4th, the Loggers ran themselves out of a chance when Morales and Ramirez went for a double steal after Hiwalani had already popped out. Jackson nailed Morales, and Cruz flew out to deep center to end the inning. Ingall hit his fifth home run on the year to bring the Coons into a 1-0 lead, but that didn’t hold, as Bill Dean tied the score with a solo jack of his own in the next inning. Bottom 5th, runners in scoring position with one out, Parker fouled out. Reece came up, having walked twice on the day. Herrera again fell to three balls, before Reece put it in play and found a spot for it to drop safely for a go-ahead RBI single. Martin grounded out, and Wade came apart in the sixth, as the Loggers hit him five times, and scored four runs. The Inepticoons brought up the tying run twice in this 5-2 game, failing to plate anybody in either sixth or the seventh. Jerry Fletcher then did something to Dan Nordahl that I refuse to describe, but that didn’t leave it a 5-2 game anymore in the top 8th. The Raccoons got a pair of RBI doubles from Crowe and Jackson in the bottom of the inning, had the tying run up again – and failed. The Loggers didn’t fail to counter immediately in the ninth off Blanco, and anyway: the Raccoons were not going to turn this one around, either. 7-4 Loggers. Reece 1-2, 3 BB, RBI; Sharp (PH) 1-1; Brady 3-4, BB, 2B; Crowe 2-4, 2B, RBI; Jackson 2-4, 2B, RBI;

The Alley Cats won 6-3 on Saturday, sending the series back to Glendale for the final two games, which they will have to win just as well…

Good news is, I have to relax my sphincter just once more, let it happen, and then it will be over, and I can retreat to the woods to regroup what little mental sanity there is left.

I got warmed up for the finale, fittingly in a way, with Magnum’s “You’ll Never Sleep”.

Game 3
MIL: RF C. Ramirez – SS B. Hernandez – LF Hiwalani – 3B J. Cruz – 2B R. Morales – CF Fletcher – C L. Ramirez – 1B Costello – P V. Perez
POR: SS Guerin – LF Parker – CF Reece – RF Brady – 2B Ingall – 1B Michel – C Jackson – 3B Caddock – P P. Martinez

First play of the game, Brady comically not only misfielded, but MISFIELDED a Ramirez fly for a capital error. Hiwalani doubled Ramirez home, 1-0 Loggers. Reece tied the score with a sac fly. The next inning, Martinez bunted into a double play, and Brady hit into a double play to kill the Coons off in the third. Martinez was still holding up quite well, but after Reece and Ingall both missed home runs by not all that much in the bottom 6th, Leon Ramirez didn’t miss his chance in the seventh and broke the tie with a leadoff jack. Samy Michel didn’t leave Martinez on the hook, though, and hit a game-tying shot in the bottom of the same inning. Leon Ramirez came through for the Loggers again, pushing over the worthless Manuel Reyes in the eighth with a 2-out, 2-run single. Reyes also failed to retire Costello, and then PEREZ singled home a run. The final act of the season before the curtain fell over the ballpark (and possibly all of Coon City) saw Robbie Wills defending the 5-2 lead against the Coons. Ingall struck out. Michel rolled out to third. And Martin flew out to (gritting his teeth) Hiwalani. 5-2 Loggers. Jackson 2-3; Kent (PH) 1-1; P. Martinez 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 6 K;

**** Reyes.

In other news

September 27 – The Thunder are the second team to clinch a playoff spot, beating the Falcons, 9-4 to dump the Bayhawks. It will be the Thunder’s sixth playoff appearance and the first since 1995. They previously won the championship in 1994.
September 28 – CHA MR Enrique Hernandez (1-4, 3.11 ERA, 1 SV) is out early with a sore shoulder.
September 29 – While the Warriors lose at home to the Wolves, 5-3, the Scorpions also come up short at home, losing 2-1 to the Pacifics. That decides who wins the West, as the Warriors win the division for the fifth time, and for the fourth time since 1994, including last year. They won the title in 1978.
September 30 – A knee sprain has SAC C Lance Branch (.272, 7 HR, 78 RBI) fly home a few days early.

Complaints and stuff

By completely fudging up the final week of the season, the Raccoons successfully dropped to not only the second-worst record in baseball, last in their division, but also to an all-time record of 1,944-1,945.

Well done, boys.

Well done.

(repeatedly stabs an apple with a fruit knife)

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On a different note, the forum randomly refuses my uploads, and Photobucket does so as well. Took me half an hour to get the pics someplace. Anybody in need of a $2,000 laptop with a shotgun blast in the screen, slightly offset to the right? Because that's what's going to happen soon.