[Westheim]

I dropped before that I had been sucked into World of Tanks last year. Well, they run a monthly mission where basically you have to grind a metric crap ton of XP to get a Super Pershing tank that normally sells for like $50. Greedy as I am, I gotta have it. This entails mindless grinding for extended periods of time, and with this weekend following on the tails of Victory Day in Europe, there was a 5x XP event on. You probably know where I am going, the Critters have come up short for this very reason.

I am very sorry and will try to make up for it by not blowing the division and give you guys the best seats in the house for the playoffs.

And now roll in the Blowupcoons.

Doesn’t roll off as easily as Inepticoons.

Raccoons (90-62) vs. Indians (71-81) – September 22-24, 1995

The Loggers won as we had Thursday off (final off day of the year), and so we are 2.5 games up on both the Titans and Loggers. The Indians aren’t scoring, the Raccoons are blowing every game. Get this on.

Projected matchups:
Antonio Donis (1-1, 7.36 ERA) vs. Neil Stewart (23-4, 2.96 ERA)
Scott Wade (11-9, 3.11 ERA) vs. Vernon Robertson (7-16, 4.00 ERA)
Kisho Saito (10-11, 3.52 ERA) vs. Dan George (7-17, 4.53 ERA)

We were facing three left-handers here. Having Donis pitch against Stewart probably amounted to cruelty, but I can’t help. At least we will somehow suck Dan George into a win, too, I know that for sure.

CF Luis Maldonado threw out David Brewer at home to end the bottom 1st of the opener, except that he didn’t. Catcher Urbano Cicalina never touched Brewer, but he was still called out. We got a run in the second after a triple by Luke Newton, who started over Kinnear in left, and got up 1-0. Donis meanwhile, absolutely massacred the Indians. Through five innings, the Indians had no hits, and had struck out nine times. Donis got Cicalina to start the top 7th, but monitoring his pitch count, who was going into orbit already, cast doubt on whether he could keep a no-hitter in one piece through nine. However, Matt Brown soon rendered such thoughts irrelevant as he singled up the middle after Cicalina’s out. Next thing you know, Claudio Ayala singles to left, and Donis was taken out. De La Rosa came in, and before he ever threw a pitch, he balked the runners over. A bloop single by Luis Gonzalez scored the runners, and Donis ended up on the hook. While the Raccoons left the tying run on third base with two pop outs in the bottom 7th (Quinn, Brewer…), the bullpen managed to issue four walks in the top 8th, and Lagarde and a throwing error by Vinson cocked up another two runs in the ninth. 5-1 Indians. Brewer 3-4; Salazar 2-4; Newton 2-4, 3B, 2B; Donis 6.1 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 10 K, L (1-2);

We had ten hits. They had FOUR. Like I said, it is going to hell. The Loggers lost to New York at home, but the Titans beat the Canadiens, 5-3, and we are now at POR 90-63; BOS 1.5 GB; MIL 2.5 GB;

Only good news, David Brewer has a 12-game hitting streak.

Reece had a day off in game 2. Wade gave up a 1-0 lead in the top 3rd with a pair of homers, the latter hit by Matt Brown, and the former by Vernon Robertson. For once, hits were then chained together in the bottom 5th by the Raccoons, with doubles by Brewer and Green, an O-Mo single, and a Baldy double scoring three for a 4-2 lead. Wade was trusted with that, and didn’t get through the sixth. Two walks in succession to Carlos Paredes and Maldonado, which was TOTALLY out of the ordinary, and then a Jose Martinez RBI double sent him out. Martinez came in to face Mamoru Sato, the catcher, gave up a 2-run single, then had Jose Renteria reach on a Baldivía error. He then advanced the runners with a wild pitch, and ended the AB to PH Dane Thompson with a walk. Enter the manager, exit Martinez, enter De La Rosa, exit foaming manager, enter Ayala, exit Ayala with a pop up, enter still foaming manager, exit De La Rosa, enter Burnett, exit yet still foaming manager, enter lefty Luis Gonzalez, exit Sato by way of home plate with a walk, enter Brown, exit a 2-0 pitch to deepest center and into Idaho. In other words, ballgame. 10-6 Indians. Brewer 2-4, 2B; Salazar 2-5; Green 2-5, 2B, RBI; O’Morrissey 2-4, BB, RBI; Baldivía 2-4, 2 2B, RBI; Mallandain 3.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 1 K and 1-2;

Top of the sixth. Indians scored eight runs, on three hits. It is not supposed to happen. The Raccoons are not supposed to be in the playoffs. Loggers lost, Titans clawed on to a 4-3 against the Canadiens. POR 90-64; BOS 0.5 GB; MIL 2.5 GB;

And why exactly did I trade Matt Brown away?

We also got news on Miguel Lopez, who had a mild hamstring strain and was listed as DTD, but would miss at least one start, so we had to save Vázquez to jump in. Lopez was listed as “one week” by the medical staff, so maybe he was done for the year, since I was not going to start a wounded starting pitcher in a pennant battle.

‘nother game. Saito pitched, so the result was bound to be something like IND 2, POR 1, or maybe IND 15, POR 1 … Accordingly, Jose Martinez opened the game with a home run to dead center off Saito. The Indians tacked on a run in the second on throwing errors by Ingall and Brewer alone. We tied that back to 2-2 in the bottom 2nd, and after Bobby Quinn’s RBI double we had two runners in scoring position with no outs. Neither run scored, and we again left a pair in scoring position in the fourth. An erratic Dan George loaded the bags in the bottom 5th with one out, and before Baldivía could ground into a double play, Cicalina allowed a passed ball to score the go-ahead run. George ended up walking both Baldivía and Quinn, the latter walk forcing in a run, and then McDonald scored another with a groundout. Up 5-2, Saito went out for the sixth, and surrendered a rocket to Brown right away, 5-3. Three single scored another run, 5-4, and Saito started the seventh, but was knocked around and Lagarde gave up the go-ahead run eventually. Saito didn’t get stuck with the loss when the Raccoons offense suddenly came back in the bottom 7th. Artie Saunders put O-Mo on, O-Mo stole second, and Green doubled him in. Green then scored on an error and we were ahead again. We were up 8-6 after eight, and basically had Miller and Burnett left for the ninth, with two righties and Brown sandwiched in between. Miller started to face Cicalina. Now, if Cicalina gets on, Burnett enters to face the lefty Brown (despite surrendering a grand slam the previous day), but Miller got the catcher, so he was left in and ended up walking Brown. Then Ayala got on. Miller surrendered Maldonado, who flew to Kinnear in deep left. Switch-hitter Chris Boyle appeared as a pinch-hitter, so Miller stayed in with the tying runs on the corners. Boyle hobbled out to Ingall at short, and we got away with this one. 8-6 Raccoons. Baldivía 3-4, BB, 2 RBI; Quinn 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Kinnear (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Fortunes reversed for our opponents, with the Titans losing and the Loggers winning. POR 91-64; BOS 1.5 GB; MIL 2.5 GB;

And David Brewer’s hitting streak fell at 13 games to an 0-4, 4 K day.

Raccoons (91-64) @ Crusaders (72-83) – September 25-28, 1995

Bring in the worst rotation of the league once more. Score on them, because the Crusaders’ bullpen leads the league in ERA. We will play four in contrast to the Titans and Loggers, who will have off days on Thursday, but will play each other while we are in New York! Best case scenario for us, the Loggers take two. But you know how things have been going lately. We were going to face only right-handers.

Projected matchups:
Jason Turner (19-7, 2.82 ERA) vs. Francisco Garza (2-7, 5.96 ERA)
Robert Vázquez (13-7, 3.79 ERA) vs. Cipriano Miranda (7-13, 5.86 ERA)
Antonio Donis (1-2, 6.00 ERA) vs. Anibal Sandoval (8-1, 2.94 ERA)
Scott Wade (11-10, 3.25 ERA) vs. Hector Lara (11-15, 5.22 ERA)

Game 1 was as much about Neil Reece as anybody else. He made no less than four great plays in center to support Jason Turner bidding for #20, which made up for him not producing an awful lot at the plate, at least in a RISP situation in the bottom 1st. The rest of the team however, was not getting an excuse, except maybe for Kinnear, who also made a spectacular play on Ruben Melendez to end the bottom 5th, starving a pair in scoring position in a scoreless game. Eventually, someone had to come through, and it was a 1-out RBI double by Matt Higgins in the top 6th that brought home Green. Turner was done after 6.1 innings with 110 pitches and tough left-handers coming up. West came in, got one out and put runners on the corners, and when the Crusaders brought right-hander Victor Martinez to pinch-hit, we countered with Miller, who allowed a hard fly ball to deep right – and Green caught it a foot off the grass with a launching grab! An insurance run however refused to come around. We ended up needing somebody to protect Turner’s #20 with a 1-0 lead in the bottom 9th. Oh yeah, and coonskinner Benjamin Butler led off. De La Rosa was selected. He put on Butler AND Ed Rigg, yielding for Burnett with the barn yet ablaze. Clement Clark grounded out and Jean-Claude Monnier flew out, but that was enough to score Butler. Extra innings. Lagarde was tapped to go as deep as was necessary. Lagarde pitched four scoreless before Rigg hit a leadoff double in the 14th. Mallandain came in against Clark and Monnier. Those two made outs, advancing Rigg to third. Melendez was walked intentionally, and Victor Martinez flew out to Reece. And the band played on, with the Raccoons displaying ZERO offense. Mallandain became stuck in the 17th, which had us get the last arm in the pen, Day Grandridge. After totaling two hits between the 10th and 17th, O-Mo walked with one out in the 18th, and Jin, just in the game in the double switch that brought in Grandridge, doubled to right. O-Mo was held, and Rodriguez was replaced by our last catcher, McDonald, to bat. McDonald grounded out, no advance possible. Baldivía came up with two out, and Enrique Hernandez uncorked a wild pitch that scored O-Mo. Baldivía flew out. Grandridge had to go back out, since the only pitchers left were starters. Butler grounded out. Rigg struck out. Clark grounded out to short. 2-1 Raccoons. Reece 2-6, 2 BB, 2 2B; Higgins 2-5, 2B, RBI; Jin (PH) 1-1, 2B; Quinn (PH) 1-1; Turner 6.1 IP, 9 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K; Lagarde 4.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K; Mallandain 3.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 3 K; Grandridge 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (1-1);

18 innings, 10 hits. Yeah, boys, we got this! (cries a river) The Titans trumped the Loggers, 9-2, and remember, we play the Titans in the final series of the year. Right now it looks like an all-out winner-takes-all. POR 92-64; BOS 1.5 GB; MIL 3.5 GB;

Game 2 had Vázquez spelling the ailing Lopez, facing another pitcher of an ERA of almost six. The Coons scored a run in the third, Vázquez gave it back in the fourth. And the bus with more offense just wouldn’t come to us. Vázquez went seven, didn’t get support, and also no decision. Martinez came in, put a man on, failed to advance, Burnett surrendered the run, and the Raccoons went down. 2-1 Crusaders. Ingall (PH) 1-1; Vázquez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K and 1-3;

Boston beat the Loggers, 5-2. Getting closer. POR 92-65; BOS 0.5 GB; MIL 3.5 GB;

Donis showed the old guys how it’s done in the third game, knocking a 2-out, 2-run triple in the top 2nd to give himself a 2-1 lead. That didn’t change the fact that Donis was horrible on the mound. He loaded the bases in the bottom 3rd, mainly through walks, then walked in two in addition to allowing an RBI single, and was yanked after only six outs collected, and one more run scored against Miller. The Raccoons failed their way through the innings until they arrived in the ninth, still down by three after some decent relief and little to no batting. Then, Reece and Kinnear got hits of Ivan Lopez. The tying run came to the plate with no outs. Green popped out behind first base, and Ingall came up. Grounder to second, four-six-three. 6-3 Crusaders. Reece 2-5; Kinnear 2-5; Miller 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K and 1-1, 2B; De La Rosa 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

Anibal Sandoval fractured Matt Higgins’ foot with a pitch in the third inning, so Higgins’ season is over. He also hit Brewer after that, but was out of the game before I could signal for a well-disguised bean to the purple guy on his batting helmet. And by well-disguised I mean screaming out to Grandridge or De La Rosa to take the sucker’s head off.

To make my living hell complete, the Titans out-lasted the Loggers in a back-and-forth slug fest, taking the win in the 13th inning of a 12-10 game. That changes the picture a bit. BOS 92-65; POR 0.5 GB; the Loggers are done for the year. And it also means we have to win the series against them, and in the best case it will be two-out-of-three.

Scott Wade was responsible for getting us into position for this … let’s call it least-worst-case scenario. You know what I mean. I was going to give Brewer another day off here, but I need his bat.

Wade allowed singles to the first four batters the Crusaders threw up, and we found ourselves down 2-0 in an instant. Kinnear drove in a run in the fourth. Down 2-1 in the bottom 4th, Wade had Haywood Lammond on first with two outs and faced the pitcher Lara. He walked Lara, walked Ed Rigg, and then fell to an infield RBI single by Clement Clark. Monnier dumped a single into left, and everything was about over, 5-1 down. That was still the score in the top 8th, in which Brewer had a 1-out infield single, then Salazar singled, and Lara walked O’Morrissey with two out. Green came to the plate as the tying run. Monnier picked his liner out of the air in left. In the ninth we forced in the Crusaders’ closer Jared Chaney when Bobby Quinn hit a 2-out single that also put Kinnear on second. Brewer was the batter, and Salazar was the tying run in the on-deck circle. Brewer fanned. 5-1 Crusaders. Salazar 2-4, 2B; Kinnear 3-3, BB; West 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

I hate this bag of suckers. If they were cats, you could at least throw the bag into the Willamette.

In other news

September 24 – The Cyclones lose 5-3 to the Capitals, but their LF/RF Michael Root (.311, 16 HR, 74 RBI) joins an elite club with a second inning solo home run off Takeru Sato: the 300-homer club. The club contains only two other players, RIC Gabriel Cruz (318), and the retired Mark Dawson (304).
September 25 – NYC SP Dan Barnes (11-19, 4.84 ERA) has suffered a torn back muscle and is out for the year. Focus is on getting him back up for April 1996.
September 26 – Charlotte’s Bob MacGruder (6-8, 4.21 ERA) dominates the Thunder and tosses a 2-hit shutout in a 2-0 Falcons win.
September 28 – The Scorpions beat the Gold Sox, 7-1, and clinch the FL West. Sacramento has not seen playoff games since *1980*, when the Scorpions won their only title. Between 1982 and 1991, the team failed to finish in the upper half of the division even once. It is their fourth overall playoff appearance. They will face the Miners.
September 28 – WAS SP Bill Smith (12-16, 4.27 ERA) turns in a 3-hitter as the Capitals slap the Miners, 9-0.

Complaints and stuff

David Brewer batted 13-22 with 1 HR and 4 RBI in the week ending with the dismal Indians series, netting him CL Player of the Week honors.

None of our minor league teams were even close to playoff contention and only AA Ham Lake had a winning record.

What else? Ah right. Game over. All over.