OOTP Developments Forums - View Single Post - Northern League Baseball: A humorously depressing look 50 years into the future...

Nunyer · 02-28-2012, 02:57 PM

Selig named NLB Commissioner
Nation collectively gasps "WTF, He is sill alive?"
by Wayne Krenchicki IV, YTGTESPN Staff Reporter
February 26th, 2052

NEW YORK, NY - After ten years of existence being run directly by an executive board of owners, Northern League Baseball has decided to add a figurehead to the organization. They have announced the hiring of former MLB Commissioner Bud Selig.

"We like what Bud brings the table," said Baltimore Ball Buster owner Mark Day, "which is mainly that he typically has no clue what he is doing and has an excellent track record of being an obedient lackey for ownership."

When asked if his advancing age is a concern, Day brushed off such concerns. "The man is almost 120 years old and still has a passion for the game. I can't think of a better way to embrace a new, younger generation of fans then to hire a frighteningly old, old man."

Selig himself appears spry and aware for a man of his age. "Well, I have a special elixir I take weekly to keep myself young," stated Selig, "the key ingredient is the tears of crippled orphans... Only naturally crippled orphans, don't get any ideas of crippling any orphans yourself, those tears are no good. Boy howdy, did I learn that one the hard way."

According to most reports, Selig will not be involved in any direct day-to-day operations for the league, and has primarily been hired to be a figurehead. "The word just rolls off the tongue, Selig, has a golden ring to it." said Mark Day. "We think he will make a great public face for our still growing league."

02-28-2012, 02:57 PM	#3
Nunyer All Star Reserve Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Baseball Ned Flanders stares into your soul... Posts: 594	Selig named NLB Commissioner Nation collectively gasps "WTF, He is sill alive?" by Wayne Krenchicki IV, YTGTESPN Staff Reporter February 26th, 2052 NEW YORK, NY - After ten years of existence being run directly by an executive board of owners, Northern League Baseball has decided to add a figurehead to the organization. They have announced the hiring of former MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. "We like what Bud brings the table," said Baltimore Ball Buster owner Mark Day, "which is mainly that he typically has no clue what he is doing and has an excellent track record of being an obedient lackey for ownership." When asked if his advancing age is a concern, Day brushed off such concerns. "The man is almost 120 years old and still has a passion for the game. I can't think of a better way to embrace a new, younger generation of fans then to hire a frighteningly old, old man." Selig himself appears spry and aware for a man of his age. "Well, I have a special elixir I take weekly to keep myself young," stated Selig, "the key ingredient is the tears of crippled orphans... Only naturally crippled orphans, don't get any ideas of crippling any orphans yourself, those tears are no good. Boy howdy, did I learn that one the hard way." According to most reports, Selig will not be involved in any direct day-to-day operations for the league, and has primarily been hired to be a figurehead. "The word just rolls off the tongue, Selig, has a golden ring to it." said Mark Day. "We think he will make a great public face for our still growing league."