Crabs 3-4 Burners – Salemwich rallied for 3 runs over the final 2 stanzas to snatch a win from Crab SP Pebbles Peete. RBI doubles from 1B Rip Ripperson (.278,7,56) and CF Scooter Dane (.305,7,51) had put Harbour Bay ahead 2-0. Salemwich pulled one back in the bottom of the 6th on 3B Innocence O’Malley’s (.266,10,39) grounder to third, scoring CF Muscles Mason. Mason was plated again in the 8th off a LF Tatty Pierce (.340,2,36) double. Come the bottom of the 9th, RP Lickspittle Scaggs was pulled in favor of PH Pansy Yeller (.333,0,3), who promptly smacked in SS Dude O’Day for the win.
W: Lickspittle Scaggs (1-0, 3.24); L: Pebbles Peete (7-6, 3.78); PoG: Muscles Mason (3/4, 2r, 2b)
Nightmares 4-5 All Stars – A 3-3 tie was broken up in the bottom of the 8th, Salem 1B Boo-Boo Baker (.300,5,39) cracking an RBI single and RF Groucho Romario (.284,3,22) adding the punctuation mark with a sac fly to center. Riverbottom tried to rally in the 9th, but one run – from a double off the bat of 3B Onion Munyon (.330,0,28) – was all they could manage.
W: Suzy Q. Perkins (11-3, 4.94); L: Bling Bling Bermudez (6-9, 4.56); S: Loopy Alice Otter (12, 3.55); PoG: RIV RF Pepper Dotson (4/5, 1r)
Blues 2-3 Hollers – Not unexpectedly, this turned out a tight pitcher’s duel, Piggville’s Mgr/SP Babe Appleby coming out slightly ahead of opposing SP Hairbow Haley. The two teams exchanged runs through 4, Piggville plating the decider when Appleby’s routine grounder to SS Shaggy Muldoon was kicked across the stadium, scoring an astonished 3B Bossie Clementine. Speaking of Bossie (.344,4,30), she had herself two hits to extend her streak to 27 ballgames. Whoo-ee!
W: Babe Appleby (11-6, 2.93); L: Hairbow Haley (7-9, 3.60); PoG: Babe Appleby (9ip, 5h, 2r, 2bb, 6k)
Bullies 3-2 Kin [11 inn] – Grimside produced a good comeback in the top of the 8th, rebounding from a 2-0 hole on RBI hits from C Large Marge Franklin (.273,1,31) and SS Slowey Zoe Zamm (.279,6,49). Into extra innings we went, the Bullies breaking through in the 11th when CF Nick the Dick (.331,4,38) doubled in reserve RFJiggs Barnaby for the win. Bumpkindale didn’t exactly murder the ball off SP Dooley McCooley – their 2 runs coming off of groundouts.
W: Cocky Cochrane (1-0, 0.00); L: Mongo Lloyd (0-1,5.79); S: Angry Karl Karlsson (10, 3.44); PoG: GRI SP Dooley McCooley (9.2ip, 6h, 2r, 4bb, 1k)
Your Sunday Supplement June 21
Code:
Club Won Lost GB Avg Runs ERA
Piggville 50 24 - .290 411 2.82
Harbour Bay 43 31 7 .286 439 4.44
Bumpkindale 41 33 9 .266 348 4.01
Citypark 36 38 14 .277 369 4.83
Riverbottom 35 39 15 .287 370 4.20
Grimside 33 41 17 .276 375 4.67
Salemwich 31 43 19 .269 299 4.80
West Village 27 47 23 .261 305 4.96
Player of the Week: RIV CF Snooty Rotheschilde (12/25, 3, 6)
AVG: RIV Pepper Dotson .359; BUM Amy Earhart .357; PIG Spunk Williams .350; PIG Tuck Thompson .349; PIG Bossie Clementine .344.
HR: RIV Pepper Dotson 13; CIT DJ Jazzy Twan 13; BUM Giggles Mountjoy 12; HB Buster Lowe 11
RBI: RIV Pepper Dotson 61; BUM Amy Earhart 57; HB Rip Ripperson 56; PIG Cale Christianson 54; CIT Big Ears Lathum 54.
WINS: PIG Prissy Puddin 13; PIG Babe Appleby 11; CIT Suzy Q. Perkins 11; HB Emma Queen 11; BUM Lute Strummer 10.
ERA: PIG Prissy Puddin 1.67; PIG Coonskin Tate 2.25; BUM Lute Strummer 2.85; PIG Babe Appleby 2.93; SAL Frowny Malloy 3.15.
K’s: PIG Prissy Puddin 115; RIV Kid Ferdinand 96; RIV Mickey Fine 82; HB Big Nate Wimmer 79; WV Hairbow Haley 78.
Tout the Scout Presents: Best Power Hitters
Although I don’t consider the FBL to have any legitimate 5-star sluggers, there are a number of sluggers I’d feel comfortable describing as possessing 4-star potential. Based upon sheer talent for knocking little balls over faraway walls, they are:
1.HB 1B Rip Ripperson: Age 32, Bats left, 7 HRs
2.PIG 1B Tuck Thompson: Age 26, Bats left, 10 HRs
3.RIV C Connie Courage: Age 39, Bats right, 4 HRs (just 71 AB)
4.CIT CF DJ Jazzy Twan: Age 33, Bats right, 13 HRs (leads FBL)
5.SAL 1B Princess Patsy: Age 28, Bats right, 3 HRs
6.SAL 3B Innocence O’Malley: Age 33, Bats right, 10 HRs
7.BUM 1B Giggles Mountjoy: Age 27, Bats left, 12 HRs
Now Hear This: Commish Baker Rejects Petition
Claiming that there is no direct evidence that Harbour Bay used illegally-juiced balls during their June 19 victory over Citypark, Buddy Baker refused to overturn the results of that contest. Citypark manager Snuggles Henderson was outraged, arguing that by now the Crabs could have thrown all the incriminating evidence into the Big Blue Bay. Baker, still dripping wet and sporting a snorkel and flippers, assured all that he had “… explored that angle thoroughly.”
Next up for Baker will be disciplining Henderson for flipping off Bay manager Al Good during their June 20th matchup, and assessing penalties for the crowd trouble that followed the game.
Snuggles Benches Metro, Promotes Romario
Citypark manager Snuggles Henderson announced today that 28 year-old star rightfielder and media icon Billy Metro (.324,10,38) has been consigned to the bench in favor of 32 year-old Groucho Romario (.284,3,22). “I’m just sick of his bull****”, explained Henderson – ungracefully referring to Metro’s penchant for mocking authority (especially hers) and placing his personal interests above the team. Witness his refusal to bunt for teammate/rival DJ Jazzy Twan.
Henderson’s current plan is to start Romario against right-handed pitching, and Shortstuff Carter (.174,1,10) against southpaws. As for Metro (who had no immediate comment), he will serve as a backup outfielder and first-bagger.