[Celtic Forever]

Bullies 0-4 Hollers – Piggville SP Coonskin Tate blanked Grimside on 6 hits, going the distance afore 9,087 at The Pig Pen. Offensive help came from an unlikely source in reserve C Babydoll Jacobs (.243,0,3), who cracked 3 doubles and scored twice while deputizing for regular C Red Harris. 1B Tuck Thompson (.346,9,38), 0 for his last 9 at bats, went 2-for-4 in a rebound effort. Back to Tate. He has now won a complete game in his last 3 starts, and conceded a mere 2 earned runs over his last 40 innings pitched. Shazamm!! W: Coonskin Tate (9-3, 2.24); L: Holy Hale (7-8, 3.79); PoG: Coonskin Tate (9ip, 5h, 0r, 0bb, 6k)

Kin 5-2 Nightmares [11 inn] – After being shut out by Riverbottom SP Kid Ferdinand for 8 innings, Bumpkindale rallied for 2 in the top of the 9th on an RBI triple by RF Thumby Holt (.338,3,32) and a tie-producing single from C Priscilla Paine (.295,7,35) -off CL Angel Hare. The game went to extra frames as Ferdinand assaulted the water cooler, coming to a conclusion when Kin 2B Grumpy Gil Meyer (.256,3,26) smashed a 3-run homer in the 11th off RP Conchy Shell. River had established a 2-0 advantage in the 2nd off RBI singles from 3B Crazy Sara Seine (.231,2,19) and 2B Sunny Summers (.243,1,26). W: Agatha Jewel (4-1, 1.45); L: Conchy Shell (2-1, 2.63); PoG: Grumpy Gil Meyer (2/5, 1r, 3rbi, hr)

Burners 3-2 All Stars – A 3-run shellacking in the top of the 1st settled this one early, RBI singles from LF Tatty Pierce (.343,2,34) and 2B Pansy Yeller (.300,0,2) and a scoring groundout from C DeForest Gump (.242,0,6) setting the pace for Salemwich. Citypark tried to retort via an RBI single in the 7th from RF Groucho Romario (.277,3,20) - deputizing for Billy Metro - and an 8th inning homer from LF Ella Goode (.329,8,21), but Salemwich’s relief corps proved able to hold the line. For Burner SP Frowny Malloy, today was the first action since May 30th, when he disabled himself with a pulled abdominal. He was quite good. W: Frowny Malloy (8-4, 3.32); L: Cal Hobbes (5-12, 4.13); S: Pippi Long (9, 4.00); PoG: Frowny Malloy (8ip, 7h, 2r, 2bb, 3k)

Crabs 13-1 Blues – Harbour Bay unleashed the pain on West Village - and SP Cathy DuShoppe in particular - 5 home runs and 3 doubles sparking a rout at The Village Green (5,441). RF Buckethead Bramble (.306,6,40) led the game off with a dinger over the rightfield wall, beginning a home run derby that was joined by SP Emma Queen (.339,1,11), 1B Rip Ripperson (.272,7,53) and – twice – LF Buster Lowe (.307,11,45). The scoreboard showed a 9-0 lead for the Baymen after 4 innings, and it continued to get a workout as the Crabs scored in every frame but the 8th. Yes, they did tack on one more (just to be safe) in the 9th off 2B Prance Staley’s (.308,5,34) RBI single, but Village got ‘em back on LF Rosie Thorn’s (.347,3,11) run-plating single, keeping matters from being comical. W: Emma Queen (11-3, 3.63); L: Cathy DuShoppe (7-10, 3.93); PoG: Buster Lowe (3/4, 2r, 3rbi, 2 hrs)

Now Hear This: FBL Draft Results

Round 1
1.West Village: C Emmy Lou Lemieux,22
2.Salemwich: RF Goofer McGee,18
3.Riverbottom: SS Barney Power,21
4.Grimside: 3B Yank Strethers,17
5.Citypark: SP Genius Jones,21
6.Harbour Bay: 2B Boots Brannerd,19
7.Bumpkindale: RF Holly Honey,21
8.Piggville: 2B Shred Davis,21

Round 2
1.West Village: 3B Brooklyn York,21
2.Salemwich: 1B Kelly Starr,17
3.Riverbottom: C Binkley Simms,21
4.Grimside: LF Bucky LaRoux,22
5.Citypark: CF Daisy Dukes,22
6.Harbour Bay: C Bobby Believer,18
7.Bumpkindale: 1B Highlight Bobby Brown,18
8.Piggville: RF Pepito Ruiz,18

Round 3
1.West Village: RF Blackie Blackwelder,19
2.Salemwich: 2B LuAnne Bonkers,17
3.Riverbottom: 2B Barnyard Briggs,21
4.Grimside: C Pinky Brown,21
5.Citypark: RF Bubbles McElroy,18
6.Harbour Bay: 2B Harley Thatcher,20
7.Bumpkindale: RF Big Woody Jamison,22
8.Piggville: RP Babe Darling,18

Round 4
1.West Village: 3B Palomino Sue,21
2.Salemwich: RF Hannah Hornrim,17
3.Riverbottom: CF Sailor Jack,21
4.Grimside: RP Betty Bunyon,21
5.Citypark: SP Lil’ Annie Fannie,17
6.Harbour Bay: SP Tweet Timmons,18
7.Bumpkindale: RP Gen Hiroshima,17
8.Piggville: 3B Buster Bronco,21

Round 5
1.West Village: RP M.J. Jackson,22
2.Salemwich: RP Big Billy Blanchard,17
3.Riverbottom: RP Barnaby Biggs,21
4.Grimside: RP Tubby Slackjaw,20
5.Citypark: SP Astonishing Tompkins,21
6.Harbour Bay: SP Hot Scott Jordan,20
7.Bumpkindale: RP Atomic Thomson,17
8.Piggville: RP Farley Tibbits,17

But Wait, There’s More: Riverbottom, Grimside Trade Made

The Riverbottom Nightmares have finalized a deal with the Grimside Bullies for the services of 38-year old starting pitcher BLING BLING BERMUDEZ. In exchange, the Bullies will receive 30-year old catcher LARGE MARGE FRANKLIN. Thus far FRANKLIN has hit .287 with 1 home run, 30 RBIs and scored 30 runs.
This season BERMUDEZ has compiled a 6-8 record with a 4.47 ERA.
Not a popular move for Grimside, as Bling Bling was a heavy crowd fave. Now he will slot in as Riverbottom’s #2 starter, behind Kid Ferdinand. Franklin will be given the starting nod in Grimside, resigning light-hitting April Mae June to the bench. Both are top-rate backstops, but June is 35, with Franklin 5 years her junior.