[bucketsndimes]

FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 2009

Pirates GM Suffers Fatal Fall
Neal Huntington Perishes At The Hands of The Colonel

LOUISVILLE, KY -- The Pittsburgh Pirates were founded in 1982 as the Pittsburgh Alleghenies. Later they became the Pittsburgh Pirates and have enjoyed a storied history. With World Championships in 1909, 1925, 1960, 1971 and 1979 the Pirates are behind only 5 other franchises in World Series hardware.

However, dark times have fallen over "The Steel City" as the Pirates have not had a winning season since 1992. 16 straight years without a record of .500 have put a damper on the franchise's legacy. One more year of losing and the Pirates will break an infamous record they hold with the 1933-1948 Philadelphia Phillies for the most consecutive losing seasons by a single team in American professional sports.

Things only got worse today when the Pirates organization learned of the tragic death of general manager Neal Huntington. Huntington, 40, had taken over the position of GM following the 2007 season and saw yet another last place finish for Pittsburgh in the NL Central in his inaugural season as GM.

Huntington perished earlier today after a visit to the Kentucky Fried Chicken headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky. Nobody is quite sure why he was taking a tour of the facility with Pittsburgh's first game of the season on Monday. Huntington apparently tripped thanks to an untied shoe and fell 35 feet into an industrial fryer, boiling him alive. All that remains is his skeleton. Doug Strange, a current special assistant to the general manager has been named interim GM.