Another quote-based story...
Amazing amazing amazing!! TEAMNAME PLAYERNAME ignites with a X for Y performance against the OPPONENT, hitting for the cycle. PLAYERNAME swings a lethal bat with N singles, N doubles, N triples and N homers, completing a notable performance and driving in X runs. A jublilant PLAYERNAME remarked after the display of hitting prowess "There is an old saying that money can't buy happiness. If it could, I would buy myself X hits every game. I don't like to sound egotistical, but every time I stepped up to the plate with a bat in my hands, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the pitcher."
Pete Rose, Rogers Hornsby
(Casey Stengel too if you count the Amazing part
)