[Kevin]

"Three steaming draws all presided over by Italian judges" fumed the much feared Kevin Scotia as he prepares for the quarter-finals. "If we settled these in the Legion parking lot like the old days, we wouldn't have to worry about ladylike men in fancy suits deciding who wins or loses."

Scotia has been working to improve his ability to take a punch by spending every Saturday evening at various taverns in fishing communities by dirty dancing with various wives of prominent boat captains. "I thought I could take just about anything until that little feller nailed me with a five pound bag of frozen scallops. That one cost me two teeth, not to mention the two-four of Keith's to keep him from hitting me again."

When asked if his rugged good looks were what attracted these women, Haggis indicated they didn't hurt, but nothing impresses them like a new pair of shiny rubber boots.