[chicoruiz]

It’s 1:45am and I’m writing this from a hotel lobby in Boston. I can’t go upstairs because Mauro Soto, my roommate, is entertaining a young lady in our room. Mauro Soto is at least 40 years old, speaks little English and has neither money nor fame. He’s been a professional catcher for at least 23 years, and his body resembles an old brown paper bag stuffed full of doorknobs. I really don’t want to see what type of woman goes to the hotel room of someone like him.

Anyway, I had been reading One Hundred Years Of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, but I needed a break from it, so I was thumbing through my copy of the Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract when I felt someone looking over my shoulder. It was Kevin Brown, our leftfielder and one of the leading mouth breathers on the Washington Nationals.

“Yo, Dean…Hey, I heard of that guy James; he’s full of crap”. This from a man who asks for help reading the hard words in his copy of Hustler.

“Oh, I don’t know, Kevin. I don’t agree with everything he says, but he’s got some interesting ideas.”

“Nah, he’s just some smart-ass jerk who never even played the game. Only us guys who play baseball good really know about it.” Note: Kevin is hitting .215 as a corner outfielder. Write your own joke.

“Like this idea here--- he says stolen bases are way overrated.” Actually that’s not in this book, but stolen bases are about all Kevin does well, and I wanted to tweak him a little bit.

“Oh yeah? Well you tell that guy James he can go **** a ******* until its **** turns into *****. I’ll tell you this, no big league team would ever hire a snot like that; and if they did they’d be in last place, guaranteed.” And with that parting remark, he stormed off.

Maybe he’s right. I wonder if a team will ever put James’s ideas into use? Oh well…Kevin may be a moron, but at least he has a room to go to. I think I’ll close this entry and go see if I can book another room and get some shut-eye. 'Night all...