My cousin sent these to me in an E-Mail today. Some (I deleted most) seemed to fit this thread
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40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is done.
40. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different (This one is in honor of this post)