Iiiiiitttt's...preview time!
Code:
2006 AL EAST STANDINGS
New York Yankees........109-53 (.673), lost to ANA in ALDS
Boston Red Sox..........90-72 (.556), 19 GB, 1 GB of wildcard
Baltimore Orioles.......72-90 (.444), 37 GB
Toronto Blue Jays.......69-93 (.426), 40 GB
Tampa Bay Devil Rays....54-108 (.333), 55 GB
Well, this is not exactly unfamiliar territory. The AL East, the classic representation of haves and have-nots. The personification of three Davids and, shall we say, an Achilles, versus Goliath. Look at the numbers in the games back column for those last three teams. 37...40...55. Only in baseball can such vivid imagery be conjured from a single number. 40 games. 55 games between two teams! I see a bunch of midgets wearing ill-fitting green and yellow uniforms, looking like, in the words of Jim Bouton, "a bunch of clowns", and out of the other dugout, a bunch of
robotic baseball machines. And
Bronson "
I Have No Plate Patience and a Reverse Platoon Split, Even Odds I Suck This Year"
Sardinha. Well, there's a reason the
Empire lost in the first round last year, and it sure as hell wasn't
The Gload.
Things may change a bit this year, but you can keep the images of
Devil Rays singing songs from "The Wizard of Oz" and
Yankees mashing 500-foot bombs and short-circuiting around second base in your mind. A bunch of static characters, we have here, and you'll have the privilege of a first-hand look as to why.