First of all, much thanks for all of the comments. They're worth a lot more than just one throwaway line, but if I type any more, this post will go on for pages and pages. So instead of that, here's the end to 2006, at long last.
Code:
THE AL CENTRAL IN THE YEAR 2006
Cleveland Indians.......98-64 (.605, 7th AL Central flag)
Kansas City Royals......82-80 (.506, 16 GB, 21-game improvement on '05)
Minnesota Twins.........78-84 (.481, 20 GB, worst record since 2000)
Detroit Tigers..........70-92 (.432, 28 GB, lowest profit of all 5 teams)
Chicago White Sox.......69-93 (.426, 29 GB, 7-game improvement)
The awards came and went without a
Pale Hoseman rewarded.
Javier Vazquez and
Mark Prior, who combined for 45 victories in nearly 500 innings, were pretty easy Cy Young picks, though a cadre of similar pitchers like
Jason Schmidt must certainly curse their timing.
Tyler "
The Yankee Clippard" brought home likely his first of many awards by receiving the American League's Rookie of the Year, and a 27 year old second baseman named
Jake Gautreau won that award in the National League with a .331 average and 16 home runs.
Brian Giles of the
Friars was the consensus best everyday player in the league, and
Eric Chavez came out on top of a tightly contested American League race thanks to 44 home runs overshadowing a .335 OBP. And for the curious,
Julio Lugo finished 284th, behind both
Mark Prior, who didn't play a game in the American League, and the
Jolly Green Giant.
Finally, the second season, and there's a full season's worth of storyline there. For everyone's sake, I've shortened it to a long paragraph or three.
The de facto World Series favorite, the 109-win
Empire, had their gonfalon bubble pricked before it even expanded, as their fantastic season came to a quick and sudden stop as they went down in four games in the first round to
John Lackey and
Los Angeles of Anaheim. The ace right-hander, a native of Los Angeles of Abilene, TX, threw two gems and didn't allow a run, with the finest performance of his career coming in the clinching fourth game -- a complete game two-hit shutout. In the other American League matchup,
Clifford "
The Big Red Bartosh" played the role of "Manny's
Lackey" against
Seattle. The 20-game winner played a deciding role in the nip/tuck battle
not televised on FX and outdueled
Tomo Ohka in the fifth game to send the
Tribe onward, ho.
In the League of Lesser Importance, the
Cubs took down the
Dodgers, just to take away more of our fan base, and the
Rockies also won in four games, toppling
The Other New York Team and setting up the potential for an all-purple World Series. How vaguely homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that, of course).
Nevertheless, it was not to be. The
Cubs, behind
Prior and
Wood, pushed the
Rockies off of Pike's Peak in six, and much to my surprise, the ballyhooed ALCS was a huge letdown.
Josh Beckett, Proven Playoff Pitcher, was at top form, as was the much-maligned
Cleveland bullpen, and
Anaheim could manage just one win in five tries.
That set up an awful, awful World Series, at least from the perspective of the
Pale Hose. Our crosstown rivals against our divisional rivals? Why not just hold the damned games in U.S. Cellular, while you're at it?
Actually, if I played the games out, I
could have done that. Too bad I didn't. Would have been amused me, at least. Erm, anyhow, the
Tribe got stellar work from
C.C. Sabathia (and the Sunshine Band), winning both of his starts by the score of 5-3, and though
Mark Prior was brilliant in game one, he was chased by the fifth in game four.
Bartosh and
Kerry Wood won one each, and there you have it.
The anatomy of a World Series champion from the AL Central. And next year, the
Pale Hose will follow that same guide, step-by-step. Like
George Zimmer, I guarantee it.